How To Sex

An essay on the history of Polyamory.

By darkgoddess2478. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

What is Polyamory?

Polyamory means "loving more than one". This love may be sexual, emotional, spiritual, or a combination thereof, according to the desires and agreement of the individuals involved. "Polyamorous" is also used as descriptive term by people who are open to more than one relationship even if they are not currently involved in more than one. It is behaving in ways which are honest, and which make you, and the people you care about, and the people they care about happy and fulfilled. Polyamory is about building new configurations of relationships, being open to the opportunity if it comes along, not refusing commitments because something better might come loping down the path.

This is an interesting question. What is Polyamory? The definition above states it just simply as "loving more than one". Kathy Labriola defines Polyamory as an intense loving relationship between two or more people. Polyamory literally means many loves. Good enough for the simple definitions that tell you absolutely nothing important. Let's start with where the poly movement began.

Polyamory in the United States began as polygamy with Joseph Smith, the founder of the Mormon religion, or The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Through a series of visions, Smith announced polygamy to his followers as a part of Mormon spirituality in 1843 and Brigham Young publicly announced this practice in 1852. Polygamy allowed men to marry more than one wife as long as he could provide for everyone in his family.

The Mormons were sexually conservative and rejected the ideals of romantic love, intense courtship and contraception. Sex was seen merely as a device for procreation. Extramarital affairs, premarital sex, and all sexual acts that would not directly lead to conception were strictly forbidden and enforced at a cost of death or emasculation. The reasoning stands that polygamy was not for the purpose of sex, but as a way to have as many children as possible.

Since the Christian doctrine did not allow for polygamy, the Mormons were the subject of hate from many sources, mainly Protestant missionaries and women writers who "attempted to emancipate plural wives from their alleged sexual slavery." (D'Emilio and Freedman 117) Even though our country preached freedom of religion, from the 1860's to the 1880's the federal government prosecuted Mormons who practiced polygamy. Given this opposition, the Mormons withdrew their approval for polygamy in 1890.

Most polyamorous families are not all married to one another. There is usually a primary couple who are married and the others who consider themselves married, but do not have an actual marriage certificate. Some of the families live together and others have separate living quarters where the father and husband visit frequently. In the families that live together, the child rearing and household responsibilities are shared. In all ethical cases, all the wives know about each other and support the decision of their husband taking on the new partner.

Kathy Labriola, a counselor and nurse, defines Polyamory as "an intense loving relationship between members of the same sex or those of the opposite sex". Some polyamorous people are married, others are single: Polyamorous people may be heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. The Polyamorous system does not have to be a sexual system, but it can be.

Most of the cynicism given to Polyamory is due to people thinking Polyamory is for sexual practices. Kilbride in "Plural Marriage for our Times: A Reinvented Option?" states, In linking sexuality to marriage we generally view having multiple marital partners, as resulting predominately from sex drive.

Of the various reasons why plural marriage occurs, a sexual outlet is minimized within a wider, more general body of needs and functions considered important for both individuals and the wider society. This statement agrees that the practice of polygamy is not about sex. As was stated earlier, the Mormons used polygamy as a way of advancing their religion and baptizing their ancestors, not for greater sexual acts. The people who practice Polyamory today use Polyamory as a means of freedom of expression and bettering themselves as people. Since they have found tha...

A discussion of Womens’ Breasts and Sexuality

By CARLY STERN, HANNAH ORENSTEIN, Nondescript In CT, & zipado 321 . Listen to the podcast at How To Sex.

We’ve spent a good amount of time and attention on a man’s physiology and the impact on sexuality. Now lets discuss a woman’s breasts. They are often called tits, a term originating from the French word, tetons. You’ve also heard the terms; boobs, knockers, puppies, milkers, bust, mammaries, and other slang descriptives.

Let’s start by discussing the variety of female mammary glands, worldwide. A global study recently published several findings. Let’s look at what the Daily Mail website has to say.

America, the busty-ful!

By CARLY STERN FOR DAILYMAIL.COM

PUBLISHED: June 2016

Sweet Land of Lib-bra-ty! A new study found that American women have the biggest natural breasts in the world. Scientists measured the breasts of women in 108 countries, excluding anyone who’d had breast surgery, was pregnant, or was breastfeeding.

American women revealed as having the biggest natural breasts in the world, while Brits come in fifth and Filipinos are last.

Researches measured breasts of women born in 108 countries; excluding those who’d had breast surgery, were pregnant, or were breastfeeding. The results clearly found Caucasian United States Americans have, on average, the biggest breasts, followed by Canadians and non-Caucasian U S Americans. Women in Europe tend to have bigger breasts, while women in Africa and Asia (particularly Southeast Asia) have smaller ones.

