How To Sex

Why creepy guys often don't get laid, even at a swingers’ club

By Hord Holm. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

I've been to a Swinger Club on roughly a dozen occasions, so perhaps not enough to count myself as an expert. But perhaps enough to have observed some common behaviors, and these are what I want to address here, particularly in relation to single guys who go to Swinger Clubs.

The Swinger Club Scenario

What usually happens is that my husband suggests that we go to our preferred club about a week ahead of time (or further out, if there is an enticing theme advertised for a particular night.)

We make our reservation, and then I wonder: what kind of night will it be? It will either be a great night, lots of fun with amiable strangers, or it will be a night for just me and my hubby because of a Plague of Creepy Guys, who we will have to spend at least part of the evening avoiding.

But what, pray, does this Plague of Creepy Guys look like?

I need to start by outlining how a Swinger Club will usually be laid out. The Club is most likely divided into three zones.

The first zone is the Bar and Social Zone. Sex might happen there, but the main purpose of this zone is for patrons to relax, buy expensive drinks, which brings in one half of the Club's profit margin, and get to know each other.

The second zone is the Spa Zone, with a sauna, massage area, perhaps a hot tub or even an indoor pool. Sex might happen here, too, but often the Club regulations will prohibit sex in the hot tub or pool, if there is one, for hygiene reasons.

The third zone is the 'Action Zone,' which is where most of the fucking will occur. There will be separate rooms offering greater or lesser privacy, perhaps with themes or pieces of equipment, mirrored walls and ceilings, etc.

On arriving at the Club, the average patron will head for one of the first two areas until they feel like heading for the Action Zone. And it's then that the Plague of Creepy Guys will be encountered. This Plague will most likely be really off-putting to the first couples who enter the Action Zone, though they may be less of an issue once a greater number of couples, or perhaps even threesomes & groups, are scattered about.

But we have to ask a question: why is everyone at the Club?

Well, to get laid, of course! Though there may be the occasional patron who is there more as a voyeur; in which case, the following isn't really addressed to them. And if that's you, then have fun and don't be too creepy about it. Those patrons looking to get laid are divided into three groups; couples, single men, and single women.

However, single women are generally rarer than hen's teeth! I have seen one in the times I've attended clubs, and talking to more regular attendees one in twelve visits is actually better than average. And when we consider it, that's hardly a surprise as it must take some pretty tough chops as a single woman to walk into a Swinger Club and put oneself in that situation without anyone on one's 'side'. Hell, I’m adventurous, but I would never go without my man!

This leaves us with a clientele divided between couples and single guys, and thus there are, by definition, pretty much always more men than women in the Club; unless it's a couples-only night. And this factor, the outnumbering of women by men, is the basis of the Plague of Creepy Guys.

Describing the ‘Creepy Guy’

For the purposes of this piece, the Creepy Guy can be defined as follows: he can be young or old, handsome or a broken-down old wreck, or anything in between, but his defining characteristics are his silence and an air of desperation. He wanders around the Action Zone seeking to interpose himself on couples (or threesomes, or occasionally groups), with his cock in his hand and his mouth hanging half open, and at no point does he say anything.

Now, I get it. Single guys are the bread and butter of Swinger Clubs (indeed, they are the other half of the Club's profit margin). They pay a premium to get in and they want to get their money's worth. Single guys aren't necessarily Creepy Guys, either, but if they are they can be absolute pests.

Perhaps the Creepy guy is proud that he doesn’t spend the money on a cheap hooker or a lap dance. But he sees this entry charge as something which entitles him to a...

The Many Pregnancy Prevention Options

By Everyday Health. Listen to the ► Podcast at How To Sex.

Contraception Options 101: Everything You Need to Know About Birth Control

Here’s the lowdown on pregnancy prevention with pills, patches, implants, and other types of birth control, plus information on effectiveness, availability, cost, and more.

By Cheryl Alkon; By John Paul McHugh, MD courtesy of American College of Lifestyle Medicine

Updated on August 28, 2023

It’s a fact: If you’re a woman, and you have sex with a man, it’s possible you’ll get pregnant. But if you don’t want to have a baby, there are many forms of birth control to help prevent pregnancy.

Birth Control: A Definition and Overview

While abstinence, or refraining from intercourse, is the only way to prevent pregnancy with 100 percent certainty, contraception, or birth control, comes in several different forms, both non-hormonal and hormonal.

Non-hormonal methods generally create a physical barrier between the sperm and the egg; a notable exception is the copper IUD, which changes the uterine environment but does not actually present a physical barrier. Two permanent contraception methods require surgery: sterilization, or tubal ligation, for women and vasectomy for men.

Hormonal methods generally prevent ovulation (the release of an egg), make it more difficult for sperm to enter the uterus, or prevent a fertilized egg from implanting in the uterus.

What’s the Best Birth Control Method?

“It varies, and it depends on you and your lifestyle,” says Keosha T. Bond, an assistant medical professor at The City University of New York School of Medicine in New York City. “I try to explain there’s no one-size-fits-all. It’s more, ‘What can I do, and how does my body react?’ There are so many contraceptive methods out there, but not every one will fit every person.”

