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LOVERS by shan - Help! Should I Leave Him or Double Down on Loving Him? feat. Tee

Help! Should I Leave Him or Double Down on Loving Him? feat. Tee

07/20/22 • 42 min

1 Listener

LOVERS by shan

Tee aka HiMyNamesTee Tee is in a 12-year on and off relationship with her first love and first sexual partner that she feels equal parts hope and despair towards. Should she stay in feeling as though she's with her soul mate and twin flame OR run in knowing that she's tried so hard for so long and still...
Follow Shan

http://instagram.com/shanboody

Call in to the show to leave a voice note
‪(323) 375-4797
[email protected]
Follow the guests on this episode

Tee
Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/himynamestee

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/himynamesteee/

Music: https://open.spotify.com/artist/5cdrxr9s52oZCf78xOLa4R

Here is the exercise Tee and I did together:

Section One Framing - tell the story of why you should stay and why you should go
Section Two - tell me the things that make you love you. Things that make you a positive, motivating force within your own life:

1) Can you currently approach growth and your outlook on the future from a place of worthiness?
2) Who are you, at your current best?

3) What parts of yourself do you want to protect at all cost?

4) What is your vision for your future?
5) What do you need to be happy in order to give yourself the best shot at making this vision a reality?

Section Three - answering the hard questions
1) If you had to sum up your relationship in one word, it would be?

2) Is this a familiar pattern?

3) When I think about the future of my relationship, I typically feel?

4) Are you your optimal self when you’re with your partner?

5) Do you feel appreciated by your partner?

6) In a dream world scenario, what’s the ideal relationship that you’d like to have with your partner?

7) In the real world, given what you know so far, what kind of relationship is possible, today

8) Have you tried hard enough in this relationship?

9) Should it be this much work?

10) If you had a son or daughter you deeply loved, would you want them to be in a relationship with someone like the person you are with right now?

11) How will my life change without this person?

12) How could my life change for the better with this person in it?

13) What haven’t I learned from this relationship?

14) If I could get an email from myself ten years from now, what advice might it have?

15) If this is all there is, will it be enough?

16) How often do you fight with your partner?

18) Do you ever wish that you were in a relationship with someone else?

Section Four
I pulled those prompts from this research article https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1948550617722834
You can also find a table of the prompts here in this article https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/experimentations/201708/how-do-we-decide-whether-or-not-break

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Tee aka HiMyNamesTee Tee is in a 12-year on and off relationship with her first love and first sexual partner that she feels equal parts hope and despair towards. Should she stay in feeling as though she's with her soul mate and twin flame OR run in knowing that she's tried so hard for so long and still...
Follow Shan

http://instagram.com/shanboody

Call in to the show to leave a voice note
‪(323) 375-4797
[email protected]
Follow the guests on this episode

Tee
Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/himynamestee

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/himynamesteee/

Music: https://open.spotify.com/artist/5cdrxr9s52oZCf78xOLa4R

Here is the exercise Tee and I did together:

Section One Framing - tell the story of why you should stay and why you should go
Section Two - tell me the things that make you love you. Things that make you a positive, motivating force within your own life:

1) Can you currently approach growth and your outlook on the future from a place of worthiness?
2) Who are you, at your current best?

3) What parts of yourself do you want to protect at all cost?

4) What is your vision for your future?
5) What do you need to be happy in order to give yourself the best shot at making this vision a reality?

Section Three - answering the hard questions
1) If you had to sum up your relationship in one word, it would be?

2) Is this a familiar pattern?

3) When I think about the future of my relationship, I typically feel?

4) Are you your optimal self when you’re with your partner?

5) Do you feel appreciated by your partner?

6) In a dream world scenario, what’s the ideal relationship that you’d like to have with your partner?

7) In the real world, given what you know so far, what kind of relationship is possible, today

8) Have you tried hard enough in this relationship?

9) Should it be this much work?

10) If you had a son or daughter you deeply loved, would you want them to be in a relationship with someone like the person you are with right now?

11) How will my life change without this person?

12) How could my life change for the better with this person in it?

13) What haven’t I learned from this relationship?

14) If I could get an email from myself ten years from now, what advice might it have?

15) If this is all there is, will it be enough?

16) How often do you fight with your partner?

18) Do you ever wish that you were in a relationship with someone else?

Section Four
I pulled those prompts from this research article https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1948550617722834
You can also find a table of the prompts here in this article https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/experimentations/201708/how-do-we-decide-whether-or-not-break

Previous Episode

undefined - Soul Mates or Settling? The Friends to Lovers Story feat. Ezee and Natalie

Soul Mates or Settling? The Friends to Lovers Story feat. Ezee and Natalie

Can genuine friends truly transition into longterm romantic and sexual partners? Is it more ideal to gradually walk into love WITH someone who’s already your best friend OR fall in love and then become best friends?

According to a 2021 study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science finds that two thirds of romantic couples started out in a platonic relationship. Yes, 68% reported that their current romantic relationship began as a friendship! And the rate of friends to lovers was even higher among 20 somethings and within the LGBTQ+ communities with 85% reported that their relationship began as a friendship. And more interestingly I think, only 30% said they were sexually attracted to the partner from the very beginning.

You might be like, why is this so shocking to you and it’s because in essence our generation might be rewriting the traditionally understood blueprint for forming romantic bonds.

This is what we discuss with guests Ezee and Natalie, two comedic-content creators turned collaborators turned best friends turned lovers, who have shared every part of their journey online and thus have sparked a lot of conversations about whether plutonic friends really shift to romantic lovers in a way that is both equal and sustainable? And with Hotline Bling producer plus half of DVSN's Nineteen85 aka Paul Jefferies.

Follow Shan on Instagram: www.instagram.com/shanboody

Call in to the show to leave a voice note

‪(323) 375-4797
[email protected]

Follow the guests on this episode

Ezee

https://www.instagram.com/ezee

https://www.youtube.com/c/youngezee

https://www.youtube.com/c/ezeexnatalie

Natalie

https://www.instagram.com/natalie.odell/

https://www.youtube.com/c/NatalieOdellXo

https://www.youtube.com/c/ezeexnatalie

Nineteen85

https://www.instagram.com/nineteen85_

https://www.instagram.com/dvsn

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9xq-hVeC-OJHvWOxGydo9g

Next Episode

undefined - I'm Ready to Give Birth and I'm Still Not...Excited. What Now? feat. Shanola Hampton

I'm Ready to Give Birth and I'm Still Not...Excited. What Now? feat. Shanola Hampton

I'm 38 weeks pregnant and terrified that I still feel so negatively about my current life and the idea of life with two babies under two...so in this episode I unpack these very ugly feelings with some beautiful souls: actor Shanola Hampton (mother of two) and performance coach Lauren Morrison (mother of two). With them I ask the million dollar questions: what happens when the way you know you're supposed to feel, has little resemblance to your reality? And more frighteningly... What if that never changes?

This is a unique episode of Lovers and Friends and also apart of a small series I'm going to make surrounding preparing my life for our second blessing, our second (yet to be named) daughter. Regularly scheduled program will be back in late August!

Follow Shan

http://instagram.com/shanboody

Call in to the show to leave a voice note
‪(323) 375-4797
[email protected]
Follow the guests on this episode

Shanola Hampton

http://instagram.com/shanolahampton

Lauren Morrison

http://maketheshiftcoach.com

http://instagram.com/thisislaurenelizabeth

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