Agnostic Gnosticism w/ a side of Gnocchi & Ganache

Explicit content warning

01/21/24 • 78 min

This week we start off the meal with a little bit of Four Loko lore, crack open some whippets, then we'll have to pry Jesus off the couch to go dig up ol' Lazarus who everyone though had wayyyyy too many drinks, but turned out to just be dead. Oopsie! (Quick parenthetical to say that it's good to put information that offers context but doesn't necessarily add to the story in a set of parenthesis to avoid confusion) Make sure to check back next episode when we try to figure out if Jesus was hung like a carpenter, or if he just had a splinter in his underwear. Won't you join us, friends?

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Previous Episode

What's this I hear about John with 3-6 teens on an island?

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Ope, that's my bad. I got Epstein island mixed up with Patmos. Anyway, we're back in the Gospel of John to make a few revelations about what Jesus was up to when he was out slinging red words for y'all to ignore. There's a bit where someone is trying to get stoned, but Jesus keeps drawing lines in the sand or something or another. I zone out a lot during the episodes if I'm being honest. I got that ADHD brain. Like that part in Airheads where the guy is just pretending to listen, and saying "Uh Huh" a lot. Airheads is streaming on Hulu by the way. What were we talking about again? I forgot. Won't you join us, friends?

Next Episode

Was Jesus Hung like a Carpenter or More Like a God?

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This week we investigate the final section of John's Gospel wherein the Christ is Crucified for OUR SINS! That's right, we did this, and it's all our fault. God knew that one day we'd all be little heathens, so he sent himself to die for us to protect us from himself! Now let's go masturbate in the shower with half a bottle of nice shampoo like we did when we were middle schoolers so that Jesus won't have died for no reason! Won't you join us, friends?