How Effective Is Birth Control?

The effectiveness rate of various birth control methods is based on perfect use; meaning the method is used consistently and correctly every single time, and typical use, which includes people who use the method inconsistently or incorrectly.

Knowing what all your birth control options are will help you and your partner choose what works best for you. “I think it’s awesome to be talking about it. A lot of people just don’t know” about birth control, says Christine Carlan Greves, MD, an obstetrician and gynecologist with Orlando Health in Florida.

Birth Control Methods: All Your Contraception Options

Here’s a look at the various kinds of birth control available today.

Hormonal Birth Control

Contraceptive methods that use hormones alter how your body works in order to prevent pregnancy. These range from daily-use options, such as birth control pills, to long-term-use approaches, such as hormonal IUDs, which can stay in place for several years, says Dr. Bond.

Hormonal Contraception Option: Birth Control Pills

There are two types of birth control pills: combination pills that contain both estrogen and a form of progesterone called progestin, as well as progestin-only pills (also known as the mini pill).

The pills work by preventing ovulation, so there is no egg for sperm to fertilize, or by thickening cervical mucus so sperm cannot travel to an egg.

Birth control pills need to be taken every day as directed. Most types of progestin-on...

A discussion of Womens’ Breasts and Sexuality

By CARLY STERN, HANNAH ORENSTEIN, Nondescript In CT, & zipado 321 . Listen to the podcast at How To Sex.

We’ve spent a good amount of time and attention on a man’s physiology and the impact on sexuality. Now lets discuss a woman’s breasts. They are often called tits, a term originating from the French word, tetons. You’ve also heard the terms; boobs, knockers, puppies, milkers, bust, mammaries, and other slang descriptives.

Let’s start by discussing the variety of female mammary glands, worldwide. A global study recently published several findings. Let’s look at what the Daily Mail website has to say.

America, the busty-ful!

By CARLY STERN FOR DAILYMAIL.COM

PUBLISHED: June 2016

Sweet Land of Lib-bra-ty! A new study found that American women have the biggest natural breasts in the world. Scientists measured the breasts of women in 108 countries, excluding anyone who’d had breast surgery, was pregnant, or was breastfeeding.

American women revealed as having the biggest natural breasts in the world, while Brits come in fifth and Filipinos are last.

Researches measured breasts of women born in 108 countries; excluding those who’d had breast surgery, were pregnant, or were breastfeeding. The results clearly found Caucasian United States Americans have, on average, the biggest breasts, followed by Canadians and non-Caucasian U S Americans. Women in Europe tend to have bigger breasts, while women in Africa and Asia (particularly Southeast Asia) have smaller ones.

In a not-entirely-surprising bit of news, American women have been found to have the biggest breasts in the world.

A group of researchers conducted a study; for science; to compare the average natural breast volume of women born in 108 countries. Excluding women who’d had surgery, were pregnant, were breastfeeding, or had been pregnant within the past 12 months, the scientists found that those born in the USA has significantly more ample assets.

In the study published in The Journal of Female Health Sciences, the researchers broke down countries from the bustiest to the most flat-chested, analyzing the mean volume and cup size of each nation.

Nearly 400,000 women around the world were measured for the study, which used EU bra sizing for consistency. While all of the measurements used measuring tape, some also employed ‘visual examination’ and 3D scanning.

Interestingly, the study actually listed averages for Caucasian United States Americans and non-Caucasian United States Americans, finding that Caucasian United States Americans had the highest breast volume of all, with a volume of 1,668ml and a cup size higher than an D, in US sizing.

Non-Caucasian Americans were still found to be quite busty, with an average volume of 1,089ml and a C cup in US sizing.

Again, these measurements exclude women with breast implants, meaning the difference in size is due to natural factors, like hormones in meat (though the study didn’t examine contributing factors).

The researchers did find, however, that obesity played little part in the relative size of breasts; the average breast volume was found to be large regardless of body weight, with even athletic and slim women being large-breasted.

Canadian women followed Caucasian United States Americans; and the average of all Americans; with an average cup size of C.

Ireland came in third, Poland in fourth, and the United Kingdom in fifth, with an average B cup in US sizing) and volume of 879ml.

While there are certainly some outliers, most countries’ average breast size seems to correspond with the region of the world they’re in.

The biggest breasts are ...

Young Brittni shares tips and advice on the art of deepthroating.

By Brittni4u. Listen to the Podcast at How-to Sex.

On the internet in general, there are several stories and guides posted on the subject of giving blowjobs. Many of them are great and give various techniques and opinions on how to enhance oral sex on a guy. Once again, I'm not claiming to be an expert, especially at the young age of 22, but I do have skill, experience and above all, enthusiasm. In this post, I'm focusing on the deepthroating aspect because I feel over time I have gotten pretty good at it and want to pass my knowledge along so that I may help others.

Deep what?

I believe there are three levels of deepthroating, so the answer to all those questions are; yes!

· A stage one deepthroat is the first type I mentioned which most girls can do.

· A stage two deepthroat is more difficult and fewer can keep the cock in their throat for an extended period of time.

