Mindshifting

Working with emotions can be scary, and we are taught to suppress our feelings in order to work in organizations. We can learn the science of emotions in order to tap into their power.

Emotional intelligence (or EI) is the ability to use the information in emotions to make decisions and reach goals. Because leadership involves working through others, it is not surprising that EI is more predictive of leadership success than IQ or personality characteristics.

These skills ​​underlie the MindShift from Self-Awareness to Interpersonal Awareness. Interpersonal awareness allows you to communicate, negotiate, and influence effectively, as well as build strong relationships and create effective teams.

Experiment: Understanding and Using Feelings

1. Labeling emotions and letting them shift
2. Using breathing and meditation to work with feelings
3. Moving from meaning to action--deciding what to do with your feelings
4. Practicing principles of assertive communication

Experiment: Empathy and Emotional Attunement

Using non-verbal cues to track and read emotions.

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We can build true self-confidence from the inside out by cultivating self-acceptance. We undermine our sense of self-worth by trying to measure ourselves by external benchmarks and trying to cultivate self-esteem: how much money do we make, what is our position in the hierarchy, are we getting a lot of recognition and approval, and do we have more or less than those around us? This outcome orientation makes us worried about evaluation and potential failure, and so we are vulnerable to worry and psyching ourselves out, both in sports and in work. We can complement this by a process orientation, which is about how we are learning, getting better at our work and enjoying our activities. This approach helps us feel good about ourselves and the journey, and is the key to cultivating self-acceptance. We can’t control outcomes, but we can control how we focus on feelings, experience and process.

Self-esteem is vulnerable to outcomes we don’t control in four areas:

1. Stuff
2. Status & Approval
3. Accomplishment
4. Fantasy

Self-acceptance is solid and sustainable, and is based on four factors:

1. Alignment with our values and purpose
2. Self-compassion
3. Self-regulation
4. Opening to reality

Experiment: We can replace Worrying with Planning, and free ourselves from unproductive and draining anxiety.

Experiment: Getting into Flow—we can learn to ‘get in the zone’ and temporarily drop our focus on outcomes.

Experiment: Befriending ourselves is the practice of supporting, trusting, taking care of and loving ourselves.

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The first task in forming a team is to figure out where are you all going, in other words, to identify a shared goal. Leading the team is about managing the team’s attention so everyone is focused on how to support and achieve that goal. To do this you must clearly articulate the team’s direction and regularly communicate about the goal.

Experiment: Roles & Responsibilities Charting

A simple technique for accomplishing this is to create a roles and responsibilities chart.

Experiment: High Performing Team Survey

This tool helps team members assess and then close gaps regarding how well the team is functioning on a number of dimensions:

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We face information overload and new demands coming at us from all directions. We can overcome the challenges of our frenetic modern life and work. I introduce mindful leadership and invite you to stop, reflect and focus. Doing this enables you to learn from the inside out. I explain the concept of Mindshifting--how to focus to do our jobs more effectively--and how we can learn to lead by focusing and paying attention to specific cues. I outline the book’s organization so you can use it to guide your development: key components are positive habits, managing technology and experiments to practice new skills. I explain the dangers of multitasking and the nature of attention, and provide the research basis for this approach to leadership.

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We need challenge to learn and perform at our best. But when there is too much we get overwhelmed. Our fight or flight responses get activated, reducing our flexibility and ability to think clearly. Chronic stress wears down our bodies and leaves us vulnerable to a wide variety of mental and physical illnesses.

We can become better at managing stress with a set of focused strategies. One key is our experience of autonomy and control over our lives and work. Another key is increasing our access to feedback. Mindfulness can unlock both of these keys.

Experiment: Identifying Sources of Stress

We think of stress as coming at us from external pressures, but a lot of our stress comes from how we think about things. It can help to separate out where our stress is coming from and objectively label each source.

The most important ways to work with stress, and to build your leadership skills, fall into six categories of Mindful Leadership — Spirit, Mind, Emotion, Body, Connecting, and Inspiring. I outline my Top 100 of favorite strategies for you to build a plan to increase your resilience.

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