Heroine

My guests on this week’s episode are the definition of hustle. Coco and Breezy Dotson, twin designers & founders of Coco and Breezy Eyewear, are no strangers to hard work. Growing up in a mainly white Midwestern suburb, the twins relied on each other for companionship throughout their childhood. Coco and Breezy developed a unique fashion sense that set them apart from other kids, and experienced bullying and exclusion while in school. Rather than allow the bullying to keep them down, the twins used it to inspire their love for stylish eyewear. They sold their first pairs of glasses on Myspace, where they built an extensive following. By the time the twins turned 17, they held three jobs to support their family.
In this inspiring interview, Coco and Breezy share their early lessons in entrepreneurship. Through their own personal examples, we learn why failure is necessary, and how we even should embrace failure as an opportunity for growth.
Show Notes
- Coco and Breezy share stories from their creative, active, curious childhood and what it’s like to grow up with a twin
- How they had to assimilate to whiteness growing up in a mostly white Midwestern suburb
- Being bullied, left out, misunderstood, and without a community meant the twins had only each other to rely on during their school years
- The bullying they experienced in school inspired their love for eyewear
- The twins posted photos of their unique, stylish outfits on Myspace and created a community of followers online
- Working three jobs by the age of 17 to support their family
- Making their first eyewear sales through Myspace, and then traveling to New York wearing their creations
- The twins share difficult lessons they learned in their early years of entrepreneurship
- How they feel excited by the opportunity to solve a challenge because it pushes them out of their comfort zones
- After spending the last of their money on a defective order, they saw the chance to make changes in their lives and business
- Learning how to run a more efficient business as two individuals, rather than as one person
- Why failure is necessary and something we all experience, especially if we’re willing to get uncomfortable
References
Coco & Breezy - https://cocoandbreezy.com
Coco & Breezy on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/cocoandbreezy
Coco & Breezy Eyewear - https://www.instagram.com/cocoandbreezyeyewear
Break the Good Girl Myth - https://majomolfino.com/book

Have you ever been faced with this choice: remain obedient to your family by giving up your dreams, or pursue your heart’s passion, against your family’s wishes? My guest on HEROINE this week faced that exact situation. Rana el Kaliouby, PhD, Egyptian-American computer scientist and CEO, knew her patriarchal Middle Eastern culture required her to make sacrifices she wasn’t willing to make. After studying computer science and receiving her PhD at Cambridge, Rana developed a deep passion to bring emotional intelligence (EQ) into technology. While founding her company, Affectiva, she chose to leave her marriage, rather than give up on the work she believed in so deeply. Rana recently released her first book, Girl Decoded, a memoir about her life as a rule breaker.
In this episode, Rana takes us through her childhood in the Middle East, raised in a family of technologists with strict gender roles. While she wasn’t used to vulnerability or emotion growing up, Rana discusses her personal journey in dealing with emotionally complex situations throughout her life. We also learn about the importance of following your convictions, even if they don’t align with others’ expectations. Rana teaches us when disobedience is necessary, and how to keep yourself out of your own way in the pursuit of your dreams.
Show Notes
- Rana’s childhood growing up in the Middle East.
- The influence of Rana’s technologist family, with two programmer parents.
- How Rana creatively rebelled against her father’s patriarchal ways.
- The influence the mixture of a forward-thinking but conservative family had on Rana.
- How Rana’s family suppressed emotions about evacuating Kuwait after it got invaded by Iraq.
- The story of why Rana’s dad got angry with her while she was studying computer science.
- Rana’s dream to build technology that can capture non-verbal communication signals.
- How Rana realized that building EQ into technology was her calling.
- What EQ in technology can offer and how this vision helped Rana disobey conventions.
- The story of how Rana had to prioritize starting Affectiva to the detriment of her marriage.
- Having to become a disobedient daughter in order to become a powerful woman.
- How Rana overcame her self-imposed barriers to become CEO of Affectiva.
- Rana’s use of journaling to externalize and process her feelings.
- Being a mother amongst all of the career challenges Rana faced.
- Why Rana has decided to lead with empathy.
