Motherness

In this episode, I speak with Nic Winslade, who is known on Instagram as Virgin Mum. Nic is a mother-of-two to son Marlo and daughter Blair, and today we chat through both of her Fourth Trimester experiences, including her birth stories, postpartum, all the lessons she learned along the way, and the wisdom that comes with being a second-time mum.
We cover her reflux experience with son Marlo, her thoughts about society’s sleep expectations for newborns, the transition from one-to-two, her contrasting breastfeeding journeys, and her trying physical recovery with a rectal prolapse which she recounts with the honesty and hilarity she’s loved for.

Nic also talks of the miscarriage she had between her two children and how leaving the emotions of this experience undealt with affected her bonding with daughter Blair later on. It's also what she attributes to her postnatal depletion.

Like Nic says throughout, when it comes to being a mum, especially with a baby, we just want to know that what we’re going through is normal and temporary, so I hope you find comfort in our conversation today if that’s what you’re seeking. Amongst the honesty, there's a lot of laughs about the realities of motherhood which many of us will be familiar with!

Just a warning before we begin: today’s episode contains strong language and mentions postnatal depression and pregnancy loss so if any of these things are triggering for you, please take care while you’re listening. If you’re worried about your own mental health or that of someone you love, visit mentalhealth.org.nz or call 0800 LIFELIFE to seek support.

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In this episode, I speak with Meg Raynor, mum to twin boys Cooper and Theo. Meg openly details her experience with having an emergency c-section when her waters unexpectedly broke at her chiropractor appointment at 31 weeks pregnant. Due to her gestation, she was sent by ambulance to Waikato hospital as she couldn't birth at Tauranga Hospital for the boys were too early.
She shares what it was like having her babies spend two weeks in NICU at Waikato hospital and another six weeks at SCBU in Tauranga Hospital, including what it was like day-in and day-out of having babies in care, being discharged from hospital for the first time without her babies going with her, hand expressing and pumping for her babies for weeks on end, the nerves she felt around breastfeeding for the first time and the milestones the boys needed to reach to go home.
We cover what life was like when they got home in terms of sleep and feeding, and how Meg had a 'breastfeeding holiday' to mimic cluster feeding in order to get the boys breastfeeding from her exclusively and eliminating bottles for top-up feeds of her pumped milk. She speaks candidly about her gradual bonding experience with the boys and how having twins has been for her relationship. Meg also touches on how she feels about her postpartum body, especially in light of her difficulties with restrictive eating and over-exercising in the past, and how she recovered physically from her c-section after consulting a postpartum physio.
When listening to Meg, you’ll hear that despite her considerate, gentle demeanor, when it comes to her babies she’s always been fiercely protective, but in the same sense, I really appreciate her honesty about how she feels when reflecting on her Fourth Trimester. I won’t spoil it for you but I think many of us will echo Meg’s sentiments even if your journey looks different to hers.
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In this episode, I speak with qualified sleep consultant and mother of one, Lucy Burns of The Sleep Scout.
Known as a 'gentle' sleep consultant, I quiz Lucy on the science of newborn sleep and what normal sleep patterns look like for babies in the Fourth Trimester. We cover what it means to have a gentle approach, and when she believes it is a good time is to consider sleep training. The thing I love about Lucy is that she's firm in her opinion that there isn't a one-size-fits-all approach to sleep and is completely supportive of families doing what is right for them and their babies. She's not your stereotypical cry-it-out sleep consultant by any means, and this episode is not intended to encourage sleep training with your newborn. I think you'll find it's quite the opposite!
We talk about why she likes dummies, as well as other positive and negative sleep associations - and she offers great insight into how to best ditch dummies and transition out of swaddles. We discuss the dreaded four-month sleep regression, how this is a progression of a baby's sleep cycles, and cover the difference between self-settling and re-settling.
Whether your baby self-settles, is fed to sleep, rocked to sleep, worn to sleep, patted to sleep, shushed to sleep, cuddled to sleep, or you co-sleeping, you do you mama. I hope everyone who listens finds this episode both comforting and practical.
This episode is not sponsored, I reached out to Lucy myself. But I do use Lucy's guides for my daughter, Albie's routine and when we started following them she began sleeping through the night. Coincidence? I think not! If you'd like to book in for one of Lucy's sleep consultations, visit www.thesleepscout.com and use the code motherness10 for 10% off both standard and express consults until March 12, 2020. You can also email Lucy to purchase her guide and mention this episode for 10% off this as well!
Thanks so much, Lucy!
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Hi, I'm Skye Ross, a mum to my almost one-year-old daughter, Albie and I live on Auckland's North Shore with my partner Mark.
This trailer episode is an introduction to Motherness and our first season, The Fourth Trimester where I'll be interviewing modern mothers with varying stories and experiences of the newborn period, as well as professional experts.
I invite you to join me as I sit down for conversations that are diverse, mindful and above all, exceptionally honest, covering topics related to raising newborn babies and navigating motherhood that are so often missed in antenatal classes. Nothing is off limits on Motherness.
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This week's episode of Motherness is proudly sponsored by Noopii, a New Zealand and women-owned Social Enterprise company making premium eco-luxe nappies and pants that are non-toxic, chemical-free and made with Manuka Hydrosol - a world first. Use the code MOTHERNESS10 to receive 10% off Noopii storewide.
Today's guest is Amy Fraser, a mum who suddenly became a single mother at five months pregnant and uprooted from New York City to move home to New Zealand to have her son.
Today, we talk through that experience in detail and the beginning of her journey as a mother to her son. An initiation that she herself says was traumatic on many accounts but also a time of letting go, moving forward and becoming an even better version of herself than before. While Amy is pretty frank in discussing the emotional turbulence of this time for her, she’s somehow also gracious in acknowledging that the hardships of motherhood are real for all of us.

You’ll hear in this episode that Amy truly is resilience personified and ultimately, that she is a shining example that a mother's love can and will transcend anything.

She is a true heroine. She is wahine toa. This is her story of The Fourth Trimester.
Thank you again to Noopii for sponsoring this week's episode. Visit the Motherness Instagram account to enter our giveaway for a carton of Noopii nappies.
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