
How Do We Self-Regulate In a World of Instant Gratification?
12/06/22 • 61 min
#11 - For part 2 of our 4 part series on emotional intelligence, we’re taking a deep dive into self-regulation. In a world that has become increasingly busy, packed with instant gratification at our fingertips, how do we learn to self-regulate? And, how do we identify when our team or family members are having trouble with it? Today, we talk through different strategies you can start today to flex your self-regulation muscle. Shane breaks down the 2 types of self-regulation, shares stories from recent client calls and identifies how self-regulation issues show up based on our colour profiles. We also explore the concept of “procrastination” and why it is some of us think we perform better under pressure.
If you have any questions about this episode, or would like to submit a topic idea for a future episode, please email us at [email protected]
To learn more about today’s topic, visit:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanewallaceculturesmith/
https://www.culturesmithinc.com/
Show Notes:
- [00:45] Where does self-regulation fit into the 4 dimensions of emotional intelligence (EQ)?
- [02:56] Differentiating between self-awareness and self-regulation.
- [04:00] How emotion travels through the brain.
- [07:30] Are you worried you look like a pushover?
- [08:10] The 2 types of self-regulation.
- [09:00] Has self-regulation gotten harder?
- [11:30] How our emotional triggers have changed as the pandemic has progressed.
- [14:30] Instant gratification is hijacking our self-regulation.
- [16:00] How do we keep up with an increasingly busy world?
- [19:00] How to notice self-regulation issues at work.
- [23:50] What actually is procrastination?
- [28:15] Habitual hesitation.
- [32:45] The role your environment plays in self-regulation
- [36:00] Can you improve self-regulation?
- [42:40] The prescription for self-regulation.
- [46:50] What we always forget about self-regulation.
- [50:50] Flipping this to the home, what dynamics of self-regulation show up there?
- [51:30] Why the construct of work-life balance is harmful.
- [54:45] How parents can help their kids grow their self-regulation.
Mentioned in this Episode:
- Book a free session with CultureSmith: https://www.culturesmithinc.com/
- Shane Wallace on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanewallaceculturesmith/
- Morgan Berna on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/morgan-berna/
#11 - For part 2 of our 4 part series on emotional intelligence, we’re taking a deep dive into self-regulation. In a world that has become increasingly busy, packed with instant gratification at our fingertips, how do we learn to self-regulate? And, how do we identify when our team or family members are having trouble with it? Today, we talk through different strategies you can start today to flex your self-regulation muscle. Shane breaks down the 2 types of self-regulation, shares stories from recent client calls and identifies how self-regulation issues show up based on our colour profiles. We also explore the concept of “procrastination” and why it is some of us think we perform better under pressure.
If you have any questions about this episode, or would like to submit a topic idea for a future episode, please email us at [email protected]
To learn more about today’s topic, visit:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanewallaceculturesmith/
https://www.culturesmithinc.com/
Show Notes:
- [00:45] Where does self-regulation fit into the 4 dimensions of emotional intelligence (EQ)?
- [02:56] Differentiating between self-awareness and self-regulation.
- [04:00] How emotion travels through the brain.
- [07:30] Are you worried you look like a pushover?
- [08:10] The 2 types of self-regulation.
- [09:00] Has self-regulation gotten harder?
- [11:30] How our emotional triggers have changed as the pandemic has progressed.
- [14:30] Instant gratification is hijacking our self-regulation.
- [16:00] How do we keep up with an increasingly busy world?
- [19:00] How to notice self-regulation issues at work.
- [23:50] What actually is procrastination?
- [28:15] Habitual hesitation.
- [32:45] The role your environment plays in self-regulation
- [36:00] Can you improve self-regulation?
- [42:40] The prescription for self-regulation.
- [46:50] What we always forget about self-regulation.
- [50:50] Flipping this to the home, what dynamics of self-regulation show up there?
- [51:30] Why the construct of work-life balance is harmful.
- [54:45] How parents can help their kids grow their self-regulation.
