IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast

Hey there! It's been quite a week in the media, and I felt compelled to address some comments circulating about childless women being miserable. As someone who deeply values integrity, especially in my role as a life coach supporting women crafting fulfilling lives without children, I want to make it clear: this isn't about politics, and it never will be. My goal here is to provide a space where all women, regardless of political affiliation, can feel supported and understood.

This week's episode is a response to the myth that women who are childless are inherently unhappy. As someone who once immersed myself in politics, even working in Washington, D.C., I understand the power of narratives. But as I shifted my focus to life coaching, I chose to step back from the constant news cycle, focusing instead on creating a positive and supportive environment.

I rarely watch the news now, and some might say I live in a bubble. To that, I say, yes, I do—and I value the peace it brings me. It's important to me to curate my environment, choosing what influences I allow in. While I care deeply about the future, my energy is better spent fostering a supportive community for women like us—women who are childless, not by choice, but because of infertility.

The idea that childless women are miserable is a damaging stereotype rooted in outdated societal expectations. It suggests that a woman's worth and happiness are tied solely to her ability to have children. But this couldn't be further from the truth. Many women, whether by choice or circumstance, lead rich, fulfilling lives filled with purpose and joy. That's the message I share weekly on this podcast.

Experiencing childlessness, especially after infertility, can indeed bring moments of deep sadness or even misery. These feelings are valid and normal. It's essential to acknowledge them without self-judgment. Remember, it's okay to have days that aren't filled with joy. This doesn't mean you're failing or destined for a life of unhappiness. It simply means you're human.

Fulfillment doesn't come from one single source, like motherhood. It's found in relationships, hobbies, careers, personal growth, and so many other areas. Happiness and purpose are not linear; they come from a diverse range of experiences. We are multifaceted beings, capable of finding joy and meaning in various aspects of our lives.

If you're feeling stuck in sadness or finding it hard to move past these negative feelings, now might be the time to explore new communities and support systems. Whether it's through a local group, social media, or programs like my "Thrive After Infertility Mastermind," connecting with others can be a powerful way to rediscover joy and purpose.

To those who believe that childless women are miserable, we can't change everyone's mind. But we can change how we see ourselves. It's about proving to ourselves that we can create and enjoy a fulfilling life. If you're feeling down or questioning your worth, remember that you're deserving of happiness and fulfillment, just like anyone else.

Life is full of ups and downs, and that's okay. It's about embracing the full spectrum of emotions and not judging ourselves for feeling anything less than perfect. Happiness and sadness can coexist, and that's what makes our journey authentic and meaningful.

As you navigate these challenging emotions, remember that you're not alone. It's never too late to find meaning and create a life you love. I hope you have a beautiful week, filled with moments that remind you of your worth and potential. I love you all, and I can't wait to connect with you again next week. Take care!

On this episode, we're diving into a topic that often gets overlooked: embracing abundance after infertility. It's something many of us struggle with because we rarely see examples of women thriving in a life that doesn't include motherhood. That's precisely what inspired me to start this podcast — to fill that gap and provide a space where we can explore where these communities exist, how to navigate difficult interactions with those who don't understand, and finding acceptance and peace on our unique paths.

I remember vividly the moment my reproductive endocrinologist gently recommended against further IVF cycles. It was like a ton of bricks crashing down, leaving me unsure of what lay ahead. Deciding not to pursue adoption or egg donation wasn't easy either. I wasn't prepared to just bounce back; healing takes time, and it's okay to sit with those emotions.

If you're feeling lost in this journey right now, please know you're not alone. There's no timeline for healing, no one-size-fits-all approach. But when you're ready to take that next step toward reclaiming your life and finding joy again, that's what today's episode is all about.

Navigating conversations where people offer well-meaning but insensitive remarks can be challenging. "Just relax, it'll happen," or "You can always adopt," aren't always helpful. It's important to assert our boundaries and share our stories authentically. You deserve to be heard and respected in your journey.

Finding supportive communities is crucial. While social media can be a lifeline, it's also important to curate your feed mindfully. Surround yourself with voices that uplift and inspire you. Consider joining support groups or programs like Thrive after Infertility, where you not only find connection but also actionable steps to shape a life you love.

