29: A Change of Heart

How do we lose the desire for addiction? Is it possible?

During the decade I spent addicted to porn, I dreamed of a day I could finally be free of the chains of addiction.

That I could finally have my confidence around women back

That I could finally be free of the social anxiety I suffered with

That I could finally have my motivation and drive back that pornography addiction, alcohol, and drugs had robbed from me.

That I could finally be clear-headed again and get rid of the brain fog that these addictions had cursed me with.

I WANTED to be sober. I wanted it bad.

I was told that if I could just be motivated enough by all of these things that I wanted, then I would finally get sober. The world said that porn addiction recovery was just a matter of will.

I thought, “I must be weak, or lazy.”

“Something must be wrong with me.”

“What kind of man am I if I can’t just stop looking at these pictures and videos? I mean, shouldn’t it be EASY to stop doing? Just STOP LOOKING!”

It wasn’t that simple. It isn’t for anyone.

To truly lose our desire for addiction - to break free of porn addiction - requires a massive shift in lifestyle and mindset. It requires a change of heart.
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