14 - She's Too Young

Explicit content warning

04/22/20 • 106 min

This week, the Lifewine trinity tackles the heartwarming and hilarious topic of teenage STIs in SHE’S TOO YOUNG (2004), starring Alexis Dziena and Marcia Gay Harden. In this direct-from-health class treasure, we learn that even the most practical and well-adjusted teenagers can feel the need to shine a knob or two in order to be popular. We discuss which members of an orchestra are most likely to put out, as well as create the very first installment of High School Musical centered around venereal disease (look out, Lin-Manuel Miranda!). The subject of sexually transmitted diseases may be a sore spot, but if you stick with syphilUS, we’re positive you’re gonorrhea-lly like this one; you may even clap!
This movie is available to view on Tubi.

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13 - Stalked By My Doctor: A Sleepwalker's Nightmare

Out of all professions, the role of doctor is supposed to be the most honorable. But what if you discovered that your doctor had a crush on you, lurked in the shadows while you slept, then tried to frame you for murder? Talk about mixed messages! Luckily, the Lifewine crew is here to navigate you through this terrifying hypothetical in STALKED BY MY DOCTOR: A SLEEPWALKER’S NIGHTMARE (2019), starring Eric Roberts, Emilie Ullerup, and genre goddess Felissa Rose. In this 100% medically accurate film, we learn all you need to assume the identity of a sleep specialist is a hypodermic needle and Wikipedia; however, if you are a female doctor who completed medical school, you’re still going to be addressed only as “Miss”. How many warranted “fuck yous” can Stephanie, Rachel, and Zach fit into one episode? Does anyone really know the past tense of “sleepwalk”? And most importantly: Is Taylor Swift a lizard person? We hope you’re feeling patient, because insurance doesn’t cover the trauma that is STALKED BY MY DOCTOR: A SLEEPWALKER’S NIGHTMARE. This movie can be viewed on the Lifetime movie app.

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15 - Jodi Arias: Dirty Little Secret

What happens when you take one seemingly chaste Mormon, one possessive seductress, mix in copious amounts of chemistry and covert fornication, then add a dash of intense sociopathy? You have a recipe for murder! In JODI ARIAS: DIRTY LITTLE SECRET (2013), starring Tania Raymonde and Jesse Lee Soffer, we see what really probably definitely maybe happened throughout this intense relationship based on trial transcripts and Arias’ ever-changing and often-deceptive account. We also learn that Finland has a name for everyone’s favorite quarantine activity, discuss the absolutely true fact that John Goodman and John Candy share a deep dark connection, and most importantly, we further enrich Rachel’s education regarding snuff films. Grab your magic underwear and your black stalker baseball cap, because you won’t want to miss this one. Once it’s over, you might even ask for MOR(mon). This move is available to view on Tubi.

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