How To Deal With Grief and Trauma - 11 Callie Hawkins | Creating a Legacy

11 Callie Hawkins | Creating a Legacy

09/05/22 • 41 min

Today I speak with Callie about the loss of her first son Coley and how she created a legacy by creating an exhibition at Present Lincoln’s Cottage in Washington, DC. Listen to Callie describing how she learned to intentionally grieve. One thing to definitely look out for in this episode is how she experiences grief loving her back.

Callie says:

‘One thing I wish I had known was that it is still possible to have a relationship with your loved one who has died. It's certainly not a relationship that you anticipate. It's not the relationship that you even necessarily wanted or had dreamed of or could have imagined. It is beautiful all at the same time.’

About this week’s guest

Callie Hawkins is a grief activist and bereaved mother whose son, Coley, died of unexplained stillbirth in February 2018 -- one day after his due date. In her professional role as Director of Programming at President Lincoln's Cottage -- a historic site and museum in Washington, DC where President Abraham Lincoln and his family moved after the death of their son, Willie -- Hawkins curated Reflections on Grief and Child Loss, an exhibit that connects the Lincoln family's experience with the deaths of their children with modern families who have lost children across age and experience. Callie, her husband Jason and their living son, Fletcher, live with a deep and abiding love for Coley in the greater Washington, DC area.

Topics discussed in this episode

Callie’s son Coley dying from stillbirth
Guilt and shame
Coley’s legacy
Grief loving me back
Intentional grieving
Exhibition at Lincoln’s Cottage

Resources mentioned in this episode

Reflections on Grief and Child Loss, exhibit at President Lincoln's Cottage
Video of the exhibit
Washington Post article about the exhibit
Callie's article My Grief is My Superpower

About this week’s guest

Topics discussed in this episode

Callie’s son Coley dying from stillbirth
Guilt and shame
Coley’s legacy
Grief loving me back
Intentional grieving
Exhibition at Lincoln’s Cottage

Resources mentioned in this episode

Reflections on Grief and Child Loss, exhibit at President Lincoln's Cottage
Video of the exhibit
Washington Post article about the exhibit
Callie's article My Grief is My Superpower

Links

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Support the show

Find support:

Transforming Your Grief Course

Support the show:

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Join Facebook Group - Grief and Trauma Support Network
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Previous Episode

10 Kelsey Chittick | Looking at Death Differently

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Today I speak with Kelsey about the loss of Nate, her husband, and the journey Kelsey took as part of dealing with his loss. She believes that: ‘The bigger the grief, the luckier you were.’ Kelsey shares so many different nuggets of wisdom that I found it hard to choose one to share with you below. Her way of looking at death and loss is different too many and honestly is refreshing. It will invite you to open your thinking and feeling about grief and trauma in a way you might never have thought to be possible.

Here is just one of Kelsey’s nuggets of wisdom:

‘If you can take the bad out of dying, whether it is suicide or sudden loss or sickness. If you can trust on some level, there's something bigger going on here. Just like when you're having that child and you are birthing it, you're in so much pain you think you're dying. But there's something bigger going on here... It gives you a little space to go: Maybe there's a different way to walk through this.’

About this week’s guest

Kelsey Chittick is a writer, comedian, and inspirational speaker. Over the past 14 years, she has performed stand-up comedy all over Los Angeles and speaks at events around the country. She is the author of the best seller Second Half - Surviving Loss and Finding Magic in the Missing, a book about the sudden death of her husband in 2017.

She is the host of Mom’s Don’t Have Time to Grieve Podcast and was the co-creator of KeepON, an inspiring and humorous podcast that explored how our greatest obstacles turn out to be our greatest gifts.

Growing up in Florida, Kelsey was an accomplished student and athlete—an NCAA Championship individual qualifier and captain of the UNC women’s swimming team. She was married to Super Bowl champion Nate Hobgood-Chittick.

Instagram:

@kelseydchittick
@momsdonthavetimetogrieve

Topics discussed in this episode

Kelsey’s husband Nate’s death from an enlarged heart and CTE (Chronic traumatic encephalopathy)
Dealing with the early stage and the physical experience of grief
Grief happening versus deciding when to grieve
Death being the greatest teacher
Grief growing up with us
Living the best life in honor of them

Resources mentioned in this episode

Kelsey’s book Second Half - Surviving Loss and Finding Magic in the Missing

Links

--> For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website.

--> Subscribe

Support the show

Find support:

Transforming Your Grief Course

Support the show:

Become a supporter of the show! Starting at $3/month
Join Facebook Group - Grief and Trauma Support Network
Download the FREE grief resource eBook
Book a Discovery Call
Leave a review

Follow on socials:

Next Episode

12 SPECIAL: Nathalie with Chris | Grief Eleven Years Later

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Today I speak with my ex-husband and the father of our children. We reflect on eleven years since the death of our younger twin daughter A’Mya. In doing this we are spending time speaking about her, honoring her place in our lives, and, as I’d like to see it: spending time parenting her.

Our conversation was moving and opened my eyes to parts of Chris’ grief that I wasn’t aware of.

Chris says the following about his personal experience of grief:

‘It is a constant thing; it never goes away. It often pops up in little moments, sometimes catches you unexpectedly and all of a sudden, it’s like: Oh, I wasn't thinking about these things and here it is. And I think that will happen all my life. You know, there's going to be all sorts of key moments in Ananda Mae's life where I'll be wondering what would have been like two of them, what would A’Mya have been like. How would she have been? I think that's natural.’

I, Nathalie cannot say this often enough:

‘I think that is so important for people to understand that this is not something that goes away. It's just like my mother she will always be my mother and there are key moments that I miss her more and then key moments where it is less present. But this is not going to go away because she's dead. Part of her not being here present physically is a topic, the same way as for me, for you, for Ananda Mae, it's a topic that her sister is not growing up with her.’

About this week’s guest

Chris and Nathalie are the parents of Ananda Mae and A’Mya, twin girls who do not grow up with each other. As their parents, they do their best at raising one here on earth and the other in the beyond, wherever that is.