Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

Today the content comes straight from the Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens FB group. I talk a lot with my clients and here on the pod about "energetic responsibility" and a mama posted a question asking me to go deeper. The result is this podcast!

My guest today is Michelle Icard.

Michelle is a member of the Today show parenting team and NBC News Learn. The author of Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen and Middle School Makeover, her work has been featured in the Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, The Christian Science Monitor, Redbook, Time, and People.

Her leadership curriculum for middle schoolers, Athena's Path and Hero's Pursuit, have been implemented at schools across the U.S., and her summer camp curriculum is offered at more than twenty camps each summer. She lives with her family in Charlotte, North Carolina.

Takeaways from the show:

• Being the leader and designer of your life
• Michelle’s new book: 14 talks by age Fourteen
• How lots of little conversations are more helpful than one big conversation
• BRIEF acronym
• Conversation crashers
• Be specific with your kids
• Isolation is a part of exploring independence
• Sitting inside of having tough conversations with your child
• Having trust in your kids that they will learn from their mistakes
• Having a neutral expression while talking to your kids

For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

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This was such a fun episode to create! A parent in the Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens opened up about their concerns for their 15-year-old daughter, who’s beginning to ride with friends who are new drivers. As her peers gain driving experience, this parent is feeling understandably anxious about safety and how to guide their teen through this phase. I acknowledged these valid concerns and suggested a reframing approach, focusing on building trust in teens’ growth through their experiences. While emphasizing the importance of safety, I encouraged open, ongoing conversations about responsible driving to help build awareness and accountability. I also recommended that parents engage their teens with questions about friends’ driving behaviors and reinforce family rules constructively. To help manage parental anxiety, I shared practical tools like deep breathing, recognizing fears, and reframing thoughts to foster trust in the learning process. Allowing teens to make mistakes within safe boundaries, I explained, helps build their decision-making skills and strengthens the parent-teen relationship. Watching teens gain independence is challenging, but it’s a crucial step in their development.

Find more show notes and info about our sponsors at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-527-Managing-our-fears-about-teenagers-and-driving/

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My guest today is Alana Carvalho.

Alana is a licensed mental health counselor who focuses on helping parents, couples and individuals build balanced relationships by releasing old patterns and becoming more authentic.

She is especially passionate about helping individuals see how healing codependency and perfectionism can lead to a more joy filled life.

Alana has lectured on child development at The College of Staten Island. Her first book Raising Empowered Children: The Codependent Perfectionist’s Guide to Parenting is now available on amazon.com.

Alana maintains her private practice in Midtown Manhattan and is currently seeing clients virtually. You can connect with her through her website, Instagram, podcast or you can email her at [email protected]

Takeaways from the show:

• Alana’s story
• Codependency in the context of parenting
• Developing community outside of family members
• Being supportive vs controlling
• Creating a safe space for your kids
• Validation and support coming into play
• Empowering your children by asking if they want your help
• Being in relationship with kids who are in resistance
• Example moving through hard things for your child
• How you respond is where your influence lies
• Building resilience

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

For me it’s exactly what we’re talking about. It’s pushing yourself to grow in these uncomfortable ways and doing it knowing that’s what brings joy into life and relationships, by pushing out of your comfort zone and taking a look at yourself.

Where to find Alana:

Instagram | Book | Website

See you next week!! :)

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My guest today is Dr. Shefali Tsabary.

Dr. Shefali begins by sharing her journey into motherhood & discovering conscious parenting. She shares a bit about what her new book, “The Parenting Map” covers. Casey and Dr. Shefali talk about how challenging it is to look inward and how we work towards growth, not perfection. They dig into challenging any narratives you may have for your own children and finding your flow. Casey asks how we can get past the “smoke screen” and dig in deeper into what’s going on with misbehavior. They talk about teens practicing regulation and about how individuation & defiance are not only developmentally appropriate but necessary. Dr. Shefali shares her five F’s of parents: fighter, fixer, feigner, freezer, fleer and how to acknowledge and calm your ego. They wrap up talking on being in partnership with your child, how & why negotiating with your kids can actually be a good thing, and why we don’t use punishment.

Takeaways from the show

• What is conscious parenting?
• Dr. Shefali’s new book: “The Parenting Map”
• The challenges of looking inward
• Parenting is about growth, not perfection
• Challenging & deconstructing your narratives
• The “iceberg” and “smoke screen” behind behaviors
• Defiance is developmentally healthy
• Dr. Shefali’s five F’s of parents: fighter, fixer, feigner, freezer, & fleer
• Acknowledging and calming your ego
• Why & how negotiating with your kids can be positive

For complete show notes including transcripts, visit our website here.