
Dealing with Drama: Histrionic High Conflict People
12/02/21 • 30 min
Histrionic Personality Disorder. It’s all about the drama.
Drama abounds online, on television, in movies, and in everyday life. But have you been around a person who is all drama all the time? With loads of storytelling and emotional persuasion? You may have been around someone with a histrionic high conflict personality.
This type of personality is driven by an intense need to be the center of attention, and when they aren’t, the blame and anger begin. But in the beginning, you may have been charmed by their sometimes flirtatious behavior (not all are this way) and later experienced and been exhausted by their non-stop drama and attention-seeking. Bill and Megan discuss the histrionic high conflict personality type, including:
- Their need to be the center of attention and fear of feeling ignored
- The differences between a self-absorbed person and someone with histrionic high conflict personality traits and behaviors
- Why they exhaust those around them and how others experience their high conflict behaviors
- How to spot them
- Statistics on Histrionic Personality Disorder and histrionic HCPs in the U.S.
Understanding and dealing with Histrionic HCPs takes time, but learning about their fear-based operating system as well as learning a few simple skills – like setting limits – will help calm your life and prevent you from burning out.
If you’ve spent much time around someone with a histrionic high conflict personality, you know how exhausting interactions with them can be. Plus, their M.O. in life is it’s all about me, creating lop-sided relationships and one-way interactions. Setting limits is a key skill in turning that around. The first step is to understand their behavior patterns, starting now.
Send us your stories!
We’d love to hear your stories so we can talk through them on the show! Please visit our site and click the ‘Submit a Question’ button at the top of the page. You can also send us an email at [email protected] or send us a note on any of our socials.
Please rate, review and share this show!
Links & Other Notes
Books:
Conflict Communication Series
- Calming Upset People with EAR
- BIFF
- BIFF for CoParent Communication
- BIFF at Work
- All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books and some in audio format.
On Demand Courses:
Submit a Question for Bill and Megan
You can also find these show notes on our website as well.
- (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
- (02:50) - Histrionic Personality Disorders
- (04:30) - What Is Histrionic Personality Disorder?
- (07:27) - Superficial Speech
- (10:07) - Histrionic Fear
- (11:55) - How Does It Develop
- (13:49) - Helping Your Children Avoid Becoming Histrionic
- (16:35) - Stats
- (18:59) - When In a Relationship With a Histrionic
- (20:10) - In Romantic Relationship
- (21:46) - In the Workplace
- (23:09) - In Summary & Tips
- (24:21) - Common Areas
- (25:49) - Persuasive
- (27:07) - Histrionic vs. the Other Four Types
- (28:02) - Wrapping Up
- (28:48) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Paranoid
Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!
Histrionic Personality Disorder. It’s all about the drama.
Drama abounds online, on television, in movies, and in everyday life. But have you been around a person who is all drama all the time? With loads of storytelling and emotional persuasion? You may have been around someone with a histrionic high conflict personality.
This type of personality is driven by an intense need to be the center of attention, and when they aren’t, the blame and anger begin. But in the beginning, you may have been charmed by their sometimes flirtatious behavior (not all are this way) and later experienced and been exhausted by their non-stop drama and attention-seeking. Bill and Megan discuss the histrionic high conflict personality type, including:
- Their need to be the center of attention and fear of feeling ignored
- The differences between a self-absorbed person and someone with histrionic high conflict personality traits and behaviors
- Why they exhaust those around them and how others experience their high conflict behaviors
- How to spot them
- Statistics on Histrionic Personality Disorder and histrionic HCPs in the U.S.
Understanding and dealing with Histrionic HCPs takes time, but learning about their fear-based operating system as well as learning a few simple skills – like setting limits – will help calm your life and prevent you from burning out.
If you’ve spent much time around someone with a histrionic high conflict personality, you know how exhausting interactions with them can be. Plus, their M.O. in life is it’s all about me, creating lop-sided relationships and one-way interactions. Setting limits is a key skill in turning that around. The first step is to understand their behavior patterns, starting now.
Send us your stories!
We’d love to hear your stories so we can talk through them on the show! Please visit our site and click the ‘Submit a Question’ button at the top of the page. You can also send us an email at [email protected] or send us a note on any of our socials.
Please rate, review and share this show!
Links & Other Notes
Books:
Conflict Communication Series
- Calming Upset People with EAR
- BIFF
- BIFF for CoParent Communication
- BIFF at Work
- All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books and some in audio format.
On Demand Courses:
Submit a Question for Bill and Megan
You can also find these show notes on our website as well.
- (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
- (02:50) - Histrionic Personality Disorders
- (04:30) - What Is Histrionic Personality Disorder?
- (07:27) - Superficial Speech
- (10:07) - Histrionic Fear
- (11:55) - How Does It Develop
- (13:49) - Helping Your Children Avoid Becoming Histrionic
- (16:35) - Stats
- (18:59) - When In a Relationship With a Histrionic
- (20:10) - In Romantic Relationship
- (21:46) - In the Workplace
- (23:09) - In Summary & Tips
- (24:21) - Common Areas
- (25:49) - Persuasive
- (27:07) - Histrionic vs. the Other Four Types
- (28:02) - Wrapping Up
- (28:48) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Paranoid
Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!
