Infertile and Childless Around the Holidays

12/17/24 • 13 min

IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast

The holidays can feel especially heavy when you're childless after infertility and IVF. In this episode, I'm sharing heartfelt insights and practical strategies to help you navigate this season with grace, even when it feels like everything revolves around kids.

Whether you're grieving the loss of a dream of motherhood after fertility treatments failed you, feeling out of place at family gatherings, or looking for new ways to make the season meaningful, this episode is for you.

Join me as I offer support, validation, and actionable tips to help you honor your emotions, set boundaries, and create moments of joy that align with your life.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

How to Honor Your Grief and Emotions: Why it's common to feel both sadness and joy this season, especially after navigating infertility and childlessness after IVF failed.
Setting Boundaries at Family Gatherings: How to protect your emotional well-being while showing up in a way that feels true to you.
Navigating Holiday Triggers: Managing the constant reminders of what you hoped life would look like, from social media to family traditions, and why it’s normal to feel the grief of being childless after infertility.
Creating Your Joyful Traditions: Ideas for new ways to celebrate that bring comfort and meaning to your holiday season when life without children looks different than you expected.
Why You’re Not Alone: Real stories of support and love, even when life looks different than you dreamed, and why community matters when you are childless not by choice.

Special Invitation:

Join my FREE Masterclass on Thursday, December 19th at 6 PM Central Time where we’ll dive deeper into handling the holidays without children. I’ll share more tools and ideas to help you feel prepared, connected, and at peace this season, even if you’re childless after infertility.

Key Moments:

[00:01:31] Healing and the love I received—even without kids, and how I am processing life after IVF.
[00:03:08] How the holidays highlight grief and bring up unexpected emotions for childless women after infertility.
[00:06:32] The truth about grief: it doesn’t disappear, but we can learn to carry it with us.
[00:07:25] Setting boundaries and permitting yourself to step back when needed.
[00:08:31] Ideas to create new, meaningful traditions that honor your experience as a woman without children.
[00:10:32] Holding two emotions at once: joy for others and grief for yourself.

Quotes to Inspire You:

“Your worth is not defined by whether or not you have children. Your presence matters deeply.”
“You can love your nieces and nephews while also grieving what hasn’t happened for you.”
“The holidays can feel heavy, but you don’t have to navigate them alone.”

Connect with Me:

YouTube: @lana.manikowski

Instagram: @lana.manikowski

TikTok: @lana.manikowski

Website: lanamanikowski.com

Resources Mentioned:

Register for the Free Masterclass: Handling the Holidays: Managing Your Family, Traditions, and Celebrations Without Kids
Free Resource: The Top 2️⃣7️⃣ Things People Say When You Are Childless (...and how to respond)

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who may need to hear this message. Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review—it helps me reach more women navigating life after infertility and IVF who need to hear they are not alone.

You are seen. You are loved. And you are not alone.

Join me as I offer support, validation, and actionable tips to help you honor your emotions, set boundaries, and create moments of joy that align with your life.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

How to Honor Your Grief and Emotions: Why it's common to feel both sadness and joy this season, especially after navigating infertility and childlessness after IVF failed.
Setting Boundaries at Family Gatherings: How to protect your emotional well-being while showing up in a way that feels true to you.
Navigating Holiday Triggers: Managing the constant reminders of what you hoped life would look like, from social media to family traditions, and why it’s normal to feel the grief of being childless after infertility.
Creating Your Joyful Traditions: Ideas for new ways to celebrate that bring comfort and meaning to your holiday season when life without children looks different than you expected.
Why You’re Not Alone: Real stories of support and love, even when life looks different than you dreamed, and why community matters when you are childless not by choice.

Special Invitation:

Key Moments:

[00:01:31] Healing and the love I received—even without kids, and how I am processing life after IVF.
[00:03:08] How the holidays highlight grief and bring up unexpected emotions for childless women after infertility.
[00:06:32] The truth about grief: it doesn’t disappear, but we can learn to carry it with us.
[00:07:25] Setting boundaries and permitting yourself to step back when needed.
[00:08:31] Ideas to create new, meaningful traditions that honor your experience as a woman without children.
[00:10:32] Holding two emotions at once: joy for others and grief for yourself.

