Grieving The Child You Thought You Would Have, Making Sense Of It All - With Jean Mayer, Brittney Crabtree, Shannon Korza
11/08/21 • 53 min
Ever feel caregiver burnout? Ever feel like you are in a hamster wheel as a caregiver?
Listen to this convo.
Grief isn't linear; it's a wheel of adaptation.
Dr. Nancy Miller, psychologist and social worker, wrote Nobody's Perfect: Living + Growing with Children Who Have Special Needs.
In this book, she worked with four moms over five years and distilled their experiences into one book.
The model is derived from communication with the moms, experience of the working families, the writings of parents and professionals.
"Adaptation" kicks in when we feel robbed of our chance and our Child's chance for living an equal life.
There are four stages, and stick with us as we will dive into each. Think of them like four hemispheres, similar to a Venn diagram nature, constantly shape-shifting through your journey.
The 4 S's: Survival, Searching, Settling In, and Separating are very real and relevant to understanding what we may all be feeling, whether it's exclusively or simultaneously.
Advocacy is a muscle, and this is a journey about endurance.
Hot tips and takeaways from the conversation to ease the distress you as a parent would experience at any of the stages:
- Make time for yourselves, understand your feelings + create a support system.
- Honor yourself as well as validate your feelings.
- Always remain hopeful even when it feels hopeless.
All easier said than done; that is why we are here to offer the support we all have been longing for.
Check us out and say hello
Where to find Moms Talk Autism
Where to find Jody
Where to find Shannon
Where to find Jean
Where to find Tash
Where to find Brittney
Ever feel caregiver burnout? Ever feel like you are in a hamster wheel as a caregiver?
Listen to this convo.
Grief isn't linear; it's a wheel of adaptation.
Dr. Nancy Miller, psychologist and social worker, wrote Nobody's Perfect: Living + Growing with Children Who Have Special Needs.
In this book, she worked with four moms over five years and distilled their experiences into one book.
The model is derived from communication with the moms, experience of the working families, the writings of parents and professionals.
"Adaptation" kicks in when we feel robbed of our chance and our Child's chance for living an equal life.
There are four stages, and stick with us as we will dive into each. Think of them like four hemispheres, similar to a Venn diagram nature, constantly shape-shifting through your journey.
The 4 S's: Survival, Searching, Settling In, and Separating are very real and relevant to understanding what we may all be feeling, whether it's exclusively or simultaneously.
Advocacy is a muscle, and this is a journey about endurance.
Hot tips and takeaways from the conversation to ease the distress you as a parent would experience at any of the stages:
- Make time for yourselves, understand your feelings + create a support system.
- Honor yourself as well as validate your feelings.
- Always remain hopeful even when it feels hopeless.
All easier said than done; that is why we are here to offer the support we all have been longing for.
Check us out and say hello
Where to find Moms Talk Autism
Where to find Jody
Where to find Shannon
Where to find Jean
Where to find Tash
Where to find Brittney
Previous Episode
Accepting the Child You Have - With Brittney Crabtree, Jody Warshawsky, Tash Dillmon, Jean Mayer, Shannon Korza
If you have ever or currently been depressed, this is a great episode to listen to dial into different perspectives and times depression has hit other parents walking the autism parenting journey.
Depression can be really sneaky sometimes. It can also be a very heavy topic. Here are some signs + symptoms how it may present or manifest:
`Persistent feelings of sadness + hopelessness
`Anxiety + Irritability
`Sleeping to much or too little
`Loss of interest in activities that were once enjoyable
`Difficulty concentrating, making decisions + remembering things
`Low energy + fatigue
`Thoughts or talk of Suicide
Some others not so quickly correlated but to be considered:
`Temporary Mood Boosts
`Significant Weight gain or loss
`Increase appetite
`Heavy Feeling in arms + legs
`Body aches or headaches
`Insomnia or extended sleep
`Extreme negative response to perceived criticism or rejection
It's important to recognize when you need help. Know that medication is okay if it is prescribed + doesn't mean you are a terrible parent. It means you are a great one because you are willing to take whatever steps necessary to support your child. Depression is a real disorder, even in the absence of grief, some of us are easily predisposed to experiencing it more than others. When symptoms are lasting longer than a week, reflect and see what you might need to put in place or in play to take care of yourself.
We love you + we want you to love yourselves just as much!
Next Episode
What I Wish I'd Known In The Beginning of My Childs Autism Journey - With Shannon Korza, Jean Mayer, Jody Warshawsky, Tash Dillmon
I'm sure you've said, "I wish I would've known.." many times. We have. That's why we decided to have a whole episode on it! We're sharing things that we wish we had known from the beginning. Talking about family & friends, services, diagnosis & more.
When we start this journey of autism with our families, we are sorta thrust into a lifestyle that we have no clue how to navigate. There are so many things that we are focusing on. One foot in front of the other. Trying to manage everything, including our emotions, and navigate the world with our new reality. Amid all that, lessons we are learning that we wish we would have known BEFORE they hit.
"I wish I'd known ______." That's what we'll be talking about today!
Check us out and say hello
Where to find Moms Talk Autism
Where to find Jody
Where to find Shannon
Where to find Jean
Where to find Tash
Where to find Brittney
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