When Your Spouse Is OK With Settling [97]

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06/13/22 • 47 min

In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the challenges when your spouse is OK with being just OK. We describe our personal journey toward growing together and some principles to guide your breakthrough toward deeper intimacy.

Every marriage has gridlock issues where one spouse is quite content to maintain status quo and the other spouse desires growth and novelty.
Fear is the fundamental reason that responders resist growth. To confront this fear, turn from dwelling on your fears and start to focus on reasons for hope.
Pursuers, stop focusing on what is missing in your marriage and start focusing on your part in creating the dynamic that exists. If you want change, then change yourself.

Extended content and an unedited video recording of this episode is available on Covenant Club: intimatecovenant.com/members
Bowling Green Marriage Day 2022: If you are in the area, we'd love to meet you! Register now, intimatecovenant.com/bg2022
Join us at the 2022 Annual Marriage Retreat, September 22-24, in Houston, TX. Registration is now open, but space is limited and we expect to sell out again. So, register today! www.intimatecovenant.com/retreat

Announcing Covenant Club! Our online community with discussion forums (including husbands-only and wives-only sections), monthly interactive webinars, and other resources to help answer your questions, provide encouragements and learn from other covenant-focused couples. Join us! www.intimatecovenant.com/members

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Cherishing,
Matt & Jenn

PS — If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate
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Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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Every marriage has gridlock issues where one spouse is quite content to maintain status quo and the other spouse desires growth and novelty.
Fear is the fundamental reason that responders resist growth. To confront this fear, turn from dwelling on your fears and start to focus on reasons for hope.
Pursuers, stop focusing on what is missing in your marriage and start focusing on your part in creating the dynamic that exists. If you want change, then change yourself.

Cherishing,
Matt & Jenn

Support the show

Previous Episode

Responders Learning To Initiate [96]

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In this episode, Matt & Jenn offer advice and encouragement for sexual responders to learn to initiate sex sometimes.

It can be a daunting proposition for a sexual responder to initiate a sexual gift for their pursuer spouse. Their anxiety can come from a number of places including a fear of their own sexuality, fear of their spouse’s sexuality, or a general fear of being inadequate.
As a sexual responder, initiating a sexual gift for your pursuer spouse will likely look different than when the pursuer is initiating.
That said, offering a sexual gift to a pursuer can be extremely meaningful and intimate, with tremendous benefit to the relationship.

Join us at the 2022 Annual Marriage Retreat, September 22-24, in Houston, TX. Registration is now open, but space is limited and we expect to sell out again. So, register today! www.intimatecovenant.com/retreat

Cherishing,
Matt & Jenn

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Next Episode

Genital Hygiene & Grooming [98]

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In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss below-the-belt grooming and hygiene -- pros, cons and reasons why you (or your spouse) might want to do it.

Genital grooming and hygiene can be a sensitive topic of conversation because it may trigger feelings of deep shame or rejection.
There are many benefits of genital grooming and hygiene including improved experiences giving and receiving sex. However, there are some important logistical considerations and other downsides.
Whatever the topic of conversation, lean into the awkwardness so that you can learn more about your spouse and their desires, wants and wishes.

Also, check out our recent conversation on the Marriage Puzzle Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/marriage-puzzle/id1575020403
Prayers for Thomas and Juli Holder after the premature birth of their baby -- 1 day after our interview with Thomas.
Join us at the 2022 Annual Marriage Retreat, September 22-24, in Houston, TX. Registration is now open, but space is limited and we expect to sell out again. So, register today! www.intimatecovenant.com/retreat

Cherishing,
Matt & Jenn

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