Previous Episode

The Sociopath: Antisocial High Conflict People
The Antisocial Personality Disorder
Have you met this person? Someone who:
- tries to dominate you
- disruptive/volatile
- disregard for laws/social rules
- frequently lie and mislead you
- manipulates
- confuses you
- lacks remorse/empathy/respect for your rights
If so, you might have been around someone with an Antisocial personality. This isn’t the person who stands in the corner during parties –which is often top of mind with the term antisocial. It’s actually Antisocial Personality Disorder (used interchangeably with sociopath). You know... it’s the guy (or gal) who thinks they’re special. He thinks he can park his car anywhere and not be towed. She embezzles from the company or fakes cancer to raise money. He blows up if he does not get the superior treatment he apparently deserves. She has an opinion about everything, hijacks conversations, poo-poos your thoughts and emotions and will lie though her teeth even when she knows she can get caught. Most of all – he wants something from you!
If you think you’ve never been around someone like this, you probably have been... but weren’t aware of what you were dealing with. Those who are married to them or have them as bosses know the confusion they cause and likely have experienced the terror in the pit of your stomach. But, surprise, you were most likely charmed in the beginning. Bill and Megan do a deep dive into the antisocial personality type, exploring:
- their fear-based need to dominate and manipulate others
- why they present with charm at first but are willing to hurt others for personal gain
- why they disregard the rules and laws of society, lack remorse, and have a reckless disregard for risk and danger
- how to spot them
- statistics on Antisocial Personality Disorder and Antisocial HCPs in the U.S
Understanding and dealing with Antisocial HCPs come in layers, and understanding the why they behave that way is the first step.
If you’ve been the Target of Blame for an Antisocial HCP, you know the terror and helplessness they exact and the toll they take. Because they’re highly manipulative and charming, it’s easy to get conned by them. Instead, learning what to watch for is imperative. And if it’s too late and you’re already involved with one, it’s a good idea to get help from an expert. The first step is to understand their behavior patterns, starting now.
Send us your stories!
We’d love to hear your stories so we can talk through them on the show! Please visit our site and click the ‘Submit a Question’ button at the top of the page. You can also send us an email at [email protected] or send us a note on any of our socials.
Please rate, review and share this show!
Links & Other Notes
Books:
All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books and some in audio format.
Training:
- For attorneys: Dealing with Sociopaths: The Con Artists of Divorce
- For attorneys: Personality Disordered Parents & Alienated Children
Articles:
- Do’s and Don’ts for Living with an Antisocial
- How to Survive the Holidays with an Antisocial Relative
- Sociopaths and their Deceptions
Submit a Question for Bill and Megan
You can also find these show notes on our website as well.
- (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
- (02:48) - The Anti-Social Personality
- (03:48) - What Is the Anti-Social Personality?
- (07:53) - Why Do They Rise to th...
Next Episode

Living With Suspicion: Paranoid High Conflict People
Ever been around someone who was ultra-suspicious? Not just the typical accusatory behaviors, but someone who suspects conspiracies against them or that someone doesn’t like them or feels a certain way about them ... all based on an assumption or jumping to conclusions from a facial expression? Well, you just may have been around someone with a paranoid high conflict personality.
This type of personality is driven by a fear of being betrayed, so the rules of their operating system direct them to be suspicious of others. Once their fear button is triggered, whether perceived or real (it feels very real to them), they attack first. The behaviors of those with high conflict personalities all come out at that time: blame, all-or-nothing thinking, unmanaged emotions, and extreme behaviors. Bill and Megan discuss the paranoid high conflict personality type, including:
- Their need to be in control of their surroundings and fear of being betrayed and need to hold grudges
- The differences between paranoid high conflict personality and other paranoias
- How to spot people who may have a paranoid high conflict personality
- Tips for interacting with them, using an EAR StatementTM and BIFF Response®
- Statistics on Paranoid Personality Disorder and Paranoid HCPs in the U.S
Being around someone like this can wear on your nerves and become draining, but it doesn’t have to. In this episode, we continue talking about the five types of people who can ruin your life. In the previous three episodes we talked about Narcissistic, Antisocial and Histrionic HCPs, or high conflict people. In this episode we are talking about Paranoid HCPs. This one has always been a little confusing for people because the other four types can also appear to have paranoia, and other mental health disorders may also experience the same. Paranoid Personality Disorder is a little different.
Links & Other Notes
BOOKS
- 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life
- It’s All Your Fault
- Calming With EAR
- BIFF: Quick Responses to High Conflict People
ARTICLES
- Possible HCP kills former boss, insures lawyer after mediation
- Can high conflict people change?
- Compassion for high conflict people
Submit a Question for Bill and Megan
All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.
You can also find these show notes at our site as well.
Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
- (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
- (02:41) - Paranoid HCPs
- (03:24) - What is Paranoid Personality Disorder?
- (09:34) - Paranoia in HCPs
- (10:47) - Stats
- (11:23) - How They Present Themselves
- (12:47) - The Fear That Drives Them
- (13:46) - Relationships With Paranoids
- (15:29) - Social?
- (19:04) - In the Workplace
- (21:04) - What NOT to Do
- (22:10) - Revenge
- (23:07) - In Summary
- (26:05) - Dealing With Paranoid HCPs
- (29:18) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Borderline HCPs
Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!
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