What a Single Dad Wants In the Next Relationship

12/16/22 • 10 min

Love on the Air - Podcast of The Whole Parent

Let's look into the challenges of dating as a single parent. To start, we've both got some history under our belt, kids, and some requirements for what's OK and what we simply won't ever do again.

As we navigate "dating" again, we quickly realize the rules are very different as single parents. Our experience gives us some distinct advantages in terms of recognizing what we don't want. And perhaps our unfinished healing might keep us from starting the dating process again.

Read this article on The Whole Parent: What a Single Dad Wants

Let's look into the challenges of dating as a single parent. To start, we've both got some history under our belt, kids, and some requirements for what's OK and what we simply won't ever do again.

Read this article on The Whole Parent: What a Single Dad Wants

Previous Episode

How Are You Showing Up In Your Love Life?

I know we often want to believe that another person is going to make it all better. A lover would make us happier. A quest for love can become a casual sport or a spiritual journey. Let’s imagine that finding a lifetime partnership is our ultimate goal. Let’s look forward to years and years with our lover. Let’s plan on staying together.

Showing Up For Yourself

First, before you find your beloved, you’ve got to become the beloved of your own life. According to Eva Blake on my recent podcast, you’re relationship with yourself, even sexually, changes your relationship to the world. How are you with self-love? Do you know what you like? Do you give it to yourself from time to time, even when you’re in a relationship? What are the things that make you happy? Can you do them for yourself?

Read this article on The Whole Parent: Showing Up In *Your* Love Life

Next Episode

Why Is Self-Care So Difficult?

Most of us are not very good at self-care. We often put other’s needs before ours. Especially if we are single parents, we’ve got a full load at work and a full load at home. Where is the time for ourselves? How do we make time for self-care?

Taking Charge of Our Own Calendar

One of my life-skills has been learning how to run my schedule using Google Calendar. I put all the appointments on my calendar. I remember a “hello date” several years ago, where I asked, “If you’ll give me your email address I’ll send you a calendar invite for our coffee this Saturday.” She found it odd, quirky, and somewhat endearing. I found it essential to put our dates on the map of my time so that I could make energy and time available.

I put things on my calendar so I can show up ready to go. I can glance at my week, see the high points and make decisions about how I’m going to schedule or use my open time. When I know what’s coming on Thursday evening, I can plan an early night on Wednesday to give me plenty of energy for the event. If I run my day at full-tilt and am slightly surprised that I have an evening event, I’m going to be tired, I’m going to be less-than-100%, I’m going to be disappointed in my planning and management.

I was speaking to a friend recently about their self-care planning. Here’s what I heard then say, “I’ve just got too much going on. Too many people need me right now.” Here’s the underlying message, “My self-care is not as important as my care of others.” And where this gets problematic is when things get overwhelming. When our schedules get overbooked with obligations to our kids, our friends, our partners, we will feel anxiety and exhaustion as we head into the weekday, the day where we have NO BREAKS.

“What if,” I proposed to my friend, “You take a moment at the beginning of each day, and add in a ME CYCLE? What if the first calendar event was YOU, every single day?” I could see the consternation on my friend’s face. I could hear the “not possible” response forming on their lips. “Just consider it,” I said. “I know, even this feels overwhelming, and like adding one more event to your calendar.” They nodded. “And I’m not speaking to you as a coach, but as a friend who cares about you.” I could see the pain in their expression.

Read the entire article on The Whole Parent.