No Season Two

(Recorded on February 23, 2025) Episode One is here! And since these episodes have no titles, we’re creating our own! We’re calling this one, “The Nanny Diaries,” because Victoria Winters, the recently hired governess at the Collinwood estate in Collinsport, Maine is providing some much need narrative context. Victoria isn’t the only new person in town, cousin Barnabas from England has also arrived, coincidentally at the same time a bunch of bad stuff starts happening! Shockingly, the police aren’t very good at putting these two things together.

Also, Meaghan and George discuss the relatively new OJ Simpson documentary on Netflix; George is blown away by a young Joseph Gordon Levitt performance; and Meaghan is tired of men’s daddy issues. (Original network air date January 13, 1991)

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(Recorded on July 14, 2024) Up this week is “Safe,” the fifth episode of Firefly. If you were wondering what the Serenity crew was going to do with that cattle from last week, this is the episode for you. If you love Zac Efron, this episode for you. And if you were wondering what Shepherd looks like without his shirt on, this episode is definitely for you. We kick off the episode with some Simon and River backstory and get more throughout. This is all to set up how far Simon would go to protect his sister (a little heavy handed, but we did ask for more backstory, so that’s on us). Moving on! Serenity has landed on a backwoods planet to unload the cattle; unfortunately they didn’t check their source box for any travel advisories in Jiangyin. While half the crew stay back to offload the cattle, Kaylee, Inara, Simon, and River head into town. At a shop Simon, proceeds to unintentionally insult everything Kaylee likes which obviously upsets her! Inara and Kaylee leave and River wanders off and finds herself a local LARPing community. Back at the OK Corral, the cattle sale goes awry when the local police show up to arrest the buyers. In the melee, Shepherd gets shot (by who, it’s not clear). River’s spidey senses are tingling, but before her and Simon can leave Shakespeare in the Park, they’re kidnapped—by the people that the travel advisory was warning about! The rest of the crew can’t wait around to look for them and take off to find Shepherd help. Unfortunately, Simon and River see Serenity leave them, ouch. The Serenity crew seek help at an Alliance station, but before they can be turned away Shepherd pulls out his Obamacare card and they rush him to treatment. Simon is just settling into his role as Doc Hollywood (is this thing on?) when his sister is accused of being a witch! Before the town can get out their s’mores kits, Mal and the rest of the crew come to rescue them. If only Joan of Arc had been so lucky.

George comes to the realization that if he gives up on a coherent story line he enjoys the show; Meaghan doesn’t understand why we’re making up new words to describe things that already existed; and we say goodbye to our girl, Shannen Dorehty. (Original network air date November 8, 2002)

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(Recorded on August 4, 2024) Up this week is episode seven of Firefly, “Jaynestown.” The crew are headed to Canton, a town who survives on the export of mud and slave labor. Who do they think they are, Shein? Jayne disguised as the REI Lawerence of Arabia, doesn’t want to go because he previously robbed the town’s magistrate—a man named Higgins, whose sole focus in this episode is getting his 26 year old son, Fess, laid (weird!). While Mal, Wash, Jayne, Kaylee, and Simon journey to town, Zoe and Shepherd stay on the ship with River. After meeting the foreman of the mud plantation, the crew stumbles on a statue of Jayne, made out of what else, mud. Simon seems most dumbfounded, making some of campiest shocked faces we’ve seen in the serious so far. They visit a local tavern and while imbibing in mudders milk (I hope it’s pasteurized) they’re treated to a musical performance by a local. The song, Hero of Canton is about Jayne—describing how he robbed from Higgins and then rained the money down on the towns people. Obviously that is only half true, as Jayne only dumped the money so his ship wouldn’t crash (and that’s not the only thing he dumped!). The mudders discover Jayne is back and boy are they happy to see him. Higgins, while waiting for his son to lose his cherry (his words, not mine) to Inara finds out that Jayne is back in Canton. Higgins, unlocks Encino Man from a wooden box and is like, “go on, git! you know what you need to do!” Ladies and germs, that man is Stitch Hessian, Jayne’s former partner who he also dumped from his ship. Obviously he as an axe to grind! There’s a pretty good fight scene (I’ll give them that) and then Jayne holds a republican press conference telling everyone to stop waiting for a handout and get a job! They have a job, they just don't get paid, Jayne!! While all of this is going on, Kaylee is trying to flirt with Simon (awkwardly). And River is being kind of racist??

Also, George implores Meaghan to watch the movie Heat; Meaghan is offended that George questioned her boyband knowledge; and they both encourage everyone to listen to Give It To You. (Original network air date October 18, 2002)

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(Recorded on September 7, 2024) No Season Two is back from our mid-season break and we’re talking about episode nine of Firefly, “Ariel.” The Serenity crew is heading to the allied world Ariel, so Inara can get her government mandated physical exam to renew her companion license (the future sounds awful! but also familiar, womp womp). Before they can touch down on Ariel, River slashes Jayne across the chest with a butcher’s knife (you go girl!) and Jayne does not take it well! Mal realizes River is getting worse and has her confined to her quarters. The next day while the gang is playing a game of horseshoe and bemoaning their lack of money-making endeavors, Simon waltzes in with a proposition for them: get him into the hospital in Ariel City so he can find out what’s wrong with his sister (diagnosis: A LOT) and they will have access to all the pharmaceuticals they want to resell on the black market. Ladies and germs, we have a heist! And not the sad heist that was in “The Train Job.” This a bonafide heist with an Ocean’s 11 montage. Things go perfectly at first—Simon finds out that the alliance turned River’s amygdala into mush, and Zoe and Mal are able to snag all the drugs. Unfortunately for everyone, Jayne is a part of their crew and he called the feds to turn in Simon and River for some reward money. Of course Jayne didn’t think (big obviously here) that this plan would backfire, but it does spectacularly. The blue glove guys show up turning people's brains into pools of blood, but before they can get to Simon and River, Mal and Zoe come to the rescue. Back on the ship Mal pulls a “you did it to me!” with Jayne while threatening to have him sucked out into space. But does he do it? No. But it’s fun to watch Jayne think he’s a goner.

Also, George shares one his favorite summer past times; Meaghan won’t shut up about the tv show OZ (trust us, it will make sense); and we both try to figure out what is going on with the hospitals in the 26th century (Seinfeld voice). (Original network air date November 15, 2002)

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