- One thing Rana is reclaiming and hopes her book does.
References
Rana el Kaliouby - https://ranaelkaliouby.com
Girl Decoded - https://www.amazon.com/Girl-Decoded-Scientists-Intelligence-Technology-ebook/dp/B07VF1SKPV
Affectiva - https://www.affectiva.com
The American University in Cairo - https://www.aucegypt.edu
Alexa - https://alexa.amazon.com
Siri - https://www.apple.com/siri
Affective Computing - https://www.amazon.com/Affective-Computing-Press-Rosalind-Picard/dp/0262661152
Untamed - https://www.amazon.com/Untamed-Glennon-Doyle-Melton/dp/1984801252
Ariana Huffington - http://ariannahuffington.com

Have you ever felt like the deck was totally stacked against you and it just made you more determined to succeed? This is one of the main themes for my guest Cathy Heller. She gets really real and vulnerable so grab your favorite tea and settle in.
Her story so clearly shows the heroine’s journey from the dark hopelessness of being told she couldn’t succeed, that her sister was the talented one. The only time her parents paid attention to her was to complain about each other. Even after having been dropped by two record labels she refused to give up.
Instead, she was scrappy and figured out how to create contacts with the people choosing music for television, movies, and advertisements. In her twenties, she managed to build a business making multi-six-figures a year and ended up running an online school to help other creatives do the same.
She wrote an incredible book that comes out November 12th so make sure to snag a copy of Don’t Keep Your Day Job which talks about designing a way to contribute to the world that is personal and relevant to YOU.
Her perspective of purpose being the opposite of depression has helped thousands understand that as humans, we are happiest when we are contributing to other people.
HIGHLIGHTED EXCERPT
Cathy: What I did have was a cautionary tale. I had two parents who were miserable and a mom who didn't want to be here anymore with 911 calls and suicide hotline calls from her. So that was the driving force of “Oh I will not put my dreams on the back burner because it doesn't work. And I will not be invisible anymore or else I will be broken forever. So I have to do this. My life depends on it”.
Majo: So, you decide to move to Las Angeles to pursue a career in music. And at this point are you writing your own songs?
Cathy: Not really, maybe a couple, like I started right around then. I came out here and started to ask questions like “How do you get a record deal?” and I thought that was the only way to make a living was to get a record deal. I just started trying to figure out how to do it. My husband says I have the will of a small country like if I'm going to do something I commit. I ended up getting a record deal at Interscope and it was amazing. I remember being like “OMG! I’m here.” I was actually sitting with Lady Gaga at Sunset Sounds, which is a recording studio. She was recording Paparazzi and I had just gotten signed. I couldn't believe it; they were asking me like what kind of coffee I wanted and I was like “Wow, I'm the next person to record a record.” And then I got dropped from the label about three months later.

I am so honored to bring to you this conversation with a personal heroine of mine: Esther Perel. Esther is truly a thought leader in the space, with a perspective on modern relationships that is refreshingly original, insightful, and pretty un-American. Recently, she’s been stretching the bounds of her work beyond the bedroom, which is the focus of this episode.
More about this episode: majomolfino.com/blog/2018/10/4/esther-perel
Can we apply something like couple's therapy to co-workers and how easily does it translate? In this episode, Esther shares how to bring the relational intelligence from our romantic lives (things like trust, empathy, vulnerability, etc) into our most difficult, stressful work relationships and creative collaborations, especially in the context of patriarchy and the #MeToo movement.
Esther’s work practically saved my relationship with my husband before we got married– and her work really helped us see what sustains desire between two people over the long-term. Her celebrated TED talks have garnered more than 20 million views and her international bestselling book Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence became a global phenomenon translated into 25 languages. Her newest book is the New York Times bestseller The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity. Esther is also an executive producer and host of the popular podcast called Where Should We Begin?
I know you will find this conversation fascinating and applicable to your life.
