Drowning in an Inch of Water: Learned Helplessness

02/26/21 • 30 min

N.A.R.C. Troopers: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Collaborators

Learned helplessness paralyzes recovery after abuse from a Cluster B partner. It is a dynamic that happens slowly over the course of a relationship with a narcopath that is a total erosion of your ability to be a self-actualized, whole, and complete individual. You come to depend on the narcopath for all cues and behaviors and responses. You depend on them to be the only source of your existence and survival. They take away all of your power until you are a raw, defenseless, helpless, incapable mess. You are not helpless, and your only chance of freedom from this nightmare is to assert your ability to be a complete individual without the need to attach or become addicted to external people or things.

Previous Episode

When Murder is Your Best Option

The narcissist psychopath is a murderer, and more importantly, they have already murdered themselves. The only way you can be free is to ceremoniously "kill" them (not literally in real life). One good kill deserves another. And by putting them in their rightful place, you can carry on as the widow (er) you actually are.

Next Episode

When the Sweetness is Poison

What happens when sweetness turns out to be poison? Sweetness is a highly valued quality in our world, and the narcopath has adapted, assimilated, and learned how to be sweet as cherry pie with ice cream on top.

After a brief digression about assigning labels, the value of sweetness is examined and the qualities that are truly important are identified:

moral virtue, loyalty, steadfastness, honesty, transparency, commitment, self-sacrifice, generosity, fidelity, devotion, courage.

These are the things that matter the most.