Hope for the Caregiver

Joining the show is Tiffany Cloud-Mantooth from the Alzheimer's Association - Mid South Chapter. This disease wreaks havoc on patients and caregivers alike, and in this show we explore the disease, how to deal with it, and ways to shore up the strength of caregivers. We had several calls, but a bit of a technical problem recording them ...so we apologize in advance for not being to include those callers.

If caregivers mapped out a decision tree for our daily lives, it would look like a forest. Each day we’re faced with numerous choices – and most seem filled with unpleasant outcomes. Sometimes the decisions before us have a paralyzing effect, and we don’t know what to do next.

In those moments, we serve ourselves well to choose the next right thing as our action step. The big problems become more approachable when our heads and hearts calm down.

For that to happen, our decisions require “reduction.”

Unlike the giant single unpleasant task of “eating the elephant one bite at a time,” decision reduction helps us focus by redirecting our eyes from the myriad of choices to the micro-steps in our path. Maybe the next right thing is to drink some water, sit down with a bowl of soup, take a nap or even go on a walk. Although the problem usually remains, we tackle it better with a calmer and more disciplined mind.

When offered this path, we invariably know the next right thing to do; we just usually need permission – not from others but ourselves.

The Bible supports this when affirming that God’s word is “...a lamp unto my feet.”

It’s a lamp – not a searchlight. Do the next right thing – with the light provided.

“Not until we are lost do we being to understand ourselves.”- Henry David Thoreau.

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In the 1985 Western Silverado, Sheriff John Langston (played by British actor John Cleese) obligingly led a posse after two brothers following the breakout of one from the town jail. While chasing the men (whose crimes were questionable), the posse rounded a bend to unexpected gunfire from one of the brothers' companions. As his deputy urged them to push on by yelling, "... they're almost out of our jurisdiction," a bullet clipped the sheriff's hat and sent it flying.

Turning his horse around, Cleese states in his wonderfully clipped British accent, "Today, my jurisdiction ends here!"

Returning to town, Sheriff Langston lived to fight another day.

Sometimes, our jurisdiction as caregivers requires reassessing. Many can recall feeling pressure (either from others or ourselves) to "right a wrong," seek satisfaction or try to force an issue. Yet that pressure can lead us outside our scope of responsibility. Leaving our territory can easily result in unpleasant circumstances – for us, our loved ones, and others.

At times, the temptation to chase after the "...ones that got away" can feel compulsory. In those moments, we serve ourselves well by asking, "How important is this?'

Addressing that question helps reestablish our jurisdiction – and can allow us to fight another day.

“You got to know when to hold 'em, Know when to fold 'em, Know when to walk away, And know when to run.” – The Gambler, Don Schlitz

Covering a lot of ground in this episode as I delve into how we choose to view our circumstances as caregivers in light of what Scripture teaches.

www.hopeforthecaregiver.com

While recuperating in Denver's University of Col. Medical Center, a young woman came into Gracie's room with a guitar and introduced herself as Sophie - and a music therapist. 

Gracie asked where she went to school, and she said, "A school in Nashville." 

Pressing her further, Sophie stated she went to Belmont University.  Gracie's smile lit up the room and she explained to Sophie, 'Peter and I went to Belmont - that's where we met." 

As we shared with Sophie our long life in Nashville, she was delighted to compare notes and share experiences with fellow Belmont students (although we attended YEARS before she was born!)

I asked Sophie to share a bit of her story and work as a music therapist.