Light Duties

When it comes to fulfilling the great commission in our families (to teach our children to obey Jesus), sometimes our Christian conundrums paralyse us:

• Should we expect children will learn to obey when we know they have a sinful nature? Is it even possible this side of Genesis 3?
• Should we expect obedience (and give consequences for disobedience) when the Bible tells us that “no one is righteous, not even one”?
• Will teaching obedience to Jesus leave kids thinking they merit God’s favour by their own goodness?
• Will training our children to obey Jesus make them think they don’t need God’s forgiveness?
• When I’ve told my child to put her bowl in the sink, and she doesn’t, am I correcting a very young Christian or a very young unbeliever? Does it make any difference?
• When I pray with my child, should I expect she will learn to pray with me, or just listen in? Is it wrong to teach my children to pray when I don’t know if they are actually Christians? Does God welcome their prayers? Is it teaching them to be presumptuous?
• Should we teach kids to say sorry to others and God before they understand the significance of what they’re doing? Isn’t this teaching them formulaic hypocrisy?
• Will teaching obedience make Christianity distasteful to them, leading to rebellion against Jesus down the track?
• Isn’t obedience the same as legalism—the thing which undermines the gospel of grace?
• Isn’t our job just to teach the Bible, then kids will work out obedience for themselves eventually?
• Doesn’t behaviour follow belief? How can children behave a certain way if they don’t believe, or are not yet cognitively able to understand the ideas which Christian belief is made from? If our children haven’t come to the place of independent belief, how is it possible for them to obey Jesus?
• If it is only God’s work which can change our child’s heart, what could parents possibly do to help their children obey?
• Since we’re saved by grace, why should we care about teaching our children to obey?

Defining our terms for Christian motherhood.

Doing what is good for our kids is not the same as giving them what they want.

Soothing our inadequacies the wrong way robs us of the very comfort we are trying to find.

When we’ve been invested in giving good and restraining harm for our kids, the situations that bring them low can be bitter to us. But we and our children need these pains, lest we miss the best of comfort, especially as they become independent.