In a not-entirely-surprising bit of news, American women have been found to have the biggest breasts in the world.

A group of researchers conducted a study; for science; to compare the average natural breast volume of women born in 108 countries. Excluding women who’d had surgery, were pregnant, were breastfeeding, or had been pregnant within the past 12 months, the scientists found that those born in the USA has significantly more ample assets.

In the study published in The Journal of Female Health Sciences, the researchers broke down countries from the bustiest to the most flat-chested, analyzing the mean volume and cup size of each nation.

Nearly 400,000 women around the world were measured for the study, which used EU bra sizing for consistency. While all of the measurements used measuring tape, some also employed ‘visual examination’ and 3D scanning.

Interestingly, the study actually listed averages for Caucasian United States Americans and non-Caucasian United States Americans, finding that Caucasian United States Americans had the highest breast volume of all, with a volume of 1,668ml and a cup size higher than an D, in US sizing.

Non-Caucasian Americans were still found to be quite busty, with an average volume of 1,089ml and a C cup in US sizing.

Again, these measurements exclude women with breast implants, meaning the difference in size is due to natural factors, like hormones in meat (though the study didn’t examine contributing factors).

The researchers did find, however, that obesity played little part in the relative size of breasts; the average breast volume was found to be large regardless of body weight, with even athletic and slim women being large-breasted.

Canadian women followed Caucasian United States Americans; and the average of all Americans; with an average cup size of C.

Ireland came in third...

Recklessness ruptured my plumbing, and permanently curtailed my sex life.

By Anonymous. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

I Fucked up.

I am writing this mainly because there is not a lot of information about this particular injury

Around October of last year I was having sex with my girlfriend, when I thrust too hard at the wrong angle and tore my Urethra and two blood vessels in my penis.

When the injury first occurred I was close to climaxing. Because of this, when the injury happened and the blood vessels and urethra were torn, blood started mixing into my urethra. I was cumming blood

I was not in pain but I could feel that my dick was not pointing in the right direction and turned on the lights, blood was everywhere and pouring out of me at an alarming rate (think you’re cumming but it doesn’t stop and its blood)

At this point I’m panicking and yell out that I need to go to the hospital immediately.

I throw on loose pants without zipping them up, a hoodie, and grab a towel to soak the blood that’s coming out. Then me and my girl go to the hospital.

The hospital near me specialized in bodily injury and doesn’t have the type of urologist doctor that I need to see, so I have to drive 30 minutes away to the closest hospital that has a Urology department.

Once I get to this secondary hospital, I am immediately taken in and put into a room of my own once they see my dick; and about an hour later I see a Urologist who runs some tests and tells me about the ruptured urethra and blood vessels.

I need surgery.

The surgery is a process called “de gloving” where they “de-glove” the skin around your penis, roll it down, and make an incision into the underside of the skin and go in and stitch up the torn vessels and urethra, these are dissolvable stitches and they stay in your penis until they go away on their own.

About 8 hours later I actually went into surgery, I don’t remember anything. I was wheeled into the operating room and the anesthesiologist cracked a dumb joke, and then I was out.

I woke up with my penis wrapped up in bandages and a catheter in me. If you have never had to use a catheter, count yourself lucky. I was told I needed to keep the catheter in for 10 days.

These were the longest 10 days of my life. If you asked me what the pain was on a scale of 1-10, it was 7 with the opioids, and 11 without them.

Any little movement with my penis and I got searing pain. Wearing any type of clothes was out because I just could not take it, I was pretty much naked during those ten days. Anytime the catheter twisted? Pain. Anytime I had to roll out of bed to go get something from the fridge? Pain.

Worst of all? Erections.

As the men reading this will know, erections are not really voluntary, we just get them sometimes. Morning wood is a real thing and its not controllable.

Want to know what getting an erection feels like when you have stitches in your dick and a catheter? Worse than words could ever explain.

I woke up screaming three times a night. I would tear something and I could see the stale blood along the catheter as my erections came and went. The blood became crispy, and if I didn’t clean it when it happened, the next erection would be 5 times as painful because it would grow along the stale, sharp leftover blood on the catheter.

I quickly learned how to kill erections, but it was still really bad. I’m actually leaving out some details because I’m not fully recovered yet and the phantom pain comes back as I’m trying to recall it.

As of today, I have the catheter out and can walk around again, but erections are still painful, I imagine that will go away in the next few weeks.

Yes, You Really Can Fracture a Penis shaft — Here's What That Means

Proceed with caution if you're squeamish.

