Measures of Gratitude

Like most human emotions, gratitude has a connotation of being intangible. But in fact, it’s not just a ‘nice to have’ in our lives. It’s a necessity. And the impact that it has on the human condition can be measured.

In this debut episode of Measures of Gratitude, we speak with Emiliana Simon-Thomas, the Science Director at the Greater Good Science Center.

Here are some of the highlights:

• Gratitude is an emotion that comes with a sense of reciprocity – When someone contributes to our welfare, it increases our desire and motivation to contribute to their well-being in the future.
• Rather than simply an “aspirational virtue,” gratitude is an “evolved quality of human mental life” – When we recognize that others can do good, that benefits us – and compels us to do good in return.
• People who are more grateful are happier – and their lives are better – People who score higher on a measure of gratitude feel better, are less disturbed by everyday hassles, and experience fewer physical and physiological issues.
• Gratitude is the first building block toward creating a better company – When a company practices gratitude, employees are more inspired, less stressed, build more meaningful relationships, develop trust, and turn into better leaders.

In the final episode, CNBC Senior Personal Finance Correspondent Sharon Epperson shares how she overcame personal challenges and redefined her work through gratitude, communication, and the interplay between the two.

Highlights:

• Burnout is real and a significant mental health challenge for many. When employees feel they’re doing the best job they can, yet their efforts are not being seen or appreciated, they often just give up.
• Gratitude in the workplace doesn’t happen often enough. “A simple ‘thank you’ can go a long way because – all too often – no one ever says it,” noted Sharon.
• Yes, employees should be thanked – just for doing their job. Your employees are people who may be dealing with a sick child, a fender bender, or a flooded basement – yet they still continue to do their work.
• Your personal life will be a part of your professional life. Sharon reminds employers to “keep in mind what people are leaving behind as they come to work.”
• Gratitude enabled her return to work possible. The gratitude her company showed her enabled her to return in a way that allowed her to do her job, but at the pace and the level she could handle.
• Be your true, authentic self at work. “Just be authentic. It’s important to be who you are. And be proud of that.”
• It’s important to connect with co-workers on a “real level.” “Everyone is going through something,” noted Sharon. “So to say ‘thank you’ goes such a long way.”

NOTES:

• Follow Sharon Epperson on Twitter.
• Sharon's book.

In the debut episode last week, Emiliana Simon-Thomas – an expert on the key roles that social connection, support, and belonging play in well-being – took us on a deep dive into the meaning and impact that gratitude has on our work and personal lives.

This week, Elizabeth Stokoe, professor of social interaction at Loughborough University in the U.K., explores the pivotal role communication plays in fueling gratitude in our day-to-day interactions.

The highlights:

• Effective communicators think about the person with whom they are communicating in a process called recipient design.
• Rapport is the outcome of an encounter, not something you can build with small talk.
• Though each is unique, our conversations tend to hit similar waymarks along the way. Like someone walking their dog around the block. Sometimes the dog stops at different places, but the general path is the same.
• Choosing words carefully should be a fundamental part of an organization’s culture because there is no positive alternative.
• There’s no clear line between actions, talk, behavior, and language. They're all entangled as one.
• How you say “thanks” matters especially as thanks has merely become shorthand for the end of a conversation in many instances.

LINKS:

Elizabeth's work at Loughborough University

Liz Stokoe on Twitter

Conversation Analytic Role-play Method (CARM)

Elizabeth's first book Talk: The Science of Conversation

Elizabeth's second book: Crisis Talk: Negotiating with Individuals in Crisis

In this episode, we explore how gratitude can have a profound and far-reaching impact in the workplace – and how it extends to enrich a person’s entire life. As guest and associate professor at University of Massachusetts Emily Heaphy sees it, “If you think about a company that is really embracing recognition, gratitude, and appreciation, they can bring that home to their families, loved ones, and friends – and cause a ripple effect.”

Here are some of the highlights from Episode 3:

• Positive feedback is the antidote to negative self-stereotyping. Emily never thought of herself as a leader until positive feedback changed her perspective. “What’s so exciting about the process of getting affirmative stories from multiple people is that it can redirect you just a little bit,” she observed. “And over time, that slight redirection can have a big impact.”
• People underestimate the effect gratitude has on others. As a result, many people are less likely to express gratitude to others. Emily’s current research highlights the “relational and psychological complexity of compliments and gratitude.” In her class, she has her students perform acts of kindness – while self-reflecting on what they are grateful for.
• Gratitude enriches a person’s whole life – not just their work life. Just as employees can carry stress outside of work, they can likewise carry the positive energy of gratitude beyond their work life. As Emily sees it, “If you think about a company that is really embracing recognition, gratitude, and appreciation, they can bring that home to their families, loved ones, and friends – and cause a ripple effect.”
• Effective feedback is grounded in hope and optimism. In Emily’s view, “in order to be receptive to ways that we are being asked to change, we also need to have a sense of hope and optimism.” Emily believes it’s about being confident in your ability to achieve great things. “If you’re feeling valued, it’s easier to take in and consider feedback.”
• Emotions are “part and parcel of everything we do.” “Emotions can teach us a lot about what we think, feel, and should be talking about at work,” noted Emily. “I think that self-awareness – the ability to see how our own emotions, and those of others, affect us – is incredibly important. If one can develop good self-awareness, it can be a superpower at work.”
• Being comfortable with both positive and negative emotions is a powerful force. “All relationships experience conflict,” Emily observed. “All organizations experience conflict.” That’s why being comfortable with conflict is extremely powerful. It enables you to help others work through difficult emotions and moments, and, in that way, is a gift to others.

LINKS

Emily's Work

www.emilyheaphy.com

"How to Play to Your Strengths" - Harvard Business Review

Emily's work at UMass Amherst

Elizabeth's Work

Elizabeth's work at Loughborough University

Liz Stokoe on Twitter

Conversation Analytic Role-play Method (CARM)

Elizabeth's first book Talk: The Science of Conversation

Elizabeth's second book: Crisis Talk: Negotiating with Individuals in Crisis

Emiliana's Work

Emiliana's Work at the Greater Good Science Center

Emiliana's featured work at the Center for Building a Culture for Empathy