Creating or joining local meetups can also be incredibly fulfilling. I started one myself, and it's grown into a vibrant community of women celebrating life beyond motherhood. It's about finding spaces where you can be yourself, where you don't have to explain or justify your path.

As you embark on this journey of rediscovery, think about who you want to be six months from now. Take small steps toward that vision, whether it's engaging more deeply with supportive communities or setting boundaries on social media. Your journey is unique, and your path forward is yours to define.

If you're looking for practical tips on handling insensitive comments or starting conversations about your journey, check out this free resource I created just for you. It's call The Top 27 Things People Say When you Are Childless...and How to Respond.

Remember, it's never too late to redefine what brings meaning to your life. Thank you for being here with me today. I cherish our time together and look forward to connecting again next week.

Until then, take care of yourself and know that you're not alone on this journey. You are seen, you are heard, and your story matters. Here's to embracing the abundance that awaits us all.

Welcome and Personal Update

• Vacation Preparation: Lana discusses the anxiety she felt as she prepared for her first vacation since leaving her corporate job, and how this trip is a significant change from her previous work-focused vacations.

Upcoming Free Coaching Class

• Free Webinar Announcement: Lana is hosting a free coaching class on September 10th at 6 PM CT. This session is designed to help those who struggle with responding to the question, "Do you have children?"
• Registration Details: You can sign up here: Sign Up for the Free Webinar. For those unable to attend live, a replay will be sent to all registered participants.

Today's Topic: Unpacking Anxiousness Around Vacation

• Working with a Life Coach: Lana explains how her recent session with her life coach brought up feelings of anxiety related to not working during her vacation. This was the first time she would be traveling without the responsibilities of her former corporate job.
• Past Corporate Life: Lana reflects on her time working in the medical field, where she often felt tethered to her job even during vacations. She recounts moments where she would hide in the bathroom to take work calls, illustrating how deeply her identity was tied to her work.

The Link Between Work and Self-Worth

• Job as Identity: Lana discusses how, for many women who are childless not by choice, their careers become a major source of validation and worthiness. She shares her own experience of feeling successful and validated through her job, especially after the emotional toll of infertility treatments.
• Common Struggles in Life After Infertility: Lana touches on how many women in her Thrive After Infertility Mastermind program face similar challenges—using work as a way to measure success and self-worth, often driven by the label of being a "failed patient" in fertility treatments.

Coaching Insights: Learning to Relax

• Feelings Work: During her coaching session, Lana did some “feelings work” to identify where her anxiety was manifesting physically. This exercise helped her realize she had difficulty relaxing and not working on vacation.
• Nervousness About Free Time: Lana also uncovered nervousness about spending uninterrupted time with her husband, despite their close relationship and shared love for travel. She questioned whether she knew how to enjoy downtime without the distraction of work.
• Reframing Vacation: By the end of her coaching session, Lana decided to allow herself to fully enjoy her vacation without the pressure to work. She prepared her business tasks in advance and planned to focus on reading—a goal aligned with her vision board.

Vision Board and Intentions for Vacation

• Choosing Activities Over Work: Lana shares how she selected two books to bring on vacation, aiming to replace any urges to work with reading. She emphasized the importance of aligning her vacation activities with the intentions on her vision board, which included relaxation and quality time with her husband, not working.
• Vision Board Inspiration: Lana encourages listeners to revisit her Instagram post from August 7th to see her vision board, which visually represents her goals for relaxation and connection during her vacation.

Final Thoughts and Invitation to Connect

• Free Coaching Session Offer: If this resonates with you and you'd like to talk through anything that's been holding you back, I’d love to help. You can schedule a free Thrive Session with me using this link: Schedule a Thrive Session.

Conclusion

• Encouragement: Lana closes the episode by acknowledging that none of us need to work during vacation and encourages listeners to embrace relaxation and enjoyment fully.

Welcome to another episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast! This week, we’re diving into the important topic of body image after infertility—a struggle many women face when their journey to motherhood didn’t go as planned. If you’ve been feeling disconnected or resentful toward your body after years of fertility treatments, this episode is for you.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why body image struggles are common for women who are childless after infertility.
• How to begin the process of healing your relationship with your body by focusing on what your body does for you every day.
• The benefits of gentle movement and why it’s important to move your body with kindness.
• How to embrace body neutrality as a step toward self-acceptance, even if body positivity feels out of reach right now.
• Practical self-care tips to help you reconnect with your body, including writing down three things you’re grateful for each day.

