What Have We Become?

I know we’ve talked several times about current events. We’ve talked about the confusion. We’ve talked about finding little bursts of joy. Today, I’m going to be super open and real with how I’m feeling. I want to preface this by saying these are MY thoughts based on what I’ve been through. Each of us have experienced life a bit differently and that has formed our views on countless topics. But frankly, I’m tired of being silent about today’s topic. I was teetering on whether to make a social media post about it, just stay quiet, or turn it into a podcast. And after lots of thought, prayer, and even sharing with a friend, I’ve decided to bring it here to the show. After all, the great thing about this space is that is it only governed by ME. I can’t be shoved down an algorithm, given a “fact – check” opinion warning, or have this taken down for differing of opinion.

while we all have the right to our own beliefs, as I tell my kids – you can feel however you want to feel – but it’s never okay to treat someone badly, whether in words or actions.

Psalm 127:3 says “children are a gift from the Lord.”

When you love someone, you protect them. You are willing to move heaven and earth to make sure they are taken care of. You put them first. Love is an action. As DC Talk used to say “love is a verb.” (1 Cor 13)

When we were trying to have kids, and were going through fertility treatments, I experienced the gut-wrenching pain as I watched my first pregnancy wash down the toilet. I knew bitterness and anger and yelled out at how unfair life was while others took their own children for granted.

From years of injections and unhealthy habits, I continue to reap the consequences of my choices despite doing better. Do I regret going through treatment? Absolutely not because it gave me my babies. But I do acknowledge that the abuse my body took, both from medications and mentally beating myself up has had life-long results. Some that I may never know are connected to issues I have. It’s the same with habits I had for years. Eating gas station hot dogs at 3am while at work because that’s all that was open and I was desperate for something to quiet the rumbles in my stomach as we hurried off to another call.

Being in EMS, I’ve seen the worst-case scenarios. I’ve treated them. Helped them. Lost them. Heard the fear. Heard the hate. Heard the joy. The relief. That’s not just with 2020 and 2021, that’s over the course of 19 plus years in this career.

When we finally had the joy of holding a real live child in our arms, the fear of being on the other side of an EMS call creeped out of every dark corner. People rolled their eyes and took offense because they didn’t understand the uncontrollable thought process of worry that something wasn’t done right, from a proper car seat to a pool to a new food being fed. The comments of me overthinking and over worrying ran in my head before anyone could say a word.

Whether in EMS or infertility....I’ve seen worst case scenarios and met them head on. I have learned that you MUST be your own advocate when it comes to your health. Common sense tells you that what we put in our bodies, whether food or medicine (or things portraying one of them), either helps or harms – either today or years down the road.

Am I selfish for loving my children enough to put their health and well-being as a priority? Am I selfish for not being willing to take a chance on something hurting them in order to protect someone else? What about what am I teaching them if they don't know how to advocate for themselves?

How are we treating others not just with our actions but with our words? Why are we attacking each other?

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