Episode 69: BOUNDARIES (Part 3): 10 Signs You Need a Boundary

05/29/23 • 16 min

Envision that your thoughts and emotions are like a building on prime realty. Space is precious and you want to get the most return for your investments. So you are very mindful of who and what you rent out space to in your building.
Sometimes an imbalance happens...one business tries to take over the whole space and another tries to live rent free; sucking your resources without any return...
I am going to list out 10 signs that let you know if a boundary needs to be set to maintain a healthy functioning and thriving building. These emotions arise not because something is bad or good...you might need to set a boundary up with someone you love dearly just as you would with someone you dread sealing with...emotions are just teachers and if one of the following feelings resinates with what you are experiencing today or around a specific relationship, event or circumstance...you know you need to do some boundary work.
The summary of the 10 signs are:
1. You feel burnt out & overwhelmed. You rarely say no.
2. You feel resentful/bitter/angry. You lose your temper. You tend to complain.
3. You feel confused and find it hard to commit and make a decision.
4. You feel powerless. You let people take advantage of you. You struggle knowing who you are and what’s important to you.
5. You feel responsible to do everything. You have a never-ending to-do list.
6. You feel like your needs aren’t as important as other peoples. You struggle to ask for what you need.
7. You feel the need to apologize.
8. You feel responsible for other people’s feelings or you blame others for making YOU feel a certain way.
9. You feel dread that you are going see a person or go to an event etc.
10. You feel the need to escape. You resort to unhealthy coping devices.
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Previous Episode

Episode 68: BOUNDARIES (Part 2): Why We Struggle Setting Healthy Ones.

BOUNDARIES (Part 1): What Are They?
We all struggle with setting healthy boundaries because we are humans experiencing a thousand different exchanges with different circumstances and people. Listening to this podcast once or reading about about boundaries once is not going to be enough to solve all your problems...it needs to be an ongoing conversation and process!
Struggles with boundaries will look different for each of us. Today we talk about four different types of people and how they struggle with setting boundaries. And I will also talk about 6 ways you might be injuring people's boundaries without even realizing it or in a relationship where you are the one being injured in this way.
Bringing more awareness and acknowledgment to boundary problems and injuries are the only way we can move through the hurt, the pain, the discomfort and the dysfunctional cycles and create space for healing and lay the foundation for healthy relationships moving forward.
SO BE REAL WITH YOURSELF.
Listen with an open curious mind...
"Where do I struggle?"
"What ways can I do boundaries better?" and not a...
"I should be ashamed, I am horrible person." or go right to laying on blame and shame. That's not helpful.
Let's learn and grow together!
AND WRITE DOWN YOUR IMPRESSIONS AND THOUGHTS so next week you can start implementing setting healthy boundaries!!
Boundary Problems:
Which resonates with your issues? It might be combination of more than one.

Compliants
Avoidants
Controllers
Nonresponsives

Boundary Injuries:
Do you see yourself unconsciously injuring people you love?
Are you in relationships where these injuries are happening to your boundaries?

Withdrawal from other's boundaries.
Hostility against other's boundaries.
Over control.
Lack of limits.
Inconsistent limits.
Trauma.

Books for reference:
The Book Of Boundaries by Melissa Urban
Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
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Click below to make a one time donation and help "Monday Mindset With ISHA WARRIORS" bring peace & empowerment to more teens all over the world!
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Next Episode

Episode 70: BOUNDARIES (Part 4) How To Set Boundaries That Deepen Relationships

You've noticed the signs that you need to set boundaries and now you are wondering how you do it without destroying the relationships you have. Following these 8 steps will help you navigate the challenging waters of communication!