BY SOPHIE SAINT THOMAS - 2018

There are a lot of sexual myths out there, but doctors confirm that broken penises aren't one of them. Remember when Lexie Grey supposedly broke Mark Sloan's penis back when all our favorite characters on Grey's Anatomy were still alive? Nope, Shonda Rhimes wasn't making that up. While there aren't actually bones in the penis, a penile fracture is a real-life injury. We spoke to several urologists to learn how it happens, what a broken penis looks like, and how to treat one.

What exactly is a fractured penis (often known as a "broken dick")?

First, a quick refresher on what inside a penis can break in the first place: A penis co...

Why creepy guys often don't get laid, even at a swingers’ club

By Hord Holm. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

I've been to a Swinger Club on roughly a dozen occasions, so perhaps not enough to count myself as an expert. But perhaps enough to have observed some common behaviors, and these are what I want to address here, particularly in relation to single guys who go to Swinger Clubs.

The Swinger Club Scenario

Describing the ‘Creepy Guy’

Tie up your man and go to town.

By alf_2712. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

Bondage sex is often associated with Sado Masochism. But that vaste generalization does a great disservice to a wide range of sexual proclivities. Each part of this grouping ought to be understood on it’s own attributes.

Bondage is simply adding real or perceived restrictions in a sexual encounter. It’s the fantasy of lost control over a situation which thrills many lovers. It often incorporates a fantasy scenario and some role-playing.

Sadism is the infliction of discomfort to a lover.

Masochism is a self-inflicted discomfort.

Today we’re hearing from Alfie, about her lover’s favorite kink. He allows himself to be restrained and subjected to sexual frustration, in the form of a very delayed ejaculation.

Healthy lovemaking of this sort may include switching roles, or may remain in fixed roles of a dominant & a submissive.

Sometimes it’s only a fantasy desired by one of them, yet the other lover plays a role simply to satisfy the other’s sexual sesires. Here’s Alfie.

My favorite Tease & Denial plot.

Spread eagle is my definitely my favorite bondage position. I love it. Tying at the feet is not always necessary, but the hands, absolutely. Even though a pair of cuffs in the middle do have their place, I’m a firm believer in hands at the corners. Some sort of strapping under the bed, whatever; we just want his arms out. Face up, of course.

You will need:

n a bed big enough for both of you

n some kind of restraint system already attached at all four corners of the bed frame, to tie his limbs outward, toward the four corners of the bed

n a bowl or basket containing:

A: a bottle of tasty massage oil,

B: a cock ring, and

C: a feather, furry mitt, or something which is very ticklish.

Besides these, the following are preferred;

n big tits If you’ve got them

n and minty gum can be nice.

No need for a blindfold. believe me, his eyes are your friend. You might also keep a glass of water, gotta keep those spit and sweat glands pumping. Ice water if you’re a bitch.

And a word on gagging. it’s up to you! But if you’re gonna gag, gag properly (i.e. rubber is better than your thong). Let’s get started! But let him breathe freely. His muffled voice is more for your experience of domination.

Get your man on your bed. Your face and hairdo should be impeccable and sultry, with lipstick mascara, and whatever else makes you look like a high-class slut. But somehow keep your hair from falling into your face on onto his oily body.

You want his to see your impeccable face and styled hair for the entire event.

If there’s a clock in the room, hide it.

Get him on his back and give him a kiss. A pillow under his head is good. And he’s naked, right? Completely naked? Dote on him and ask if he likes the position of the pillow. This doting just camouflages the torment you have planned for today.

You don’t have to be also naked, yet; but let your clothing help set a sensual mood. A Silky robe or his favorite lingerie is a good choice to start with.

Make focused attention on his comfort before you gently attach the restraints. Adjust the wrist restraints so you can fit one finger between the material and his skin. You want barely any wiggle room in his arms.

And his legs? Well, that’s up to you. Being bound on the bed and all accessible is going to make him squirm whether his legs are forced straight or not. I say leave em. But he might accidently hurt you if he suddenly flinches his legs.

Once all restraints are attached, extend each of his limbs and tighten the length up, so he’s truly spread-eagle and limited from squirming around during the event.

Tease and denial is the name of the game here. Or “edging” if you like. And edging it is.

We’ll be taking him right to the edge of an orgasm, more than a few times.

You know you’re doing well if you lose count. I hope your blowjob skills are up to date, ‘cause tongue is king here. Not to say it’s your only asset (it’s not). but subjecting him to excruciating pussy-torture can come a bit later.

In case it’s not clear already, this guide is written from a woman’s perspective; so if you’re not one, some parts o...