Episode 56: Lori Shares Her Story with Jon Vaughn

Explicit content warning

01/12/24 • 49 min

In this episode, Lori Poland is once again joined by fellow survivor, Jon Vaughn. To change things up, Jon interviews Lori about her experiences as a survivor.
The Louder than Silence podcast is brought to you by the National Foundation to End Child Abuse and Neglect (EndCAN): www.endcan.org
Episode Takeaways:

What made Lori write her book? “When we are survivors, there is a developmental process, and my sentences became paragraphs, and then a book. It is one of the faces of survivorship – we start as a victim, then move out of that phase and transition into survivorship and then into being a thriver and then when you’re through finding ‘your own’, you transition to transcender.”
The title is, “I Live Here” which details her life story, starting with her kidnapping at the age of 3. When she was found by rescuers at the bottom of an outhouse toilet, she told them, "I live here."
Children do not know what normal is, so what they are experiencing may seem normal to them without realizing it is abuse.
The narrative of her story was only what she had been told by family, and it was their story, not her's. Every time she was interviewed publicly, they accused her making parts of the story up and the more this happened, the more she did research and saw details that she was not aware of. Their narrative and her experience were not the same.
The history of books is “his” story in everyone’s own perspective. And, you have to own your perspective and truth and defend it.
It’s okay to not have a family in the way most people envision. You’re going to have family that will never leave because they are touched by your story.
Always take time for yourself; wounds don’t heal in a day.
We have to be able to say no, to society, to parents, to abusers, to anyone trying to hurt you.

Quotes of the Show:

"Transcenders are people who turn around and give it back. "
"Don’t be concerned about people talking, be concerned when they aren’t."

Links:
Lori's book, "I Live Here" - https://endcan.org/2022/07/11/lori-poland-memoir/

What made Lori write her book? “When we are survivors, there is a developmental process, and my sentences became paragraphs, and then a book. It is one of the faces of survivorship – we start as a victim, then move out of that phase and transition into survivorship and then into being a thriver and then when you’re through finding ‘your own’, you transition to transcender.”
The title is, “I Live Here” which details her life story, starting with her kidnapping at the age of 3. When she was found by rescuers at the bottom of an outhouse toilet, she told them, "I live here."
Children do not know what normal is, so what they are experiencing may seem normal to them without realizing it is abuse.
The narrative of her story was only what she had been told by family, and it was their story, not her's. Every time she was interviewed publicly, they accused her making parts of the story up and the more this happened, the more she did research and saw details that she was not aware of. Their narrative and her experience were not the same.
The history of books is “his” story in everyone’s own perspective. And, you have to own your perspective and truth and defend it.
It’s okay to not have a family in the way most people envision. You’re going to have family that will never leave because they are touched by your story.
Always take time for yourself; wounds don’t heal in a day.
We have to be able to say no, to society, to parents, to abusers, to anyone trying to hurt you.

Quotes of the Show:

"Transcenders are people who turn around and give it back. "
"Don’t be concerned about people talking, be concerned when they aren’t."

Links:
Lori's book, "I Live Here" - https://endcan.org/2022/07/11/lori-poland-memoir/

Previous Episode

Episode 55: What is Sex Trafficking? with Stephanie Knapp

In this episode, Lori Poland is joined by Stephanie Knapp, a supervisory child and adolescent forensic interviewer for the FBI's child victim services unit.
The Louder than Silence podcast is brought to you by the National Foundation to End Child Abuse and Neglect (EndCAN): www.endcan.org
Episode Time Markers
1:00 - Lori introduces Stephanie Knapp and shares their connection
4:22 - Here we are!
4:50 - Stephanie shares her background and what she does in the world
7:43 - Today’s topic introduction: sex trafficking
8:16 - The “layperson’s” description of sex trafficking
9:20 - What trafficking really is
10:26 - Language and why it matters
12:20 - Our most vulnerable population
12:50 - Who is impacted by trafficking?
15:00 - What are the traffickers doing to victimize our kids?
15:40 - How do we identify the risks and what do we need to know about the traffickers?
16:55 - What the most important thing to recognize about trafficking
17:50 - We need to acknowledge trafficking is happening and how can individuals make a difference
18:13 - Most important way to help prevent, acknowledge, and identify abuse
20:43 - What do you do as a teen when you have concerns?
22:00 - Helping kids prepare for if “they get that feeling”
23:34 - Who do I call, where do I go, what are my resources if I “know” something
26:25 - How big of a problem is trafficking actually?
28:40 - Easiest, best way to protect the children
29:30 - The power in one
Resources:
National Human Trafficking Hotline: https://humantraffickinghotline.org/en
Local FBI Field Offices: https://www.fbi.gov/contact-us/field-offices

Next Episode

Episode 57: Breaking the Silence On Sexual Assault with Alli Meyerhardt

In this episode, Lori Poland is joined by Alli Meyerhardt, the founder and executive director of Breaking Silence, a national organization designed to give a voice to survivors of abuse. As a survivor herself, Alli knew that the story many had to share would pave the way to ending sexual assault and domestic violence. She followed this vision and began a nonprofit that focuses on teaching people about the consequences of sexual assault, ways in which they can prevent it, and the realities of consent.
The Louder than Silence podcast is brought to you by the National Foundation to End Child Abuse and Neglect (EndCAN): www.endcan.org
Takeaways:
We need to believe in the power of people’s stories and to teach people to accept those stories and create safe spaces.
Stories need to be felt with love and kindness rather than saying, “we don’t talk about it.”
“I believe you, I hear you, I am so sorry that happened to you,” should be the response to anyone who shares their story.
Everyone needs to humanize people’s stories and learn to feel it.
The goal of Breaking Silence and the work they do is to create a world full of advocates.
The definition of "safe" is different for every person. We need to be protectors of all.
It is not easy to get someone curious when they don’t want to talk about “it.”
It is not always your responsibility to change someone else’s mind, but compassionate listening is necessary.
If you are open to hearing, then go and listen. Become a learner. There is someone in your life who has been impacted by violence.
Quote of the Show:
“A universal truth is we all feel pain. We are all human.”
Links:
Breaking Silence - www.breakingsilence.org