Episode 204 - BBC Love

Explicit content warning

10/23/20 • 117 min

1 Listener

A dark and stormy night. Lightning crashes in the distance. On the highest hill in the lands just outside a village in central Germany there is a man in a castle. In that castle there is a laboratory. Harnessing the power of the storm, an array of machinery in this lab is powered to do something unimaginable. As lightning strikes the tallest tower of the castle, it powers this demon machine and enters a slab of dead flesh held together by sutures and metal. As the nightmare is struck with the harnessed energy of a thousand suns, the unthinkable happens: the demonic mass of collected remains comes to life. Shambling around he searches for his master in order to fulfill his one mission. This decrepit mash of unholy science and the recently dead has but one thing on his mind. A single task to employ on everyone he meets. As he finds the one who created him, he extends his hands, starting the chain of events that will take over the entire castle, leaving the nearby town in tatters. The monster begins the time-long ritual that has taken over the mind of much more alive men as long as they've been able to. He does the mash. He does the monster mash.
* Not Available In Your Country
* Needing Celebrity Endorsement
* Only Playing the New Stuff
* Fauxmpkins

FIRST ISSUE DESCRIPTION HAS BEEN BLOCKED BY HWIDG STUDIOS LLC (EVEN THOUGH THIS CONTENT IS FREE AND MAY NOT EVEN BE LICENSED TO A SEPARATE COMPANY IN YOUR LOCATION).
There was a time when people didn't publicly display every aspect of their life nor was it expected. In fact it was looked down upon! Can you imagine that? Everyone just keeping their thoughts to themselves? Neither can I, because I've been dealt a barrage of the details of everyone's personal lives that I never asked for. That's 2020 for you. Everyone's got an opinion, and opinions are a lot like assholes. Everyone's got them, they usually stink, and before recently most people didn't go around showing them off to everyone.
A free concert in which the artist only performs their latest work is just a commercial. Sure, most people understand you've got to do some advertisement for the new stuff, that's why the tour exists in the first place. But you've got fans there to hear you, not just your material, so that includes the classics. This is the absolutely only time that the drunk guy yelling for your biggest hit as if you're not going to play it is correct.
Fake pumpkins are a lot like fake meat. It's an approximation of the real thing that has been created by science to placate white women. They're for entitled people that don't want to put the effort in to Halloween decorations but still want to fit in. Imagine going to a butcher's shop and asking for their vegan, pre-cooked, gluten-free, organic beef roast substitute. I'd say that butcher's got free reign to go Michael Myers on your pumpkin-spice drinking self.
All this and more on this week’s episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, and support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT!

Previous Episode

Episode 203 - Turnaders

It's a chilly, foggy night. You find yourself walking the streets of your hometown once again. You recall the days of yore, running from house to house on Halloween night, holding out a pillowcase and getting it filled with literal pounds of sugar. Eerie vibes came from Mr. Jenkins' place, but if you were brave enough to get past the dead bodies and shrieking lady on the porch, you'd be rewarded with a handful of King-size candy bars. But now things are different. It's still cold, and maybe you're wearing a mask, but no longer do children run around in costume. They're either herded in a minivan safely from house to house or are doing the rounds at the local mall that hasn't gone under. You yourself have changed. You're older now, and perhaps you're in a costume, but its nothing extravagant. No fake blood or Batman cowl. You've lost the Halloween spirit and just go out drinking these days. What's the point, it's 2020 anyways, next week will bring even more depressing news. It turns out that Freddy and Jason should have been the least of your worries. The real monster all along was you.

Spooky Season
* Storm Chasers
* Halloween Movies
* Politics

There's a conspiracy abound, folks. The Case of the "Spooky Season". Why have we gone from Halloween to "Spooky Season" or "Spookytime" or "Scary Days" or "Candy Month"? Is it the old Christians at it again? Blaming slasher flicks and Reese's Cups for letting Satan into our hearts? Or is it something more sinister? Perhaps its the deadly grasp of capitalism, wishing to take another Holiday and cram it into Christmas like many others have been. Soon enough we just might see orange and black Holiday decorations, and finally they can officially add September and October into the Holiday shopping season.

Hey, i've got a great idea, lets load up a van with a bunch of expensive monitoring equipment and radar, load up on beef jerky and Pop-Tarts, and make our way through the plains of Oklahoma looking for high-speed funnels. Yeah, we'll go around videotaping wind, doesn't that sound great?! We can pretend it's exciting and cool! We can freak out and need to change pants because of ROTATION. Doesn't that sound absolutely magical?

Much like a hack comedian doing a political bit about a potential Presidential candidate, setting your film on a holiday is a real gamble. It either makes the movie all about the holiday, forcing it squarely into a certain time of year where you can watch it and not feel like a psycho, or it simply is the backdrop and in that case, why bother? Its even worse with Halloween movies because it forces you to make a Holiday-worshipping horror movie all about pumpkins or whatever, or you've got a kid's movie. There's no in-between.

Being told to do something makes people not want to do it. Being told to do something over and over can make a person go loopy. Being told to do 15 things multiple times a day every day can make a person want to KILL YOU. Vote. Voting isn't everything. Sign this. Raise awareness for that. Hate them. Don't hate them. Watch this. Cancel this person. Support this. Support that. Every day. Over and over. OVER AND OVER.

All this and more on this week’s episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, and support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT!

Next Episode

Episode 205 - Castration Cannibals

This is it folks! It's finally come time for Halloween night, and we here at HWIDG would like to wish everyone a very Happy Halloween. Whether you're going out door to door, handing out candy at your house, going to a party, sitting at home watching horror movies, or nothing at all, we hope Samhain treats you well. Just watch out for razorblades in your candy, D-tier candy, and that sexy "catgirl". All three will lead to you ending the night with something gushing out of your mouth.
* Non-Candy Halloween Treats
* Non-Secular Media
* Standing Alone
* New Unsolved Mysteries

Imagine if there was a completely optional holiday during the year where it was perfectly fine for your neighbor to haul their garbage bin over to your house and tip it over on to your lawn. That would be a pretty terrible day wouldn't it? What if that day was the same day as another holiday where all the other neighbors had already placed a bunch of presents, just for you, on the lawn? It would make that first neighbor a huge asshole wouldn't it? NO ONE WANTS YOUR VEGETABLES, KAREN.
Man, all of these mainstream secular movies and bands are filled with sin and degeneracy. But my tween wants to start watching something other than Bibleman and VeggieTales and listen to something other than Pastor Dave's Campfire Hymns, what is a rich hardcore evangelical man to do? I know! I'll just make terrible low budget copies of what is popular, but make everything about Jesus! Brilliant!

Going against the grain can be difficult. When you're the only one doing it, even more so. You've got to be of pretty strong character and conviction to be the one against everyone else. No one wants to be the one going against what's popular. We all like to think that we would, but when it comes time to put the foot to the pedal, it's easier to wait around with everyone else and see what happens. But if you were that person you could write a book about how hard it is. Call it "My Struggle".
What's wrong with the new Unsolved Mysteries? Well, first of all, the theme is skippable. Yeah, it's a big deal. That original theme is a phat-ass beat you could spit a sick sixteen over. The drums are a VITAL piece of the equation, just as much as the melody synths and the deep "BWAM" bass synth. The new one is all "cinematically haunting" and by-the-books. Lame. Oh also there's this thing where they don't present all the evidence in the case and you have to rely on fans on Reddit to clue you in. Yeah.
All this and more on this week’s episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, and support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT! And check out this edition of Lower Decks-pectations!