Imperfectly Pollyanna

I know we’ve talked several times about current events. We’ve talked about the confusion. We’ve talked about finding little bursts of joy. Today, I’m going to be super open and real with how I’m feeling. I want to preface this by saying these are MY thoughts based on what I’ve been through. Each of us have experienced life a bit differently and that has formed our views on countless topics. But frankly, I’m tired of being silent about today’s topic. I was teetering on whether to make a social media post about it, just stay quiet, or turn it into a podcast. And after lots of thought, prayer, and even sharing with a friend, I’ve decided to bring it here to the show. After all, the great thing about this space is that is it only governed by ME. I can’t be shoved down an algorithm, given a “fact – check” opinion warning, or have this taken down for differing of opinion.

while we all have the right to our own beliefs, as I tell my kids – you can feel however you want to feel – but it’s never okay to treat someone badly, whether in words or actions.

Psalm 127:3 says “children are a gift from the Lord.”

When you love someone, you protect them. You are willing to move heaven and earth to make sure they are taken care of. You put them first. Love is an action. As DC Talk used to say “love is a verb.” (1 Cor 13)

When we were trying to have kids, and were going through fertility treatments, I experienced the gut-wrenching pain as I watched my first pregnancy wash down the toilet. I knew bitterness and anger and yelled out at how unfair life was while others took their own children for granted.

From years of injections and unhealthy habits, I continue to reap the consequences of my choices despite doing better. Do I regret going through treatment? Absolutely not because it gave me my babies. But I do acknowledge that the abuse my body took, both from medications and mentally beating myself up has had life-long results. Some that I may never know are connected to issues I have. It’s the same with habits I had for years. Eating gas station hot dogs at 3am while at work because that’s all that was open and I was desperate for something to quiet the rumbles in my stomach as we hurried off to another call.

Being in EMS, I’ve seen the worst-case scenarios. I’ve treated them. Helped them. Lost them. Heard the fear. Heard the hate. Heard the joy. The relief. That’s not just with 2020 and 2021, that’s over the course of 19 plus years in this career.

When we finally had the joy of holding a real live child in our arms, the fear of being on the other side of an EMS call creeped out of every dark corner. People rolled their eyes and took offense because they didn’t understand the uncontrollable thought process of worry that something wasn’t done right, from a proper car seat to a pool to a new food being fed. The comments of me overthinking and over worrying ran in my head before anyone could say a word.

Whether in EMS or infertility....I’ve seen worst case scenarios and met them head on. I have learned that you MUST be your own advocate when it comes to your health. Common sense tells you that what we put in our bodies, whether food or medicine (or things portraying one of them), either helps or harms – either today or years down the road.

Am I selfish for loving my children enough to put their health and well-being as a priority? Am I selfish for not being willing to take a chance on something hurting them in order to protect someone else? What about what am I teaching them if they don't know how to advocate for themselves?

How are we treating others not just with our actions but with our words? Why are we attacking each other?

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When reading over social media posts, I’ve noted a common thing...parents being unhappy with the things their children are having to travel through...whether it be in the current school system or exposures to current events or hot topics. The fact is, our children are confused because the world is confused! They respond based on natural instinct as well as how we have taught them by example and what they are exposed to.

We cannot send our children to Caesar and be surprised when they return as romans! If you are convicted, bothered, upset, stressed, or whatever over what is going on with your children, then stop complaining and bemoaning about it and take action! We can pray all day, and God hears us. However, sometimes I think when we pray, we already know the answer yet think God is silent. We pray for our children’s protection when it comes to helping them learn new skills like riding a bike, swimming, or even as they head off to college. We would never intentionally put them in harms way yet we cry out to God for help when it comes to other challenges. Why do we, as parents or even as individuals, feel powerless when it comes to making decisions for our kids? Are we afraid of messing them up? Are we afraid they will hate us, need therapy as adults, or lose them forever?

While you can learn all the things you may want, or even not want, to know on the internet, there still hasn’t been a rock solid, fool-proof parenting book. I don’t care how great the author is, if they are human, they are imperfect.

So are we. We are imperfect parents, wading our way through each season of life with kids and – do I dare say I’m not the only one who feels both terrified and excited as another one approaches? It’s normal to feel like you’re failing as a parent. Shoot, I’ve felt I’ve failed as a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a woman, and especially as a Christian.

There is a balance in sheltering your child and controlling what they are exposed to or what they’re involved in.

We can’t get away from the world progressing and evolving. The world isn’t going to just suddenly get better. We won’t be able to go back to the “good ol’ days.”

But we also cannot....at least I cannot...just lay down and let the world raise our children. They were put in our care for a reason. We were gifted them to raise. We make mistakes and we need to own them when that happens.

The world would like you to believe that you have no idea what you’re doing. The world tells our kids that we don’t understand them, we will hate them if they are confused about who they are. It wants to cause division, fear, all the things that are NOT from God but then it paints this beautiful picture to show “look at us, we are the ones who love you.” It offers immediate satisfaction of our sinful nature.

We can royally screw up as parents. Our kids can (and will) royally screw up as well. Yet we are all still loved and can be forgiven.

