Mindful Sobriety The Podcast

Summary

In this episode, Jane explores the concept of connection and how it relates to changing one's relationship with alcohol. She discusses the reasons why people drink and the desire for connection that often underlies it. Jane share's Brene Brown's definition of connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued. She also explores the traits of openness and how they contribute to greater cognitive flexibility, connection with others, and overall well-being. Jane emphasizes the importance of cultivating openness, listening to understand, and practicing acceptance in order to foster meaningful connections.

Takeaways

• People often drink to achieve a sense of connection, whether it's social connection or connection with a partner or potential partner.
• Connection is a basic human need, and it is essential for our well-being and overall health.
• Openness is a trait that contributes to greater cognitive flexibility, curiosity, and the ability to celebrate diversity.
• Cultivating openness involves knowing your thinking patterns, listening to understand, and practicing acceptance.
• Fostering meaningful connections requires being accessible, responsive, and engaged in relationships, as well as being willing to apologize and repair ruptures.
• Removing substances from your life, such as alcohol, can lead to a deeper understanding of yourself, self-compassion, and the ability to trust yourself without relying on substances.

Chapters

00:00
Introduction and Reflecting on Reasons for Drinking

02:12
Alcohol's Role in Connection and the Paradox of Alcohol-Free Living

07:30
The Importance of Connection for Introverts and the Epidemic of Loneliness

13:46
Cultivating Openness and Knowing Your Thinking Patterns

23:51
Fostering Meaningful Connections and Repairing Ruptures

26:12
Removing Substances for Self-Exploration and Growth

If you have any questions or comments, I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to reach out to me. My email is [email protected] or DM me on Instagram @janewballard. I love talking about connection and the unexpected joy of connecting with other people on this alcohol free path, as well as people who are interested in really getting to know themselves. If you are wanting to grow as a human and if you're really wanting to know yourself well, the fastest way you can do that is to remove substances from your life.

Postpartum depression, mommy wine culture, the darker side of social drinking, blackouts, marriage, grief and recovering from all of the above - we covered SO MANY important topics that are relevant to living and raising kids in today's high pressure culture.
Jane sits down with Kristi Tanner (AKA Mocktail Mommy on Instagram) and explore Kristi's transformative journey from addiction to sobriety, detailing the pivotal moments that led her to ask for help and the challenges she faced along the way. From her decision to check herself into treatment to the struggles of motherhood and the impact of cultural attitudes towards alcohol, Kristi's story is one of resilience and empowerment. She emphasizes the importance of community, honesty, and self-acceptance in the recovery process, ultimately leading to the recent grand opening of her non-alcoholic bottle shop, Sober Social, in Madison, Wisconsin.

KEY POINTS

• The decision to change can be life-altering.
• Transformational experiences can provide clarity and direction.
• Cultural attitudes towards alcohol can influence personal choices.
• Motherhood can complicate one's relationship with alcohol.
• Sobriety requires navigating complex family dynamics.
• Facing challenges can lead to personal growth and resilience.
• Community support is crucial in the recovery journey.
• Honesty and openness can help combat shame and stigma.
• Building a new life after addiction is possible.
• Empowering others through shared experiences is vital.

Are you inspired by what you've been learning on Mindful Sobriety The Podcast? We'd love the opportunity to meet you in person at one of our upcoming retreats! There's still a few spots available for Living Your Purpose: Simplified Bali Retreat! Secure your spot today! Mention this episode for a $400 discount when you sign up by November 15! You'll find all the details here!

Follow @janewballard and @dfwyogagirl on Instagram to stay in touch! And as always, be sure to rate, review and subscribe so we can continue to spread our message far and wide. We are so incredibly grateful for the support of our listeners!

