Mythbusting Neurodiverse Relationships

www.lovingdifference.net Caution: please look after yourself for today's episode. There is discussion of suicide and the very desperate situations our young people experience and that we as parents can experience in our efforts to support them. If you need to, skip this one. We welcome your comments and questions about what we're sharing today. Get in touch via www.lovingdifference.net or email [email protected]. In this episode, we're responding to a recent BBC News article about the alarming numbers of young autistic people dying in the absence of the specialist support they need. You can read the article we're referencing at this link - https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-66731265. We're specifically talking about our experience in the UK in this episode though we know that the issue of insufficient or inadequate support is not isolated to the UK. We support members globally in Loving Difference and hear about this from all countries. Efforts to change this are very very slow in coming and in the meantime, children's situations and life chances are being significantly affected. In our conversation we’re busting the myth that diagnosis for our children leads to ‘all the support you need'. The reality for us and for so many families and their children is that the promises of support that have them battling and exhausting themselves for a diagnosis aren't there or are insufficient to support the needs of children and young people... and the very real experience that in the waiting time to diagnosis, the issues that began the process have become worse. We're sharing our own experiences as best we can whilst at the same time respecting the privacy of our children who experienced a lot of difficulties in childhood and as teenagers, particularly in the education system. We're also sharing some of the things that helped us to cope, recover and begin to thrive again as a family in spite of the absence and inadequacies of statutory care and support. We know we are some of the lucky ones. Our children are still here. They are still recovering in lots of ways and some of them are still really struggling and we're still in the struggle with them. The gift is that we have better ways now, ways that ensure we're well and that means we're in the best possible position to support them so much better than when we were exhausted, overwhelmed and in our own mental health crises. Want to learn more or join us on the road to being YOU and thriving in your own neurodiverse relationship or family? Join Loving Difference and check in to Revival Retreat at https://www.lovingdifference.net/ Revival Retreat is an all-online, life-changing coaching programme for anyone in a neurodiverse relationship who want things to change, to discover a new map, a proven route, empowering resources, sustainable solutions and all the support you need, hosted by accredited coaches who are also navigating difference in their relationships and family. Choose the Revival Retreat Plan at www.lovingdifference.net for more details and to sign up. What is Loving Difference? A place that brings together anyone looking for new ways to live in neurodiverse relationships, with a focus on living well together with difference. Loving Difference is hosted by Coaches with experience navigating life with difference. We guide members to learn about themselves and their loved ones in a safe, non-judgmental community so that we can inspire and encourage each other to love the unconventional and beautiful differences in ourselves and in our homes #neurodiverse #neurodiversity #asd #autismspectrumdisorder #autismawareness #aspergers #autism #dontletanyonedullyoursparkle #aspergersrelationship #mentalhealth #happyrelationship #neurodiverserelationship #cultivateyourhappiness #beyouagain #beyou #liveslow #livewithintent #autismspectrum #neurodiverselove #lovingdifference #adhd #love #neurodiversecouple #coach #neurodiverserelationshipcoach #neurodiversefamilycoach

www.lovingdifference.net Caution: please look after yourself for today's episode. We realise this is a big topic we're bringing attention to today. We hope you're open to hearing some new thoughts that challenge narratives which, from our own experience, are based on outdated assumptions and stereotypes. Most important is knowing that we're here to validate ALL experiences and find new ways to see, understand and relate to them. These syndromes, typically applied to those identifying as neurotypical or non-autistic, were our doorways too so we're sharing our experiences and expanding them with the new insights and experiences we've encountered. We welcome your challenges, comments and questions about what we're sharing today. In this episode, we're busting the myth that Cassandra Syndrome (or Affection Deprivation Disorder or Ongoing Relationship Trauma Syndrome) only impacts NT women because of their autistic husband. We'll be sharing the descriptions of these collections of symptoms, We're sharing how we've noticed the not believing or invalidation of experience that characterises the syndrome's name is not an experience limited to one group of people or one neuro-identity. Understanding how invalidation of experience comes about, and that it is more universal than is traditionally discussed, can help us to find common ground AND new ways to validate ALL experiences, revitalise connections and rebuild relationship safety and trust. Listen along to our conversation to discover the truth that busted this myth for us! Want to learn more or join us on the road to being YOU and thriving in your own neurodiverse relationship or family? Join Loving Difference and check in to Revival Retreat at https://www.lovingdifference.net/ Revival Retreat is an all-online, life-changing coaching programme for anyone in a neurodiverse relationship who want things to change, to discover a new map, a proven route, empowering resources, sustainable solutions and all the support you need, hosted by accredited coaches who are also navigating difference in their relationships and family. Choose the Revival Retreat Plan at www.lovingdifference.net for more details and to sign up. What is Loving Difference? A place that brings together anyone looking for new ways to live in neurodiverse relationships, with a focus on living well together with difference. Loving Difference is hosted by Coaches with experience navigating life with difference. We guide members to learn about themselves and their loved ones in a safe, non-judgmental community so that we can inspire and encourage each other to love the unconventional and beautiful differences in ourselves and in our homes #neurodiverse #neurodiversity #asd #autismspectrumdisorder #autismawareness #aspergers #autism #dontletanyonedullyoursparkle #aspergersrelationship #mentalhealth #happyrelationship #neurodiverserelationship #cultivateyourhappiness #beyouagain #beyou #liveslow #livewithintent #autismspectrum #neurodiverselove #lovingdifference #adhd #love #neurodiversecouple #coach #neurodiverserelationshipcoach #neurodiversefamilycoach

