Embracing what is with Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer

11/12/24 • 62 min

In this heartfelt conversation, award-winning poet and author, Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer, shares her journey of navigating grief after the sudden loss of her son, Finn, in 2021, followed by the loss of her father. Through poetry and reflection, she explores the themes of grief, surrender, love, the natural world, and the transformative power of writing. The episode delves into the nuances of grief, and the ways in which creativity can serve as a sacred anchoring practice as we learn to meet what is with curiosity, and how to carry our person's "love light" after loss.
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Click here to watch on YouTube
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Rosemerry and Nina explore the intricate relationship between grief, praise, and the art of surrender. They delve into how moments of beauty and connection can arise even in the depths of sorrow, emphasizing the importance of honoring loved ones while navigating personal loss. Through poetry and personal anecdotes, they illustrate the duality of joy and grief, and the grace found in surrendering to life's challenges, as we're flooded with "the relentless truth of what is". The discussion culminates in a reflection on the complexity of emotions and the healing power of words.
Takeaways:

Surrender is the surest medicine that exists.
Grief thrusts you into living in the "and".
Writing became a practice of meeting each moment with wonderment.
The story of grief is nonlinear and ever-changing.
Love continues to grow even after loss.
Finding joy is a possibility, even in grief.
Asking questions can open doors to new perspectives.
We can witness our own grief from a third-person perspective.
Praise can be a way of embracing life as it is.
The Unfolding reflects the spectrum of grief and love.
Surrendering to life's challenges can lead to profound insights.
Life and love happen through us.
Our loved ones leave us their "love light" to carry.
The heart can hold multiple emotions simultaneously.
Grief can deepen our sensitivity and connection to life.
Art and poetry can be powerful tools in life and grief.
Creating new words can help articulate complex emotions.

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Join THE COMMUNITY | A virtual space to navigate grief, together.
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Connect with Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer:

Connect with Nina Rodriguez:

Disclaimer: griefandlight.com/safetyanddisclaimers

Support the show

Thank you for listening! Please share with someone who may need to hear this.
Interested in Sponsoring our Podcast?
Please message us at [email protected].

Surrender is the surest medicine that exists.
Grief thrusts you into living in the "and".
Writing became a practice of meeting each moment with wonderment.
The story of grief is nonlinear and ever-changing.
Love continues to grow even after loss.
Finding joy is a possibility, even in grief.
Asking questions can open doors to new perspectives.
We can witness our own grief from a third-person perspective.
Praise can be a way of embracing life as it is.
The Unfolding reflects the spectrum of grief and love.
Surrendering to life's challenges can lead to profound insights.
Life and love happen through us.
Our loved ones leave us their "love light" to carry.
The heart can hold multiple emotions simultaneously.
Grief can deepen our sensitivity and connection to life.
Art and poetry can be powerful tools in life and grief.
Creating new words can help articulate complex emotions.

***
Join THE COMMUNITY | A virtual space to navigate grief, together.
***
Connect with Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer:

Connect with Nina Rodriguez:

Disclaimer: griefandlight.com/safetyanddisclaimers

Support the show

Thank you for listening! Please share with someone who may need to hear this.
Interested in Sponsoring our Podcast?
Please message us at [email protected].

Previous Episode

Beyond Platitudes: Erin Blechman Talks Candidly About Suicide Loss and Supporting Grievers

In this deeply moving episode, grief educator Erin Blechman opens up about her profound journey through loss after the death of her son, Max. Erin invites us into her experience of navigating the unique pain of suicide loss, sharing stories of Max’s life, his struggles, and the love that continues to shape her every day. She candidly explores the complexities of grief, the strength it takes to push past well-meaning but hurtful platitudes, and the necessity of compassion when facing tragedy. Erin discusses how her own healing journey has inspired her to support other bereaved parents, offering a space for community and mutual understanding. Through her work and writing, she brings to light the ongoing dance between hope and sorrow, illustrating how shared experiences and genuine presence can make a lasting impact on the path to healing. This episode is a heartfelt conversation on the power of community, the importance of authentic support, and the resilience that stems from love and loss.
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Click here to watch on YouTube
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Takeaways:

