Ep 355 Dr. Ellyn Bader and Dr. Peter Pearson

01/14/25 • 50 min

1 Listener

In this first special episode of "So I Married a Relationship Expert", Zach and Laura sit down with Dr. Ellyn Bader and Dr. Peter Pearson, co-founders of The Couples Institute. This conversation dives deep into the dynamics of relationships, focusing on the developmental stages of couples therapy, the power of differentiation, and essential skills to strengthen partnerships. Known for pioneering the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy, Ellyn and Peter share invaluable insights into managing differences, fostering curiosity, and cultivating long-term relationship growth.

Topics discussed include:

The unique journey of Ellyn and Peter, from their chance meeting to building a thriving partnership and business.
Key relationship stages, including the often-overlooked "differentiation stage."
How curiosity and resilience are fundamental to a healthy, growing relationship.
The transformative power of mini-intensives and two-day intensives for couples, especially for entrepreneur couples.
Practical exercises for couples to manage conflict, deepen understanding, and support each other's dreams.

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Topics discussed include:

The unique journey of Ellyn and Peter, from their chance meeting to building a thriving partnership and business.
Key relationship stages, including the often-overlooked "differentiation stage."
How curiosity and resilience are fundamental to a healthy, growing relationship.
The transformative power of mini-intensives and two-day intensives for couples, especially for entrepreneur couples.
Practical exercises for couples to manage conflict, deepen understanding, and support each other's dreams.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Previous Episode

Ep 354 Going Solo

Zach embarks on a new chapter as the solo host of the podcast following Laura’s departure. Reflecting on the past seven years, Zach expresses gratitude for the journey and shares his excitement for the future. He introduces fresh ideas, including new interviews, experimental formats, and thought-provoking content, all designed to continue the mission of helping listeners think differently about relationships while offering practical tools for growth.

Zach also outlines his vision for the podcast’s future, emphasizing his commitment to creating valuable and engaging content. He reflects on his own relationship, drawing on personal experiences to explore themes of growth, intentionality, and adaptation in partnerships. With humor, sincerity, and a forward-thinking perspective, this episode marks the beginning of a new era for Marriage Therapy Radio.

Key Takeaways

The Transition to a New Era
Zach acknowledges Laura’s departure and shares his determination to continue the podcast’s mission of fostering insight and connection.
He outlines upcoming content, including interviews with relationship experts and personal conversations with couples navigating marriage.
The Philosophy of "I Never Thought About It That Way Before"
Zach emphasizes the importance of encouraging listeners to see relationships in fresh and surprising ways.
He recounts a recent marathon therapy session where this approach helped a couple gain new perspectives on their partnership.
Practical Tools for Relationship Growth
Zach shares three foundational principles for building healthy relationships:

Do more of what your partner likes and less of what they don’t.
Ask for what you want and practice gratitude when you get it—or adaptability when you don’t.
Focus on self-improvement and show up as your best self in the relationship.

What’s Ahead for the Podcast
Zach teases upcoming content, including interviews with couples, collaborative “boat night” episodes, and a three-week series with a therapist specializing in complex trauma.
He invites listener feedback and encourages support through Patreon to help sustain the podcast’s growth.
A Message of Gratitude
Zach thanks listeners for their continued support and acknowledges the unique dedication it takes to invest in relationships and personal growth.

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Next Episode

Ep 356 Drs. Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D.

In this episode of So I Married a Relationship Expert, Zach and Laura get personal with Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt—relationship experts who don’t just teach about marriage, they live it. Get ready for an intimate look at the ups and downs of their own marriage. Spoiler: it wasn’t all smooth sailing!

Harville and Helen open up about the times they nearly got divorced—twice! At one point, they even had divorce papers ready to go. But what saved them? They teach couples the very same techniques around the world. You’ll hear how a random trip to a bookstore and a “zero negativity” experiment helped them find their way back to each other. Helen also shares a funny story about trying to "fix" Harville by reorganizing his books and closet—only to realize she was driving him crazy!

From learning to approach frustrations with curiosity instead of criticism to recommitting in a powerful New Year’s Eve ceremony, their journey is full of relatable moments and inspiring takeaways. It’s a beautiful reminder that even experts have to work on their relationships, just like the rest of us.

What You’ll Learn:

How Harville and Helen used their own tools to avoid divorce—twice!
The story of their “zero negativity” pact and how it transformed their relationship.
Why curiosity and asking your partner the right questions can change everything.
The power of recommitment—even after decades together.

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