www.lovingdifference.net Let’s quickly recap Part 1! We shared that we’ve discovered lots of reasons why our needs weren't being met: Neurodiversity narratives Cultural narratives and unconscious expectations Experience of how how needs have been met in the past Plus lots of other contributing factors. The point is that there were lots of things and it wasn't as simple as ‘you can’t or you’re not meeting my needs and you should be’! Please do go back and listen to part 1! In this episode we're diving deeper to explore What even are needs?! Who is responsible for meeting needs? We discovered a myth inside the myth on this one and beyond that a new truth to live into that took step by steps and created a whole new experience for us! Want to learn more? Join Loving Difference FREE at https://www.lovingdifference.net/ Hop into Revival Retreat, a self-paced and life-changing coaching programme for anyone in a neurodiverse relationship who want things to change, but it feels impossible, confusing, or too hard to start to discover new perspectives and tools so that they can decide their next right step. Choose the Reignite Plan at www.lovingdifference.net for more details and to sign up. What is Loving Difference? We’re an online membership community bringing together anyone looking for new ways to live in neurodiverse relationships, with a focus on living well together with difference. Loving Difference is hosted by Coaches with experience navigating life with difference. We guide members to learn about themselves and their loved ones in a safe, non-judgmental community so that we can inspire and encourage each other to love the unconventional and beautiful differences in ourselves and in our homes #neurodiverse #neurodiversity #asd #autismspectrumdisorder #autismawareness #aspergers #autism #dontletanyonedullyoursparkle #aspergersrelationship #mentalhealth #happyrelationship #neurodiverserelationship #cultivateyourhappiness #beyouagain #beyou #liveslow #livewithintent #autismspectrum #neurodiverselove #lovingdifference #adhd #love #neurodiversecouple #coach #neurodiverserelationshipcoach #neurodiversefamilycoach

www.lovingdifference.net In this episode, which is Part 1 because we realised we have a lot to say on it (!), we’re busting the myth that your partner can’t meet your needs so you’ll need to leave the relationship to recover yourself and thrive. It takes us back to the very beginning of our journey together in 2014 when we were reading and learning lots about the new land of neurodiversity we hadn’t realised we were in. There are narratives and other contributing factors that we share plus the new truth we discovered and live these todays which has supported our recovery and supports greater understanding and connection in our relationships and families. Want to learn more? Join Loving Difference FREE at https://www.lovingdifference.net/ Hop into Revival Retreat, a self-paced and life-changing coaching programme for anyone in a neurodiverse relationship who want things to change, but it feels impossible, confusing, or too hard to start to discover new perspectives and tools so that they can decide their next right step. Choose the Revival Retreat Plan at www.lovingdifference.net for more details and to sign up. What is Loving Difference? We’re an online membership community bringing together anyone looking for new ways to live in neurodiverse relationships, with a focus on living well together with difference. Loving Difference is hosted by Coaches with experience navigating life with difference. We guide members to learn about themselves and their loved ones in a safe, non-judgmental community so that we can inspire and encourage each other to love the unconventional and beautiful differences in ourselves and in our homes. #neurodiverse #neurodiversity #asd #autismspectrumdisorder #autismawareness #aspergers #autism #dontletanyonedullyoursparkle #aspergersrelationship #mentalhealth #happyrelationship #neurodiverserelationship #cultivateyourhappiness #beyouagain #beyou #liveslow #livewithintent #autismspectrum #neurodiverselove #lovingdifference #adhd #love #neurodiversecouple #coach #neurodiverserelationshipcoach #neurodiversefamilycoach

www.lovingdifference.net Recently we got together to celebrate being friends for nine years and a special AUA (Ask Us Anything!) answering questions from Loving Difference members. In 2014, we both felt like we were suffocating and trapped in lives we couldn't change. It was as if life had drained the life out of us. We hoped that discovering neurodiversity would sort out the daily nightmare that our lives had become. Meeting each other, we started to breathe again. We found ways to bring ourselves back to life, woke up from the nightmare and step by step by step began to experience the love, connection, peace and harmony we'd been craving. We love that we get to create some of that magic and share those ways with you! In our celebration conversation, we touched on a range of topics including - life before meeting in November 2014, - friendship origins, - how we shrink geography, - what inspired Loving Difference, - acceptance, - knowing we'd be ok and - the limits of labels. You won't be surprised to hear that we didn't get through all your amazing questions so there will be a sequel!! Enjoy! ✨ ps. If you’ve run out of hope and ways, sign up for Revival Retreat via www.lovingdifference.net