Finding the Humor Inside of Tragedy with Comedian Kellye Howard

Explicit content warning

06/22/23 • 46 min

Calling Kellye Howard resilient doesn’t quite capture her ability to triumph in the face of relentless challenges. The stand up comic/actor/speaker turns even the darkest of tragedies into stories that will leave you hanging on every word. Her journey of healing through laughter–and lots of therapists–is epic, and her willingness to try anything once (except beef, pork and scorpions) will inspire you to do the same. In this episode, we’re unpacking what it takes to find yourself–and follow your passion–no matter what challenges life throws your way. Kellye takes us through the many different lives she’s lived, and we uncover truths such as:

The pain we carry from trauma doesn’t go away until we face it head on– it will keep showing up in other places until we do
It’s vital to remember your successes in life just as much–if not more–than the failures
Doing what you’re passionate about is a powerful medicine. In many cases, it can be lifesaving
When you’re passionate about something–keep at it, no matter what you’ve been through or how long you’ve taken a break from it. This next try could be your best yet
Don’t let your past dictate who you could become
Sometimes, it’s helpful to view adversity as an opportunity to grow closer to your authentic, best self
One form of healing is likely not going to be the one that fixes it all–healing is a cumulative process, and you are the result of every step you take towards that healing–whether that be trying out different therapists or going to see a witch–all of it adds to your growth
Seek lasting joy instead of fleeting happiness–it will ensure that your cup is half full even on your worst days

Make sure to follow Kellye’s socials for details about her upcoming one woman show, “Crazy Or Nah,” in theaters later this year, and listen to her podcast “Be Less Petty” using this link, or find it wherever you get your podcasts. You can also watch her in the TV series “Power Book IV: Force” on Starz, Amazon Prime, or Hulu.

Want more Kellye? Learn more about her here. While you’re at it, find her online:

Website: https://www.kellyehoward.com/

Socials: @kellyehoward on every platform

Want more Hotter Than Ever? Find us online at www.hotterthaneverpod.com and sign up for our mailing list!

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hotterthaneverpod/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@hotterthaneverpod

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChwbEXbAVqoNYd_g5ok7VPg

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090728330453

Follow Hotter Than Ever wherever you listen to podcasts - we’re on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and more! That way you’ll never miss an episode.

We’d love to hear what you think about the show, too - it helps us know what stories are resonating with you. DM us on Instagram and head over to Apple Podcasts to write your review!

The pain we carry from trauma doesn’t go away until we face it head on– it will keep showing up in other places until we do
It’s vital to remember your successes in life just as much–if not more–than the failures
Doing what you’re passionate about is a powerful medicine. In many cases, it can be lifesaving
When you’re passionate about something–keep at it, no matter what you’ve been through or how long you’ve taken a break from it. This next try could be your best yet
Don’t let your past dictate who you could become
Sometimes, it’s helpful to view adversity as an opportunity to grow closer to your authentic, best self
One form of healing is likely not going to be the one that fixes it all–healing is a cumulative process, and you are the result of every step you take towards that healing–whether that be trying out different therapists or going to see a witch–all of it adds to your growth
Seek lasting joy instead of fleeting happiness–it will ensure that your cup is half full even on your worst days

Want more Kellye? Learn more about her here. While you’re at it, find her online:

Website: https://www.kellyehoward.com/

Socials: @kellyehoward on every platform

Want more Hotter Than Ever? Find us online at www.hotterthaneverpod.com and sign up for our mailing list!

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hotterthaneverpod/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@hotterthaneverpod

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChwbEXbAVqoNYd_g5ok7VPg

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090728330453

Follow Hotter Than Ever wherever you listen to podcasts - we’re on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and more! That way you’ll never miss an episode.

We’d love to hear what you think about the show, too - it helps us know what stories are resonating with you. DM us on Instagram and head over to Apple Podcasts to write your review!

Previous Episode

How to Stop Judging Our Bodies and Finally Live Shame-Free

If you have even been convinced that you needed to lose weight before you went after that next relationship, promotion or achievement of any kind, you are not alone. In this episode, we’re renegotiating the qualifications it takes to have a “successful” body. The answer? Making peace with the body you’re in right now. Erin walks us through her journey of overcoming an unhealthy relationship with food and self-image, and after years of diets, weight fluctuation, 12 step programs, and searching for a higher power...she’s here to assure you that you are more than capable of finding success and love at any size. Your body is not deviant, incorrect, or unlovable. And neither are you.