· And finally, a stage three deepthroat is the most difficult to perform and a low percentage of people can continually suck a cock while deepthroating it continuously every time they go down.

If you are one of the lucky few that can give your guy a stage three deepthroat, he will be a very happy person. Deepthroating not only allows him to feel his entire cock into a warm, moist orifice, it also excites his mind seeing every inch disappear in your mouth.

My last serious boyfriend had a long cock. It wasn't freakish big, but was just over 8 inches. He couldn't believe how easily I could deepthroat it while I blew him. He became obsessed about it and together we would look up deepthroating porn on the internet.

There are some amazing deepthroating videos out there but no one porn star that I had ever seen was better than a girl named Heather Brooke. Have any of you seen her work? Oh, my god, she is the deepthroat queen, with no peers. If you haven't seen her, I strongly advise looking her up on the internet.

Obstacles to overcome

The two factors that prevent someone from deepthroating are either physical or psychological. The physiological makeup of people is what determines the largest portion of their deepthroating skill. The physical barriers include the gag reflex in which we all hear the most about, throat length, cock thickness which is much more of a hindrance in deepthroating over cock length, among others.

Many times, our skill level is predetermined but I do believe we can improve it. I cannot walk up to Ariana Grande and ask her to teach me to sing as good as she can; no more that I can ask Heather Brooke, ‘Please teach me to deepthroat like you.’

If you don't have the natural ability, you cannot be elite but you can get better and better with practice and it would be a shame to never realize your potential.

Even if you are great at deepthroating cock, it is a physiological certainty that those barriers, I mentioned, will still get in the way sometime. Even the elite will gag, cough, heave and eyes will water at some point during deepthroating. As you perfect your skill, those things will happen less often but they still will happen nonetheless. That is why you would not deepthroat a guy through an entire blowjob. It's physically impossible. I treat deepthroating like it's glitter on a poster. You add a little here and there but it makes the best statement at the end.

I think the psychological hurdle accounts for only a small portion but I wouldn't underestimate the effect it possesses. Girls, we all know when we have crossed over into extreme horniness; or what I call "lust mode." That may happen with alcohol, great foreplay, loving our partner, great lead up sex, or just a really hot guy who knows what he's doing. When you are in that state, that is the best time to attempt deepthroating. Lust mode may shed that "claustrophobic feeling" of having an object lodged in your throat if that is your psychological barrier. When you are uninhibited, you become more daring, experimental, and enthusiastic.

A good blowjob starts and ends with enthusiasm. You have to like sucking cock and you have to want to suck cock. I have questioned my girlfriends at length an...

A discussion of Advanced Maturity and Sexuality

By Mark Stibich, PhD. Listen to the ► podcast at How To Sex.

Many people in their 70s and 80s are not only sexually active, but satisfied with their senior sex lives.

University of Michigan Institute for Healthcare Policy and Innovation. Let’s talk about sex. Though the frequency or ability to perform sexually may decline with age due to physiological changes, these don't necessarily affect how a person experiences or enjoys sex.

This article explores the sex lives of adults 65 and over and the problems that can interfere with sex as the body ages. It also discusses the various treatment options and ways to maintain—or even jumpstart—your senior sex life.

Studies suggest that men are almost twice as likely as women to still have sex or masturbate in their later years. A British study found close to 60% of men ages 70 to 80 and 31% of men ages 80 to 90 are still sexually active. In women, those figures drop to 34% and 14%, respectively.

This lower rate of sexual activity in older women may be due to a lack of opportunity rather than a lack of desire. Research shows that older women are less likely to have partners (due in large part to the fact that they often outlive their partners). This is sometimes referred to as "the partner gap."

It is common for men to experience sexual problems after age 40. Reasons include a natural decline in testosterone levels, heart disease, and prostate problems. The inability to achieve or sustain an erection or reach orgasm or ejaculation are common concerns.

Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction (ED), formerly known as impotence, is the inability to achieve or maintain an erection firm enough for sexual penetration and long enough to achieve orgasm.

While ED is more common in older men, aging itself does not cause the problem. ED is related to conditions, sometimes several at once, that directly or indirectly interfere with erections.

Risk factors include high blood pressure, diabetic nerve damage, smoking, obesity, Peyronie's disease, depression, and even certain medications. An accurate diagnosis is needed to ensure the right treatment.

ED drugs like Viagra (sildenafil), Levitra (vardenafil), and Cialis (tadalafil) are often the first-line treatments for ED. Lifestyle changes and counseling can also help. For some men, hormonal therapy, penis pumps, and penile implants may be recommended.

Is There a Female Viagra?

Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia

Benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) is a non-cancerous enlarged prostate and one of the most common health problems in older males.6 BPH can cause symptoms like difficulty urinating, frequent urination, or waking up in the middle of the night to urinate (nocturia).

On top of this, BPH can cause sexual problems like low libido (low sex drive) and delayed ejaculation (difficulty reaching orgasm).

Among the treatment options, testosterone therapy may help restore libido. There are also certain drugs used off-label that may help with delayed ejaculation, including cabergoline (originally marketed as Dostinex) and Wellbutrin (bupropion).7

Because some ...