This episode also touches on self-compassion and how small shifts in how you think about your body can lead to big changes in how you feel about it. Whether it's appreciating that your body allows you to take a walk, or simply that it keeps you alive each day, reconnecting with your body is possible—one step at a time.

Lana also introduces her Fall Thrive After Infertility Mastermind, a 12-week coaching program designed to support you through challenging holidays like Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. You’ll get the tools and community to help you thrive, even when it feels like life didn’t go according to plan.

Key Takeaways from This Episode:

• Body Image After Infertility: Understanding why infertility can make you feel disconnected from your body and how to start healing.
• Gentle Movement and Self-Care: How small acts of kindness, like yoga or a walk, can help you feel more connected to yourself.
• Body Neutrality: Why you don’t have to love your body right away, but you can learn to accept and care for it.

Want More Support?

• Get the replay of Lana’s free class on handling awkward questions about not having kids. Just email her at [email protected] or DM her on Instagram.
• Join the Fall Thrive After Infertility Mastermind: Learn more about this supportive, transformative program here.
• Download Lana’s free guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless and How to Respond at LanaManikowski.com/thingspeoplesay.

Hello, beautiful! I’m so glad you’re here for this week’s episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast.

If you’re watching on YouTube, you’ll notice I’m in a different setting than usual. I’m currently in Denver, attending the American Society of Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) Annual Congress. This episode might sound a bit different, but it’s coming straight from the heart, and I think it’s one you’ll connect with if you’ve been searching for recognition after leaving IVF or fertility treatments without the child you dreamed of.

In this episode, I share a deeply personal story about reuniting with my reproductive endocrinologist after six years of wondering what I’d say if we ever crossed paths again. This was the doctor who, back in 2018, told me my only frozen embryo wasn’t viable for implantation. It was a moment that shifted everything for me and my journey to motherhood. If you’ve ever felt like you were left to figure out life on your own after fertility treatments, this episode is for you.

I talk about what it was like to finally speak with him face-to-face and express gratitude for his efforts, even though the outcome wasn’t what I’d hoped for. It was also an opportunity to tell him how I’ve moved forward—leaving my corporate career, becoming a life coach, and now dedicating myself to helping women like you who are navigating life after IVF.

As you listen, I want you to think about what you would say if you ever had the chance to speak to your own Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) or fertility team again.

What would you want them to know about where you are today? Whether or not you ever get that chance, it’s important to acknowledge yourself for how far you’ve come and the life you’re creating, even though it looks different than what you envisioned.

After the episode, I encourage you to take a few minutes to write down what your conversation would look like. It’s a powerful exercise in recognizing your strength, resilience, and everything you’ve achieved since your fertility journey ended. And if you’re still feeling unsure about what’s next, I’m here to help.

Book a free Thrive Call with me, and together, we’ll create a plan for how you can move forward feeling fulfilled, even without the children you hoped for. It’s time to thrive again, and I’m here to walk that path with you.

Key Takeaways:

• You’re not alone in feeling left behind after fertility treatments. It’s a common experience to feel lost without the support and guidance you once had.
• Think about what closure looks like for you. Even if you never speak to your RE again, you can still acknowledge what you’ve accomplished since that part of your life ended.
• Your story is yours to create. The narrative around living without children doesn’t have to be one of loss or sadness. You have the power to rewrite your story into something beautiful and fulfilling.

Resources:

• YouTube: Watch this week’s podcast on Youtube. Find my YouTube channel here.
• Free Download: The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless and How to Respond. Grab your free copy at https://LanaManikowski.com/thingspeoplesay
• Thrive Call: Ready to create a plan for thriving without the children you dreamed of? Schedule a free Thrive Call with me at https://LanaManikowski.com/thrivecall

Thank you for tuning in this week. Remember, it’s never too late to discover your meaning and create a life that feels whole, even if motherhood wasn’t part of your story. I’m so proud of you for showing up and doing the work to live life on your terms.

Until next week, take care, and know that I see you, I celebrate you, and I love you.