Kristi Tanner is a dedicated advocate for sober living and community inclusion, passionately leading the way with her venture in Madison, WI, Sober Social. Founded with the mission to bridge the gap between sobriety and society, Sober Social is the only nonalcholic bottle shop in Wisconsin offering a welcoming space for those seeking healthier alternatives to traditional alcoholic beverages. With an extensive selection of non-alcoholic beers, wines, spirits, and functional drinks, this inviting, boutique shop aims to redefine social gatherings, ensuring that everyone can enjoy camaraderie without the pressure to drink. Sober Social offers tasting nights, mocktail making classes, and private events.

As a single mother of four, Kristi draws from her personal journey of recovery to create an inclusive environment where individuals—whether sober-curious, in recovery, or simply exploring healthier choices—can feel empowered to socialize. Her commitment to this cause is evident in her transparent sharing of her own experiences with alcohol addiction and recovery on her Instagram account, @mocktailmommy.

Kristi's path to founding Sober Social was marked by her certification as a recovery coach and her graduation from Sans Bar Academy, which solidified her resolve to make a meaningful impact in the lives of others. Through Sober Social, she is not only providing a diverse range of non-alcoholic options but also fostering a sense of belonging and community, proving that choosing sobriety doesn’t mean sacrificing social connection. Join Kristi and Sober Social in transforming the way we approach socializing—one NA beverage at a time.

In this conversation, Kati shares her journey with alcohol, starting from her early days of drinking in high school and college. She discusses the social consequences and the role alcohol played in her relationships. Kati also talks about her experiences with anxiety and depression and how drinking made things worse. She shares how she attempted to moderate her drinking but ultimately realized she needed to make a change. Katie sought treatment and reflects on the perception of treatment as a sign of weakness. Overall, her story highlights the challenges and complexities of alcohol use and the cultural perceptions around alcohol use. The conversation explores the stigma and stereotypes associated with treatment, highlighting the hard work and healing involved. The benefits of treatmentThe changing landscape of sobriety and the availability of alternative support options beyond AA are discussed. The Sober Curious Movement and the view that alcohol is the problem, not the individual, is examined. The conversation concludes with advice for those in early sobriety, including focusing on what is gained and finding support and accountability. In this conversation, Kati shares her experience of building authentic friendships, shifting priorities, finding fun in sobriety, and the inspiration and hope that comes with recovery.

Takeaways

• Alcohol can become a normalized part of socializing, especially in certain cultures or communities.
• Early consequences of drinking, such as social anxiety, can contribute to a pattern of excessive drinking.
• Alcohol can provide temporary relief from anxiety and social pressures, but it can also exacerbate mental health concerns.
• Seeking support and treatment is a sign of courage, not weakness
• Support from spouses and family members is crucial in the recovery process.
• The landscape of sobriety is changing, with alternative support options beyond AA becoming more prevalent.
• Alcohol is a problematic substance, and anyone can experience negative consequences from its use.
• Focus on what is gained in sobriety and the benefits it brings to relationships and personal growth. Building authentic friendships takes time, but the relationships formed are often more meaningful and supportive.
• As priorities shift, activities that were once centered around alcohol may be replaced with new, more fulfilling choices.

00:00 Introduction and Childhood Friendship
02:08 Early Years of Drinking
06:10 Alcohol's Effects and Social Consequences
09:04 Alcohol in College
13:06 Alcohol and Depression
16:06 Alcohol in Early Marriage
19:16 Stuck in Hawaii and Drinking Patterns
24:21 Recognizing the Problem
29:37 Seeking Treatment
32:03 Perceptions of Treatment
33:25 Overcoming Stigma and Stereotypes
34:11 The Benefits of Treatment
35:35 Different Approaches to Treatment
36:18 Support from Spouse and Family
38:37 Changing Landscape of Sobriety
39:31 AA Meetings and Sponsorship
41:50 Continuing Support and Accountability
43:10 Alcohol's Role in Society
47:53 The Sober Curious Movement
50:21 Defining Alcoholism and Alcohol Use Disorder
52:13 Focus on What You Gain
57:51 Advice for Early Sobriety
01:05:11 Building Authentic Friendships
01:06:23 Shifting Priorities
01:07:31 Finding Fun in Sobriety
01:09:00 Inspiration and Hope
01:09:53 The Sober Curious Movement

