
Change Your Relationship, Not Your Spouse | LQ054
05/13/25 • 28 min
If your relationship feels like a never-ending DIY project and you keep wishing your partner would just “get it together”—this one’s for you.
In this episode, I’m unpacking the difference between wanting to change your spouse and wanting to change your relationship. We dive into the unchangeables—like personality traits, core values, and past experiences—and contrast them with the very changeable dynamics of how you communicate, collaborate, and show up in your love space. It’s about shifting from “if only they would...” to “how can we grow together?”—because real relationship magic happens when both people are tweaking, teaming up, and showing up with shared effort, not a one-sided renovation plan.
Relationships are an adventure—ready for a check-in? Take this fun quiz to see how strong your bond is & discover new ways to keep the spark alive!
About the Host:
Meet Crystal, your relationship and social health coach. Crystal is the founder of Sparked Forever Relationship & Singles coaching. She started her journey supporting the neurodiverse community in navigating this, sometimes frustrating, neurotypical social world. Lessons and inspiration from her earlier work drives Crystal’s passion for bringing couples and singles together through acceptance, understanding and big picture thinking to grow vibrant relationships. Crystal understands that the foundation for our social health and well-being starts with making connections to others. When Crystal is not working with couples, she loves to be out on adventures with her partner and bonus kids or spending time connecting with friends over good food and fun music.
Links:
https://www.instagram.com/sparkedforever/
https://www.instagram.com/sparkitsocial/
https://www.tiktok.com/@sparked_forever
Thanks for listening!
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If your relationship feels like a never-ending DIY project and you keep wishing your partner would just “get it together”—this one’s for you.
In this episode, I’m unpacking the difference between wanting to change your spouse and wanting to change your relationship. We dive into the unchangeables—like personality traits, core values, and past experiences—and contrast them with the very changeable dynamics of how you communicate, collaborate, and show up in your love space. It’s about shifting from “if only they would...” to “how can we grow together?”—because real relationship magic happens when both people are tweaking, teaming up, and showing up with shared effort, not a one-sided renovation plan.
Relationships are an adventure—ready for a check-in? Take this fun quiz to see how strong your bond is & discover new ways to keep the spark alive!
About the Host:
Meet Crystal, your relationship and social health coach. Crystal is the founder of Sparked Forever Relationship & Singles coaching. She started her journey supporting the neurodiverse community in navigating this, sometimes frustrating, neurotypical social world. Lessons and inspiration from her earlier work drives Crystal’s passion for bringing couples and singles together through acceptance, understanding and big picture thinking to grow vibrant relationships. Crystal understands that the foundation for our social health and well-being starts with making connections to others. When Crystal is not working with couples, she loves to be out on adventures with her partner and bonus kids or spending time connecting with friends over good food and fun music.
Links:
https://www.instagram.com/sparkedforever/
https://www.instagram.com/sparkitsocial/
https://www.tiktok.com/@sparked_forever
Thanks for listening!
Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page.
Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below!
Subscribe to the podcast
If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can also subscribe in your favorite podcast app.
Leave us an Apple Podcasts review
Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcast.
Previous Episode

Teamwork Quirks | LQ053
Ever tried to build furniture with your partner and ended up questioning your entire relationship? Most of us have been there! In this episode, I’m diving into the quirks of teamwork and why it's both the secret sauce and the occasional splinter in our relationships. Teamwork isn’t just about getting things done—it's a powerful booster for our social health, giving us hits of dopamine and oxytocin (aka the feel-good stuff). But it’s not always smooth sailing! Without presence, active listening, and follow-through, things can get rocky fast—cue emotional reactivity and unspoken resentment. So let’s chat about how to work together with more clarity, communication, and kindfulness. Trust me, your next team-up—whether it's planning a trip or just doing the dishes—might just get a whole lot smoother.
Relationships are an adventure—ready for a check-in? Take this fun quiz to see how strong your bond is & discover new ways to keep the spark alive!
Mentioned Resources:
Episodes 15 & 16 Partnering not Parenting
About the Host:
Meet Crystal, your relationship and social health coach. Crystal is the founder of Sparked Forever Relationship & Singles coaching. She started her journey supporting the neurodiverse community in navigating this, sometimes frustrating, neurotypical social world. Lessons and inspiration from her earlier work drives Crystal’s passion for bringing couples and singles together through acceptance, understanding and big picture thinking to grow vibrant relationships. Crystal understands that the foundation for our social health and well-being starts with making connections to others. When Crystal is not working with couples, she loves to be out on adventures with her partner and bonus kids or spending time connecting with friends over good food and fun music.
Links:
https://www.instagram.com/sparkedforever/
https://www.instagram.com/sparkitsocial/
https://www.tiktok.com/@sparked_forever
Thanks for listening!
Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page.
Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below!
Subscribe to the podcast
If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can also subscribe in your favorite podcast app.
Leave us an Apple Podcasts review
Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcast.
Love Quirks - Change Your Relationship, Not Your Spouse | LQ054
Transcript
Welcome to our love space today. So first off, I just really want to check in about how everyone's Spring Fling challenge is going. So I know we talked about it close to the first day of spring, so that's all the way back in March, and we're almost halfway through spring now. We might even be halfway through. I don't really calculate the days, but we have gone the end of March and all of April, and now we have all most of May and June. So may
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