Quotes to Inspire You:

“Your worth is not defined by whether or not you have children. Your presence matters deeply.”
“You can love your nieces and nephews while also grieving what hasn’t happened for you.”
“The holidays can feel heavy, but you don’t have to navigate them alone.”

Connect with Me:

YouTube: @lana.manikowski

Instagram: @lana.manikowski

TikTok: @lana.manikowski

Website: lanamanikowski.com

Resources Mentioned:

Register for the Free Masterclass: Handling the Holidays: Managing Your Family, Traditions, and Celebrations Without Kids
Free Resource: The Top 2️⃣7️⃣ Things People Say When You Are Childless (...and how to respond)

You are seen. You are loved. And you are not alone.

Previous Episode

Aging When You Are Childless

In today’s episode of The 'So Now What?' Podcast, we’re tackling a deeply personal fear that many women who are childless after infertility and IVF struggle with: the fear of growing old alone. When the dream of motherhood doesn’t become a reality, it’s natural to worry about who will be there to care for us as we age. We often think that without children, we’re missing a safety net for the future. But what if that isn’t the whole story?

Lana Manikowski, certified life coach and advocate for women who are childless after infertility, shares a personal story about the recent outpouring of support she received after a sudden injury. From friends offering rides and food deliveries to unexpected check-ins, Lana’s experience highlights a powerful reminder: family, love, and care come in many forms — not just from children.

In this episode, we’ll explore:

Why the fear of aging alone affects so many childless women after fertility treatments

Practical ways to redefine what “family” and “support” can look like in our lives

Steps to build intentional community and meaningful relationships that bring love, connection, and support

How to ease the uncertainty of the future by planning and building a fulfilling life without the milestones of motherhood

Join us for this heartfelt discussion on shifting our perspective, letting go of the “what ifs,” and finding reassurance in the connections we’re building today.

Tune in to learn more about:

How to embrace a fulfilling future as a childless woman after infertility

Ways to find and nurture a support system beyond biological family

Practical tips to let go of the fear of aging alone without children

Strategies to build a strong, caring community after IVF and fertility treatments

Links Mentioned:

-Register for the Free Holiday MasterClass here

Free Resource: “The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless (...and how to respond)

Download this helpful guide to handle common questions and comments that can feel intrusive or hurtful: https://lanamanikowski.com/thingspeoplesay

Next Episode

Dear Santa: A Letter After IVF Failed

Merry Christmas to Those Who Celebrate

This week's episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast is here to guide you through the complexities of the holiday season, especially if you're navigating the challenges of being childless after infertility treatments. Christmas can be a beautiful season of nostalgia and tradition, but it can also bring unexpected emotions - grief, longing, and loneliness - if your journey to motherhood didn’t turn out as planned.

🎄 What You'll Learn in This Episode:

How to acknowledge and honor your experiences this year.
A unique and empowering exercise: writing a letter to Santa from your adult self.

The Letter to Santa Exercise Instead of writing a wish list, this letter is an opportunity to reflect on the strength, growth, and accomplishments you've achieved throughout the year. Acknowledge the challenges you’ve faced and celebrate how far you’ve come. Then, look ahead to your hopes for the future.

✨ Highlights of Lana’s Letter to Santa:

Recognizing the bravery to leave a corporate job and start a coaching career.
Embracing life without motherhood at its center and finding joy in new connections.
Asking for continued strength, self-compassion, and belief in a fulfilling future.

Now, it’s your turn. Grab a piece of paper or your journal and write your own letter to Santa. Let this be a moment of self-discovery, healing, and celebration.

Feeling Stuck? Book a Free Thrive Call If you’re unsure how to move forward or need guidance as you process the loss of a dream of motherhood, Lana invites you to schedule a free 45-minute Thrive Call. You can book your’s here. This is your chance to connect with someone who truly understands where you are and help you create a plan to move forward.

🎁 Lana’s Gift to You Download a free resource: The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless and How to Respond. It’s perfect for navigating those tricky holiday conversations. Get your copy here!

Let’s Stay Connected Follow Lana on Instagram @lana.manikowski for more support and insights, and don’t forget to check your email for a replay of her recent masterclass, Handling the Holidays.

💖 As you navigate the holiday season, remember: You are seen. You are strong. And it’s never too late to discover your meaning.

Merry Christmas, and see you next week! 🌟