Just because we make mistakes as parents doesn’t excuse us for not doing what we have been called to do. It doesn’t change the fact that we don’t get to just lie down and take it as the world rips our children out of our arms, devouring them like hungry lions.

Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and stand up to the world. Don’t be afraid to have your kid hate you for yanking them out of school and choosing to homeschool. Don’t be afraid to have the difficult talks. Love your children enough to go down fighting for their souls.

I’m not telling you to yell and speak truth in anger. That, my friend, will get you nowhere.

Love. Real love. Is the answer.

Be brave. Do the uncomfortable. Challenge yourself to grow as a parent. There is nothing surprising to God and He has led you to this point and will not abandon you now. When you dive deeper into your relationship with Him, peace and wisdom will come. You can do this.

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Chrissie Kenaston is a military spouse, mom of 3, and author of "What if I Name Her Grace." Life has not been perfect and her marriage has seen more than it's share of difficult moments. Addiction, lack of faith, different paths than her spouse, moving, being alone....Time after time, when there have been moments of desperation, Chrissie found herself in front of the answer she had needed all along.

Today I am speaking about the story behind the book, navigating imperfections as a wife and mother, and what it all comes down to.

Grace.

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Friends, I have something that may shock you......the world will and does hate us because of Him. That is something that will not change. If anything, it will get worse. We are not called to Him in order to have an easier life. We are not called to follow Him in order to be blessed beyond measure. A life following Jesus does not guarantee anything other than eternity with Him in Heaven. Until then, we have the opportunity, and responsibility, to walk a path that is full of blessings AND heartache.

What if we are not eloquent speakers, we don’t know every single verse of the scripture along with all the ins and outs of history? Can’t He just send someone else?

It is not about us but about who HE is. It’s not about us being eloquent, but doing our part to trust Him, trust is plan, and step out in faith to reach the lost in love.

He is who He says He is and He is doing great things. When it comes down it, He knows the big picture and will see it to completion whether we are brave enough to take part in it or not. Look back at Moses. God told Moses, “Go.” And Moses said “but what about....” And had excuses as to why He couldn’t do what He was called to do. God had a plan. God was coming for His children to redeem them. He was going to follow through with that whether Moses said yes or not, so He gave Moses the words, the tools, the help He needed.

It is easy to get wrapped up into the world and what’s going on. We can find ourselves wrapped into social media and scrolling for hours, getting our heart rates up reading posts and comments with arguments of strangers.

What if we spent that same amount of time reading the words that have and will change lives?! As a pastor’s kid, I grew up in the church, heard the bible stories, knew the “answers,” and loved Jesus. I have always loved Jesus. I’ve seen the miracles. I’ve encountered the demon-possessed. I’ve also questioned God. I’ve questioned His love for me. I’ve been angry because it seemed as though He had forgotten me. As though He had abandoned me. I failed Him. Time and again. I’ve cried out and asked God to just take it all away. Take away the pain. The discouragement. The confusion.

When we find ourselves at the crossroads...and sometimes there are several - because life is not just one straight path – we have choices. We can depend on ourselves...after all, isn’t that one of the trending thing now-a-days? Not needing anyone and only depending on yourself to get to the top and get things done. There’s this moment, though, when God allows opportunities for us to make the decision to turn one way or turn towards Him. And oh how He wants us to choose Him. He has the answers. He has the desire to pull us out of slavery. To pull us into His arms and provide, guide, protect, and more than anything, love us.

This world is full of people in love with the dark. Because that’s all they’ve ever known and don’t know any other way to be. Yet, God created them. He knew where they would be in this moment. He has always known we would be in this place, at this time.

We are all HOT MESSES just like the Israelites. This world is full of those who make the wrong decisions, do horrific things, and it may seem that evil is prevailing.

BUT GOD.

Just as he called Moses to go and be a witness to Pharoah so that His people may be set free.

Just as he called the Israelites out of slavery so they may be witness to His power.

Just as he called the disciples to follow Him, despite their back story.

He still calls us today. He calls us to be witnesses. To spread the message of hope. The message of forgiveness. Redemption. Healing.

He is not asking us to just go do it. Like I said earlier, it is not about us, but about who He is. It is not for His sake, but for ours, that He sent His son to show God’s power and love on earth.

Does this mean we go out on social media and argue with every single person who says anything against Christianity or God? Does it mean we shout it out that the world is sinning and they need to turn from their wicked ways while pointing out all the ways they are in the wrong?

I’m not sure shouting has ever done anything for getting a point across unless you’re at a music concert and need to talk to someone or are cheering on the performance.

What I am sure about is this:

Now is NOT the time for us to be weak or silent.

Now is NOT the time for us to waver in our trust in Him.

The same God who sent Moses, provided for Him, plagued the Egyptians, delivered the Israelites...

The same God who called each disciple to follow Him and spread the good news.

That same God calls us today to step out in faith, trust Him, be His witnesses, and reach the lost. We need to be strong, take courage, and dig deep into Him.

We won’t know how to do that if we are going off what we learned about God as a child. We NEED to spend time with H...