The Conjuring, dir. James Wan

Zero and Wiz DO NOT RECOMMEND The Conjuring

If The Conjuring has made me think of one thing after watching, it's the use of the term "Based on a true story" when it comes to describing a film.

For this to really work with that, you would need to have definitive proof that the events in this film actually happened.

That means everything from the demon that possesses the mother to the visions to the ghosts that were throwing the kids across the house.

And if you are skeptical about the whole ghosts and demons thing (like Wiz is), having that could actually make the film much more scary and unsettling.

But even when Andrea Perron, one of the daughters from the family that was supposedly "haunted", even says that the events in the film didn't necessarily happen, you are left with a feeling of being hoodwinked by the film makers.

But honestly, if you have seen enough movies, seeing the words "Based on a true story" doesn't mean that everything in the film happened in the way it says: filmmakers take dramatic and artistic creativity in creating it's story.

But even keeping that in mind, The Conjuring is painfully boring. Both the heroes of the film, Ed and Lorraine Warren played by Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga, are both bland and wooden. The family, led by Ron Livingston and Lili Taylor, aren't really that captivating either with their personalities sanded down to a nice descriptor of "loving family".

Even if you consider the scares, which are little more than cheesy jump scare sequences using camera movement and sound, they are more annoying than they are scary.

Only two things about this film kept me interested: the sound design is actually pretty well done with how they implement the directional sound and the focus on wind and creaking wood.

The other is the use of ghost photography and "evidence collecting". Basing an entire film on this aspect might actually be interesting to watch, but I don't think even having this would save this film from what it really is.

And what is The Conjuring? A cheap, shallow bore of a film that relies on two things from the viewers to enjoy: unquestionable belief that what has happened is real and enjoying jump scares above all else.