25. It’s too dangerous to hope in my neurodiverse relationship.

10/19/23 • 29 min

www.lovingdifference.net In this episode, we’re busting the myth it's too dangerous to hope in my neurodiverse relationship. A member recently shared the following:- 'It's so encouraging to read also from people with similar first-hand experience, about the fears and doubts and then about the hope. Hope is something I had tried to let go of in recent years, because i experienced so many setbacks and one-way streets that it felt almost counter-productive to try and keep it alive.' In this podcast we recall how hope evaporated as our energy depleted as we tried various different strategies which didn't work and how our belief that things could get better was replaced by disappointment, resignation and, ultimately, despair. We lost hope that anything could get better in our Neurodiverse Relationships. So we totally get it when members arrive in exhaustion and despair and find it difficult to even dare to hope that things could get better. In fact, we often say to our members that we'll carry the hope for now. And we've got enough for all of you! We talk about the parallels between losing hope in our neurodiverse relationships and losing hope in our ability to make a difference in aspects like climate change. When all we hear is the problems, the enormity of it, the hopelessness of it, it feels impossible to make a difference, so why even bother? This can be what it feels like in our relationships too. So, how can we shift back into hope. And how can hope, when combined with agency and energy, create the motivation to keep going in our quest to have a better experience in our neurodiverse relationships? Join us in a conversation which is so close to our hearts and to our mission to bring hope to all those who are struggling in their neurodiverse relationships. Want to learn more or join us on the road to being YOU and thriving in your own neurodiverse relationship or family? Join Loving Difference and check in to Revival Retreat at https://www.lovingdifference.net/ Revival Retreat is an all-online, life-changing coaching programme for anyone in a neurodiverse relationship who want things to change, to discover a new map, a proven route, empowering resources, sustainable solutions and all the support you need, hosted by accredited coaches who are also navigating difference in their relationships and family. Choose the Revival Retreat Plan at www.lovingdifference.net for more details and to sign up. What is Loving Difference? A place that brings together anyone looking for new ways to live in neurodiverse relationships, with a focus on living well together with difference. Loving Difference is hosted by Coaches with experience navigating life with difference. We guide members to learn about themselves and their loved ones in a safe, non-judgmental community so that we can inspire and encourage each other to love the unconventional and beautiful differences in ourselves and in our homes #neurodiverse #neurodiversity #asd #autismspectrumdisorder #autismawareness #aspergers #autism #dontletanyonedullyoursparkle #aspergersrelationship #mentalhealth #happyrelationship #neurodiverserelationship #cultivateyourhappiness #beyouagain #beyou #liveslow #livewithintent #autismspectrum #neurodiverselove #lovingdifference #adhd #love #neurodiversecouple #coach #neurodiverserelationshipcoach #neurodiversefamilycoach