Through this journey, we’ll be exploring subjects such as:

How our belief systems and the narratives we allow our subconscious to tell us limit what we think we’re capable of in life
Overcoming the judgment of a gorgeous family that finds chubbiness unacceptable
The reality behind trading your health and a normal functioning body to achieve what is ultimately a temporary ideal body shape
The dangers of internalizing the message “to be thin is to be lovable”
Unlearning the belief that it’s our job as women to control our weight and our bodies
Internalizing the truth that (shocker) men actually like women’s bodies, and not just one specific kind
Demystifying the dominance the scale has on the lives of many women, and realizing that those numbers mean absolutely nothing
Understanding that it’s important to live well and take care of your health, but that a large part of being well is not being so f*cking mean to yourself!

Want more Hotter Than Ever? Find us online at www.hotterthaneverpod.com and sign up for our mailing list!

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/hotterthaneverpod/

TikTok:https://www.tiktok.com/@hotterthaneverpod

Youtube:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChwbEXbAVqoNYd_g5ok7VPg

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090728330453

Follow Hotter Than Ever wherever you listen to podcasts - we’re on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and more! That way you’ll never miss an episode.

Next Episode

Dating and App Culture: Options, Acronyms, and WTF is Compersion?

Romance has gone through a big operating system update recently. Now that Erin’s been released from captivity (aka her long marriage), she’s giving us a highly subjective, hopefully handy survival guide to this new, evolved ecosystem of love. But in order to redefine our beliefs around love, romance and dating, we’ll first have to define some terms. It’s easy to get tangled in the wires of all this new-age romance, especially when there’s all this new, at times nerdy terminology that goes with it (WTF is a polycule?). Open your notebooks, everyone, because today we’ll be giving you lessons such as:

The 411 on dating apps: which ones are right for you, depending on your wants and needs
What it means that people are questioning monogamy–now that partnerships are lasting longer than ever
What it’s like to begin that process of unlearning implicit biases around relationship structures and opening your belief system to consider options other than monogamy
How people in unconventional relationships may be using layers of language to intellectualize something that’s likely to be very challenging emotionally
There’s not just one way of being, anyone can re-assess and re-define what they think about love and monogamy at any time–and you can do that too!
When it comes to love and desire, all bets are off. It’s a choose your own adventure life now, and it’s time to make the most of yours

Here’s an index of terms we discuss in this episode, for reference:

GGG: “Good Giving and Game.” Someone who is good in bed, committed to giving equal pleasure, and is up for anything

ENM/CNM: Ethical/Consensual Non-Monogamy. People who want to be/sleep with multiple people at a time, but don’t want to be dishonest about it.

Polyamory: The practice of engaging in multiple romantic (and typically sexual) relationships, with the consent of all the people involved.

Primary/nesting Partner: The partner you are most committed/attached to in a polyamorous relationship. If they are your “nesting partner,” that means you live with them.

NRE: “New Relationship Energy.” That feeling in a new relationship when you’re deeply infatuated with someone and it’s borderline obsessive

Compersion: Experiencing or feeling joy for your partner when they are excited about a new relationship or turned on by a new sexual thing they’re experiencing with someone other than you

Polycule: A group of three or more people in a relationship together

Unicorn: A third party sexual partner that you and your partner bring in to your sexual and/or romantic relationship

Relationship escalator: A relationship that builds upwards towards linear goals (ie. moving in together, having children, etc)

Want more Hotter Than Ever? Find us online at www.hotterthaneverpod.com and sign up for our mailing list!

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hotterthaneverpod/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@hotterthaneverpod

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChwbEXbAVqoNYd_g5ok7VPg

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090728330453

Follow Hotter Than Ever wherever you listen to podcasts - we’re on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and more! That way you’ll never miss an episode.

We’d love to hear what you think about the show, too - it helps us know what stories are resonating with you. DM us on Instagram @hotterthaneverpod and head over to Apple Podcasts to write your review!