At Least There’s No Tailgating

Explicit content warning

03/16/21 • 59 min

1 Listener

The Rangers think a superspreader event is a great way to welcome Opening Day, while the rest of the ballparks plan to welcome a small number of fans back to the stands. The Commissioner uses the minors as his own private laboratory to try out a huge number of new rules in advance of CBA negotiations.

Shortstop, conqueror of the Durham Bull, and Pookie’s pal Willy Adames is Pottymouth’s Rays boyfriend for this season. Gavin Lux, the Dodger’s 2B with the heart in the shape of a baseball fills out her middle infield. Third baseman, conqueror of Aroldis Frickin’ Chapman, and non-draftee Mike Brosseau is Patti’s guy on the Rays. Catcher Will Smith, the Fresh Prince of LAD, caps off her boyfriend picks for the season.

Opening Day festivities in the CPBL included six mascots, from rainbows to the scales of justice to one who is just, um, pink. Here’s how to watch the games. Please take a spin through the best of MLB’s school picture day. Steak comes up more than you’d think.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, watch your distance, get your vaccine as soon as you can, and fight the man. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Previous Episode

Bat Flips, Puns, and Gerrymandering

Pottymouth narrows the field to white guy bat flippers for her boyfriends this week. For the As, she picks big league foodie Mark Cahna, and for the Padres, the man on the wrong end of our favorite play ever witnessed in person, Trent Grisham. Patti goes for utility and puns with her picks. Chad Pinder wins her over for the As with his work with special needs kids, and “that Cronenworth guy”, Jake Cronenworth for the Padres.

COVID numbers look good around the league, some ballparks are planning on fans in the stands, and some former boyfriends make bad decisions. Eduardo Rodriguez, and his recovering heart, makes his first post-COVID start. MLB designates June 2 as Lou Gehrig Day. Sam Dyson’s season-long suspension headlines our police blotter this week, but Mickey Calloway is now a regular there.

The University of Rochester welcomes catcher Beth Greenwood as the second woman to play NCAA Division 3 baseball. Puerto Rico’s womens baseball league doubles in size -- follow Edwin Hernández to keep tabs on that. Opening Day approaches for our favorite breakfast baseball, the CPBL. Maybe Daniel Kim can help us watch KBO games this year. Patti works “gerrymandering” into the conversation.

Next Episode

Don’t Hit Your Brother: It’s Pitcher Day

We are those people that believe that Jesus Camargo-Corrales wouldn’t have more than 21 pounds methamphetamine and 1.2 pounds of oxycodone in his Cubs duffel bag if minor league players a living wage. Also helpful hints from Pottymouth about consent to search. An appellate court rules the MLB’s small print is way too small to matter.

Patti clearly cannot pronounce Red Sox Cornah, but Pottymouth sure can so we have a Franchy Cordero boyfriend ruling from the Commish, root for opening day pitcher E-Rod, and get to talk about LeBron James (new part owner!). We stress the Madness in March Madness as we cross-train over the disparities in facilities, meals, swag, even COVID testing, between men’s and women’s tourneys.

It’s pitcher week at NCiB, when we select our squads from which our fantasy team pitchers will be drawn. Pottymouth embraces the newly pumped-up Padres. Welcome Yu Darvish, Blake Snell, and Joe Musgrove, joining Dinelson Lamet and Chris Paddack. Patti mashes up pitchers with the grooming segment by focusing on the ridiculously good looking (oh yeah, and talented) young Cleveland squad including Cal Quantrill, Aaron Civale, and Triston MacKenzie, plus that Cy Young guy Bieber.

Alexia Jorge, the youngest player on ‘19 US WNT, commits to play baseball for Saint Elizabeth University. Veteran broadcaster Beth Mowins is the first woman to call play-by-play for the Cubs. Justine Siegal helps the British Baseball Federation kick off a women’s league. In this week’s plug to get you to watch breakfast baseball, Pottymouth highlights @olisamir ‘s game alerts, a hot rookie, and an electric bike. No excuses for missing CPBL. The KBO institutes pace of play rules with financial consequences. Also, we say scrunchie way too much, Pottymouth gets a tiny bit vulgar, and Patti sings Soft Cell.