Show Notes
Esther shares about her childhood as a bold and extroverted girl, her experience as an immigrant and the daughter of Holocaust survivors, and getting by on the goodwill of people willing to help her. [2:48]
Esther turns the table on Majo and asks why she felt pressured to focus on her career over relationships for so long. Plus, how Esther became a “disciple of people” and learned to navigate uncertainty while writing her first book. [7:43]
Why Esther enjoys taking on difficult and taboo subjects, and her non-prescriptive approach to finding solutions. [11:35]
The major problem with our current culture of experts. [15:43]
Bringing her expertise to the context of work: Esther shares her insights as a cross-cultural therapist, and the big shift she’s seeing toward reliance on relational intelligence as the core of company success. [19:59]
Why do 65% of startups fail? Co-founder breakups. Esther discusses the deep, intimate, and often turbulent relationship between company founders. [26:10]
Majo shares two true scenarios with Esther for advice on how to navigate relationships. Scenario 1: A woman being constantly triggered by her male manager who refuses to listen to her advice. [30:51]
Scenario 2: A woman feeling disempowered by a male CEO who favors his own ideas over hers. [38:24]
On difficult conversations, what’s missing from the #MeToo movement, and how we reshape and redefine relational thinking through communication (not policies or rules). [43:23]
“Patriarchy doesn’t just hurt women.” On polarized systems, masculine vs feminine, and the honesty required on both sides. [46:30]
From the bedroom to the boardroom – more resources on translating the personal to the professional. [49:39]
Resources:
Majo’s website – majo.co
Esther’s website – estherperel.com
Esther’s event – “The Masculinity Paradox” on November 10 in NYC – estherperel.com/therapists-and-coaches
Music by Carolyn Pennypacker Riggs – carolynpennypackerriggs.com
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Christine Gutierrez is a Latina licensed psychotherapist, life coach, and expert in love addiction, trauma, abuse, and self-esteem, and author of the book I Am Diosa: A Journey to Healing Deep, Loving Yourself, and Coming Back Home to Soul.
She has a bachelor’s degree from Fordham University in human behavior and development, and a master’s degree from City College of New York in mental health counseling with a focus on prevention and community.
In this episode, Christine covers a lot of ground, including what the soul is, what the return to soul looks like, what the common soul traps are – including being a good girl, how to get back in touch with your intuition, and why it is vital for us Diosas to rise up now. If you are still stuck wondering what is next in your life, this episode is not to be missed.
Show Notes
- Christine describes being a sensitive young girl who had a heart for the suffering of others.
- Hear about the dream analyses Christine’s mother and grandmother did with her as a girl.
- Learn what Christine means when she talks about our souls and connecting to the soul voice.
- Experiencing the sense that there is more to life than just what we see at the surface level.
- The loneliness that comes from being unusually aware of the spiritual dimension as a child.
- Christine talks about the childhood abuse and trauma that caused her ‘original wound’.
- When the first major shift happened and what she discovered about repetition compulsion.
- The importance of having compassion with yourself as you unpack the layers of trauma.
- Find out how you can avoid the ‘counterfeit gold’ soul traps on your journey to healing.
- How these counterfeits can function to sharpen our instincts and develop trust in ourselves.
- The problem of compromising your voice and truth for the sake of acceptance and belonging.
- Advice about beginning to come into alignment with yourself and what your gut is telling you.
- How to deal with your tendency to want to avoid getting still and confronting your feelings.
- The possibility of inhabiting both the mundane world and the realm of the soul as a creative.
- Why it is high time for the rise of leaders who are grounded in spirituality and the real world
References
Christine Gutierrez - https://www.christineg.tv/
Christine Gutierrez on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/cosmicchristine/
Christine Gutierrez on Twitter - https://twitter.com/CosmicChristine
I am Diosa - https://www.christineg.tv/eventsandretreats
Dr. Clarissa Pinkolo Estés - http://www.clarissapinkolaestes.com/
Women Who Run with the Wolves - http://www.clarissapinkolaestes.com/women_who_run_with_the_wolves__myths_and_stories_of_the_wild_woman_archetype_101250.htm
Break the Good Girl Myth - https://majomolfino.com/book
Majo Molfino - https://majomolfino.com/
HEROINE (Podcast) - https://majomolfino.com/podcast