Grief is a lifelong journey that evolves over time and varies for everyone.
It's essential to sit with someone in their grief rather than trying to fix it.
Mental illness can manifest in various ways, often misunderstood by society.
Community support plays a crucial role in the healing process.
Compassion and empathy are vital when supporting bereaved parents.
Platitudes can be more hurtful than helpful during times of loss.
Understanding the nuances of depression is key to providing support.
Faith can be a source of comfort but can also lead to hurtful comments.
Sharing stories of loved ones helps keep their memory alive.
Healing involves recognizing and processing regret in our actions.
Being present is more important than offering solutions.
Hope can be elusive after a significant loss.
Grieving parents often feel isolated in their pain.
Education about grief can empower those who are grieving.
Support groups provide validation and understanding.

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Join THE COMMUNITY | A virtual space where we can navigate grief, together.
***
Connect with Erin Blechman:

Connect with Nina Rodriguez:

Disclaimer: griefandlight.com/safetyanddisclaimers

Support the show

Thank you for listening! Please share with someone who may need to hear this.
Interested in Sponsoring our Podcast?
Please message us at [email protected].

Next Episode

Impacted Survivors: Navigating Grief and Stigma After Murder-Suicide Loss

This episode addresses the complex and sensitive topic of murder-suicide and its profound impact on survivors, which may be activating for some listeners. We aim to approach these topics with care and respect, highlighting the need for community support and open dialogue.

If you or someone you know is experiencing thoughts of suicide or in crisis, help is available:

Call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.)
Visit 988lifeline.org or crisistextline.org for additional resources and support

Please prioritize your well-being, and listen only if you feel ready and supported.

Summary:

Joined by guests Michael Vinton and Tina Chevalier, two of the three co-founders of Impacted Survivors of Murder Suicide, this episode explores the complexities, layers, and stigma surrounding loss related to murder-suicide, the unique challenges faced by survivors, and the role of media in shaping public perception. The discussion emphasizes the importance of community support and the need for sensitive reporting on such tragedies, while also highlighting the healing power of sharing personal stories and experiences. They explore the non-linear nature of grief, the importance of support groups, and the challenges of reconciling emotions after such traumatic events. They discuss the meaning of "living forward" after loss, while also addressing the societal pressures and personal struggles that accompany grief.
Takeaways:

Grief can encompass multiple truths and experiences.
Murder-suicide is a complex and stigmatized form of loss.
Survivors often feel isolated and misunderstood.
Finding a supportive community can be crucial for healing.
Media coverage of murder-suicides often lacks sensitivity.
Survivors are left to navigate a complicated grief process.
There is a need for better resources for murder-suicide survivors.
The impact of sensationalized media can be re-traumatizing.
Support groups can provide a safe space for sharing.
Naming and discussing grief openly can aid in healing.
Grief is not a linear process and varies for everyone.
Support groups provide essential understanding and shared experiences.
The societal perception of grief can complicate personal healing.
Each person's story of loss is unique and layered.
Creating a framework for specific types of loss is crucial.
Finding help and community is vital for healing.
It's important to acknowledge the nuances of grief and loss.
Reconciling the layers of loss in murder-suicide is a process.

Join THE COMMUNITY | A virtual space to navigate grief, together.
Connect with Impacted Survivors:

Connect with Nina Rodriguez:

Disclaimer: griefandlight.com/safetyanddisclaimers

Support the show

Thank you for listening! Please share with someone who may need to hear this.
Interested in Sponsoring our Podcast?
Please message us at [email protected].

GRIEF AND LIGHT - Embracing what is with Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer

Transcript

griefandlight (00:00.244)
When he died that day, I was talking to my friend Wendy and she said to me as I was walking through the night in Georgia, love Dove, he has given you his love light to carry. The moment she said that, Nina, a firefly lit up right in front of my face. And I was so astonished by it, you know, that and even in that most desperate
broken moment that there was some small beauty, some little miracle that happened. That little firefly right when she said the word light