Men Like That

Quarantine can do crazy things to people. For example, we accidentally give some halfway decent advice on this episode. We’re not sure how it happened and we may have been in a fugue state while giving the advice, but it happens.

Also, fair warning we get into some pretty tech-savvy/hacker jargon on this episode. What can we say? We’re a bunch of nerds who love nothing more than fiddling with computers, TVs, and the information highway known as Facebook. So get your favorite mainframe, stay inside, and get ready for another classic episode.

First things first, let’s get this all out of the way. STAY INSIDE. DO NOT BE DUMB. Here at Men Like That we are all about safety, especially the safety of our loyal listeners and most devoted fans. We love you almost as much as you love us. So be safe, stay inside, and listen to your favorite episodes of MLT.

Okay secondly and we cannot stress this enough, if you ever try to troll us you will surely fail. We are the ones who troll. Look at us, look at our faces... we are the trolls. Enjoy this week’s episode and god bless.

Recording from home has given us an insight to the magic Hamburger Bank that resides in Brandon's room. Can you eat it? Can you put money on it? Can you do both? We will not be answering any of these questions. Instead we will talk bout how Australians order breakfast, take a trip on the Magic School Bus and have a chat with the founders of Harry's Razors.

Be safe, wash your hands, stay home if possible and fire up the latest episode of MLT - it is time to (not) talk about the Hamburger bank.

It’s finally here. The episode where we get down and dirty and talk about slugs. That’s right, our most requested subject is finally being discussed. Sometimes when the three of us are walking down the street we’ll get stopped by a rabid MLT fan and they always ask the same thing: “where’s that juicy slug talk, boys?”

But it’s not all slug talk on this episode. No no, we also get down to business. The business boys are back and ready to give you some hot tips to help you get that money you need to buy the things you crave. Strap in and listen up!

There’s nothing like sitting down for a big, juicy steak dinner after a hard day of doing business with the boys. You rocked the stocks all day, brought home the bacon, and even also brought home some other food to accompany the bacon because eating only bacon is barbaric — not to mention the carbon emissions that result from the production of bacon, as if that weren’t enough to dissuade you from continually bringing home an insulting amount of bacon on a daily basis.

Your therapist and case-worker are watching you closely via the grocery store security system which the manager has allowed for as he has a son going through the same thing — it really hits home for him. You’ve been instructed to not eat or purchase bacon anymore, a cold-turkey (no pun intended) approach to reducing your footprint on Mother Gaia, as instructed by your case-worker. Your therapist is there because she’s morbidly fascinated by your affliction and, honestly, had nothing better to do.

You’re in the freezer section. The store manager, your shrink, and your case-worker, Gerald, all watch with bated breath as you face your inner-most demon: cured pork. Will you grab a package of Oscar Meyer frozen bacon? Or, will you head for the Morning Star aisle and grab something more environmentally sustainable. This is the moment. You’re entire life has been building toward this singular life-decision. Can you exhibit the necessary willpower to save yourself, nature, and your eldest daughter (I didn’t mention any of this, but she’s being held hostage and the captor said he’ll free her if you stop eating bacon and pork products in general). What will it be?

Twist ending: You collapse before you can make a decision because you’re also a disgusting cigarette smoker and all of those years of smoking have finally caught up with you. But the doctor’s performed miracle lung surgery by replacing your disgusting lungs with the lungs of the closest genetic species to our own: pigs. You now have bacon lungs. You smirk and reel in your hospital bed at the hubris of it all. Then, as if God wanted to show you his sense of humor, the nurse wheels in your breakfast. A big ol’ pile of eggs and, that’s right folks, bacon. The case-worker, your therapist, and the grocery store manager all watch on the hospital security cameras as you stand on the precipice of the most important decision of your life.

What’ll it be? Listen to our show to find out.