Coming Clean

Explicit content warning

04/20/23 • 28 min

Hollywood Confessional

TRIGGER WARNING: This week's story involves drug use. If this could be distressing to you, please skip this episode and join us next week.
“I’m at a party. Somebody goes into their pocket and pulls out five or six pills. And I take all of them, and I eat them. About 15 minutes later, I’m not feeling good. I think I’m about to throw up. I’m by the sink. I look in the cupboard, and there’s a filter. So I grab a coffee filter. I lean over the sink, and I throw up into the coffee filter. And then I squeeze it, open the filter. And there are the pills. And I take the pills and take a beer, and I swallow them again. That’s the kind of addict I was.”
In today’s episode, we hear from an actor whose brilliant career fell apart due to their addictions to drugs and alcohol. From booking several roles a month at 19 to becoming a final contender for a series lead, our confessor’s meteoric rise coincided with an increasingly habit of using... which ultimately brought it all crashing down.
“I thought talent was everything. I thought, I’m not the first guy to have issues with drugs or alcohol. Let’s figure it out. I’m worth it. But within a few years, I had nothing. I blew all the money. I didn’t have anything left.”
Redemption didn’t come easily for our confessor. They continued to book roles because of their talent, but marijuana and cocaine eventually led to more ravaging addictions... and trouble with the law. They only survived, as our confessor puts it, because angels were looking out for them... just long enough to bring our confessor to the point where they were ready to get the help they needed.
In this episode, we hear how addiction can completely take over the life of an artist, and at least one of the reasons why. We also hear a profoundly moving tale of redemption, as our confessor finally figures out what it takes to come clean.
"Coming Clean" is very important to us, and we hope this story will inspire our fellow entertainment industry professionals who are also struggling with addiction. Let us know what you think on Twitter or Instagram @fessuphollywood. And please leave us a review and rating here! We’ll be back in two weeks with another episode of Hollywood Confessional.
Other episodes we think you'll enjoy:
“The Comeback” - A fearless aspiring filmmaker scores a job directing a studio feature right out of college. But when it turns out not to be the big break they expect, they must f

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Hollywood Confessional is a Ninth Way Media production, produced by Meagan Daine and J.R. Zamora-Thal.
Sound Effects and Music provided by Zapsplat and Pixabay.
Keywords: filmmaking podcast, film podcast, screenwriting podcast, entertainment podcast, Hollywood, filmmaking, writerslife, actorslife, setlife

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Previous Episode

The Dangers of Do It Yourselfing

Ever thought about making your own movie? Maybe considered the advice “If you want to be a filmmaker, just shoot a film!” It sounds simple. But take it from our confessor: Do-it-yourselfing can be a dangerous (and expensive) business!
In this week’s confession, we hear from a gung-ho aspiring director who gets tired of
waiting for something to happen in their career and decides to take action to achieve theirdream. Unlike some Hollywood hucksters, however, our confessor isn’t comfortable claiming to be something they’re not. So they do it the hard way...
“My level of work ethic, first, and dignity, second, tells me I cannot wear a title if I
have not earned it. But I started to realize the things I wanted to do cost money.
Like, a LOT of money.”
After years of frustration, they join a collective of artists who claim they’re all going to
volunteer time to work on each other’s short films... only to discover that no one in the group wants to produce. So our confessor realizes that if they want to direct, they’re going to have to do the whole thing on their own.
“If I don’t move the needle, nothing will move. Because who’s going to do it? Who’s
going to do anything for me if I don’t do it for myself?”
Determination and self-reliance lead our confessor down a path riddled with crazy
setbacks and miraculous breakthroughs. Ultimately the film gets made... but will it make their career?
In this episode, we get into the following:
1. How to make your own short film
2. How to work with actors (when they don’t want to work with you)
3. How to deal with setbacks in your creative career
As content creators ourselves, this story really resonates with us. We’d love to hear what you think! Shoot us a note about when you tried to make your own film @fessuphollywood, or leave us a review here.
Other episodes we think you'll enjoy:
“The Comeback” - A fearless aspiring filmmaker scores a job directing a studio feature right out of college. But when it turns out not to be the big break they expect, they must find a way to stay in the game through 25 years of diminishing returns.

"Clipboard Girl" - A tough aspiring filmmaker faces a disaster her first day on set but finds a way to turn it into a win for her career.

“Resting Smile Face” & “The M

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Next Episode

Film Festival Fiasco

Fellowship and festival season is upon us! And as we continue to support #WGA writers in their efforts to make Hollywood a happier place, we also celebrate the intrepid spirits of all those who dare to enter competitions. This week our confessor navigates the trials and tribulations of festival season successfully... only to learn that even when you win, it's not all laurels. Thanks for tuning in!

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