Jane, Amanda and Renn discuss Renn's childhood and the journey she went through to find her identity. Renn grew up in a close-knit family and had a strong sense of belonging. However, in middle school, she started questioning her identity and wanted to discover who she truly was. This led her down a path of trying to find belonging and meaning through partying and risky behavior. Wren's journey eventually led her to a breaking point where she realized she needed help and decided to go to treatment. She reflects on the importance of loyalty and the unhealthy relationships she formed during her teenage years. Wren also discusses the fear of letting go of her double life and starting over. Overall, her story highlights the struggles of finding oneself and the importance of seeking help and building healthy relationships. The conversation highlights the journey of recovery and finding peace after addiction. It emphasizes the importance of effort and the belief that things will get better. The speakers discuss the process of healing, self-acceptance, and the power of making choices. They also touch on the significance of support from loved ones and the value of vulnerability. The conversation concludes with reflections on the present and the appreciation for the progress made.

Takeaways

• Childhood experiences and relationships can shape one's sense of identity and belonging.
• Middle school is a time when many individuals start questioning their identity and seek to find their own path.
• Engaging in risky behavior can be a way to find belonging and mask pain, but it often leads to negative and dark places.
• Seeking help and going through treatment can be a turning point in finding a healthier and more fulfilling life.
• The fear of letting go of unhealthy relationships and starting over can be a significant barrier to personal growth.
• Building healthy relationships based on mutual support and acceptance is essential for personal well-being. Life can look dark, but with effort, things will get better.
• Self-acceptance and peace come from acknowledging and learning from past choices.
• Support from loved ones is crucial in the recovery journey.
• Vulnerability and repairing relationships are key to healing.
• Progress, not perfection, is the goal.
• Believe that you are worth the effort and ask for help.

Chapters

00:00
Childhood and Early Influences

02:39
Questioning Identity in Middle School

04:52
The Pursuit of Euphoria and Numbing Pain

08:39
Reaching a Breaking Point

12:36
Starting Over and Seeking Help

16:48
Building Healthy Relationships and Redefining Loyalty

22:36
Finding Peace and Self-Acceptance

26:47
Knowing It's Going to Be Okay

29:56
Life's Ups and Downs

33:25
The Unraveling of a Double Life

37:03
Embracing Self-Worth

38:57
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In this conversation, Mark J McBride shares his journey of growing up in Philadelphia, his struggles with addiction, and the importance of self-compassion in recovery. He reflects on his upbringing, the impact of addiction on his life, and the lessons learned through his experiences. Mark emphasizes the significance of self-acceptance and the need to be kind to oneself, especially during challenging times. He also discusses his aspirations for the future and the importance of embracing one's uniqueness.
Keywords

addiction, recovery, self-compassion, personal growth, sobriety, life lessons, overcoming challenges, self-judgment, future aspirations, Philadelphia

Takeaways

• Mark grew up in a working-class neighborhood in Philadelphia.
• Addiction often starts innocently but can escalate quickly.
• Self-judgment can hinder personal growth and recovery.
• Sobriety is a sprint, but recovery is a marathon.
• Self-compassion is crucial for overcoming addiction.
• Mark's experiences highlight the importance of intentions versus actions.
• He learned to make amends to himself before others.
• The journey of recovery involves acknowledging past mistakes.
• Mark aspires to work in real estate on the Gulf Coast.
• It's okay to be different and embrace one's uniqueness.

Titles

• Navigating Life: Mark's Journey Through Addiction
• From Philadelphia to Recovery: A Personal Story

Sound Bites

• "Self-compassion is key to recovery."
• "You can’t live in shame and guilt."
• "It's okay to be different."

Chapters

00:00
Introduction and Icebreakers

02:54
Growing Up in Philadelphia

05:52
The Impact of Addiction

12:07
Navigating Recovery and Self-Compassion

19:15
Future Aspirations and Advice to Younger Self

28:08
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28:31
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