Mentioned in this Episode:
- Book a free session with CultureSmith: https://www.culturesmithinc.com/
- Shane Wallace on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanewallaceculturesmith/
- Morgan Berna on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/morgan-berna/
Previous Episode

The 4 Threats Our Brain Finds at Work
#10 - For the next 4 episodes we will be taking a deep dive into the dimensions of emotional intelligence (EQ): Self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and accountability. The series was inspired by a question that came out of Shane’s recent coaching calls: Why are we struggling with self-awareness? In an age where we can disappear into a catered, digital experience in the palm of our hand, how many of us are taking the time to reflect on how we’re showing up in the world? And, how can we grow something we don’t even know we’re lacking? For part 1 of the EQ series, we touch on what self-awareness is, why our brains actively work to avoid self-awareness, what new studies are showing about EQ, and how leaders can help themselves and their teams become more self-aware. We then flip it to the home and Shane shares how great leaders use the home to improve their self-awareness at work.
If you have any questions about this episode, or would like to submit a topic idea for a future episode, please email us at [email protected]
To learn more about today’s topic, visit:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanewallaceculturesmith/
https://www.culturesmithinc.com/
Show Notes:
- [00:45] Chatting through recent, great feedback for the podcast.
- [01:50] Why are we doing a 4 part series on emotional intelligence (EQ)?
- [05:30] What are the 4 dimensions of EQ?
- [07:45] Why are we struggling with self-awareness right now?
- [09:00] The reason why our brain resists self-awareness.
- [10:20] What is emotional contagion?
- [13:45] What is self-awareness?
- [14:20] Can we work on our self-awareness?
- [17:25] Emotional literacy is key to growing EQ.
- [20:10] The 4 workplace threats our brain responds to.
- [26:40] Are we actually self-aware?
- [30:10] How each colour shows a lack of self-awareness.
- [34:50] How a leader with low self-awareness affects the workplace.
- [37:00] How to use the 4 T’s of self-awareness.
- [40:50] Where does self-awareness show up in the home?
- [43:00] How great leaders leverage the home to show up better at work.
- [45:00] How to help kids grow their self-awareness.
Mentioned in this Episode:
- Book a free session with CultureSmith: https://www.culturesmithinc.com/
- Shane Wallace on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanewallaceculturesmith/
- Morgan Berna on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/morgan-berna/
Next Episode

Curiosity Did Not Kill the Team, Low EQ Did
#12 - For part 3 of our 4 part series on emotional intelligence we’re talking about empathy, also known as “social intelligence.” We start with a quick review of the 4 dimensions of emotional intelligence and then dive into where empathy fits in. Shane explains the different types of empathy, the importance of transactional empathy for leaders, and how a leader can tell if their team has high or low empathy. We also explore what’s really going on when teams resist new ideas and discuss the importance of getting curious.
If you have any questions about this episode, or would like to submit a topic idea for a future episode, please email us at [email protected]
To learn more about today’s topic, visit:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanewallaceculturesmith/
https://www.culturesmithinc.com/
Show Notes:
- [02:50] Reviewing the 4 dimensions of emotional intelligence.
- [04:45] What is empathy? And why does it get confused with sympathy?
- [06:00] The different types of empathy.
- [07:50] The importance of transactional empathy for leaders.
- [09:45] Going over the communication process.
- [12:30] What’s going on when teams are resistant to new ideas?
- [15:30] The biggest unlock Shane has had with teams this week.
- [20:20] How would a leader notice if their team has high or low empathy?
- [22:40] 3 ways judgement shows up in teams.
- [26:38] The importance of curiosity.
- [29:00] The 4 dimensions of curiosity.
- [33:00] Real world examples of empathy building.
- [37:30] Is curiosity colour-dependent?
- [41:20] Recent examples and tangible takeaways.
- [45:15] Flipping this to the home, can you apply the same framework?
- [50:15] So, is judgement bad or good?
Mentioned in this Episode:
- Curiosity assessment:
- Empathy canvas:
- Book a free session with CultureSmith: https://www.culturesmithinc.com/
- Shane Wallace on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanewallaceculturesmith/
- Morgan Berna on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/morgan-berna/
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