Previous Episode

24. Can my experience change in my neurodiverse relationship if my partner doesn't change?

www.lovingdifference.net In this episode, we’re busting the myth that others need to change so that our experience is different. We used to think our experience was dependent on what others did or didn't do... and we've realised that's not true. Our waiting on others to change or hoping they'll change or expecting or believing they should change or trying to get them to change cost us our health and happiness, for years!... and we weren't prepared to do it that way anymore.. and we found a way that isn't dependent on that! Most of our listeners and Loving Difference members are working on changing their experience in their neurodiverse relationship/family without the support or involvement of their partner. This was us too and it meant we needed a different approach than all those we found at the time. That different approach not only transformed our own experience dramatically, it consequently changed the vibe and dynamics in the relationships with our partner and children. We've realised healthy relating that's prioritising loving connection doesn't force or expect others to change. What we can do instead is get into healthier relationship with ourself and then make healthier decisions and in relation to others based on what they are choosing to do or not do. We have healthier ways now to handle how different needs, preferences, capacities, values, tolerances can all be catered for in a relationship/family, also for accountability, 'unacceptable behaviour' and things that we believe or perceive others can't or won't do. In time, our partners and children changed how they related to us and that began a chain reaction that has created significantly more thriving individually and collectively in our relationships and families. Want to learn more or join us on the road to being YOU and thriving in your own neurodiverse relationship or family? Join Loving Difference and check in to Revival Retreat at https://www.lovingdifference.net/ Revival Retreat is an all-online, life-changing coaching programme for anyone in a neurodiverse relationship who want things to change, to discover a new map, a proven route, empowering resources, sustainable solutions and all the support you need, hosted by accredited coaches who are also navigating difference in their relationships and family. Choose the Revival Retreat Plan at www.lovingdifference.net for more details and to sign up. What is Loving Difference? A place that brings together anyone looking for new ways to live in neurodiverse relationships, with a focus on living well together with difference. Loving Difference is hosted by Coaches with experience navigating life with difference. We guide members to learn about themselves and their loved ones in a safe, non-judgmental community so that we can inspire and encourage each other to love the unconventional and beautiful differences in ourselves and in our homes #neurodiverse #neurodiversity #asd #autismspectrumdisorder #autismawareness #aspergers #autism #dontletanyonedullyoursparkle #aspergersrelationship #mentalhealth #happyrelationship #neurodiverserelationship #cultivateyourhappiness #beyouagain #beyou #liveslow #livewithintent #autismspectrum #neurodiverselove #lovingdifference #adhd #love #neurodiversecouple #coach #neurodiverserelationshipcoach #neurodiversefamilycoach

Next Episode

26. I can't be happy at all whilst everything is so terrible in my Neurodiverse relationship.

www.lovingdifference.net In this episode we're busting the myth that 'I can't be happy at all whilst everything is so terrible in my Neurodiverse relationship'. Many of our members arrive in Loving Difference hoping to resolve the challenges in their neurodiverse relationships, so that they can be happy again. We don't want our members to wait until they've resolved all their challenges in their relationship to be happy! We want that for them ASAP! In fact, we'd go further than that. We take the view that being happy (and we're mindful that there are so many nuances to that word!) is key to having a better experience in our neurodiverse relationships! We have so many stories and expectations about how a happy relationship = a happy me. But really it's the other way round. We believe A happy ME is a prerequisite to happy relationship! We're much more likely to be able to experience happiness in a relationship if we're able to create it for ourselves first. And we want to help our members discover ways to do that for themselves, even though we know it's a hard concept when they've arrived exhausted after years of persistent stress. And in any case, most have lost touch with who they are and what makes them happy. The truth we've realised is that happiness really does come from within and we have agency to create it without changing anyone else. And we are PASSIONATE about helping our members recover from persistent stress, exhaustion and unhealthy relationship dynamics and rediscover who they are and how they can resource themselves to experience more happiness. We hope you enjoy our conversation and are inspired and encouraged to start along your own journey to BE YOU, to recover from there stress of it all and to discover ways to have a better experience in your neurodiverse relationship ASAP! Want to learn more or join us on the road to being YOU and thriving in your own neurodiverse relationship or family? Join Loving Difference and check in to Revival Retreat at https://www.lovingdifference.net/ Revival Retreat is an all-online, life-changing coaching programme for anyone in a neurodiverse relationship who want things to change, to discover a new map, a proven route, empowering resources, sustainable solutions and all the support you need, hosted by accredited coaches who are also navigating difference in their relationships and family. Choose the Revival Retreat Plan at www.lovingdifference.net for more details and to sign up. What is Loving Difference? A place that brings together anyone looking for new ways to live in neurodiverse relationships, with a focus on living well together with difference. Loving Difference is hosted by Coaches with experience navigating life with difference. We guide members to learn about themselves and their loved ones in a safe, non-judgmental community so that we can inspire and encourage each other to love the unconventional and beautiful differences in ourselves and in our homes #neurodiverse #neurodiversity #asd #autismspectrumdisorder #autismawareness #aspergers #autism #dontletanyonedullyoursparkle #aspergersrelationship #mentalhealth #happyrelationship #neurodiverserelationship #cultivateyourhappiness #beyouagain #beyou #liveslow #livewithintent #autismspectrum #neurodiverselove #lovingdifference #adhd #love #neurodiversecouple #coach #neurodiverserelationshipcoach #neurodiversefamilycoach