#67: Easy and practical ways to give your kids grace [Grace in Parenting series]

05/11/21 • 44 min

Do you struggle to offer grace to your kids? Are you ready to level up your grace-giving game?

Listen in for sustainable, realistic, kid-, teen-, and mom-approved methods to add a sprinkle more grace into your home.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

How God parents you with grace
How you can offer that same grace to your children
And one hard, but fail-proof way to be a grace-giving parent.

Ready for easy and practical ways to extend grace to your kids? Listen in to this second episode in our Grace in Parenting series.

Let’s start by understanding the five ways God offers you grace as He parents you.

God parents you with grace through how He:

Knows you
Serves you,
Listens to you,
Speaks to you
And acts to help you.

So how can you offer that same grace to your children? The first way to offer your kids grace is to get to know them.

Know what they love.
Know what upsets them or stresses them out.
Understand the timing: snack time, nap time, testing week, etc.
Know their love language.
Know what’s in- and out-of-character for them.

The second way to offer your kids grace is to serve them.

Ask them how you can pray for them.
If running late, step into their jobs.
Cover the little things during their busy weeks.
Ask how you can help.

The third way to offer your kids grace is to listen to them.

Don’t dismiss.
Ask questions to get to the heart of the issue.
Put the phone down.
Remember you don’t have to fix their situation, but you do need to listen.

The fourth way to offer your kids grace is to talk to them with gentleness.

Cheer them on when you see them trying, even if not at the speed you’d like.
Say “hello” before giving instructions.
Don’t use sarcasm, passive-aggressiveness, guilt, or manipulation.

The fifth and final way to offer your kids grace is to act in love.

Treat your children with respect.
Ask for forgiveness when you mess up.
Acknowledge their feelings.
Ask your kids how you’ve hurt them in the past then give them permission to offload those hurts without growing defensive.

One hard, but fail-proof way to be a grace-giving parent

Know your story.

What narratives were passed on to you by your own parents that maybe you’re acting out of by rote, but you don’t really agree with?
What lies or wounds have you believed over the years that haven’t been dealt with, but are leaking out onto your kids?
What default coping mechanisms do you employ when you’re stressed that don’t serve you well?
How did God wire you?

Key Quotes

A teachable heart is a heart God can work with
May we be mothers who respect God’s specific wiring of our people. It’s okay if your kids are unlike anyone else in your tribe.
Give yourself and your children permission to live out what God has put in.
The grace that flows from Christ to you can flow from you to your children.

Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you!

Previous Episodes

Episode #21: Did I really hear from God or is that just me?
Episode #66: How y...

Do you struggle to offer grace to your kids? Are you ready to level up your grace-giving game?

Listen in for sustainable, realistic, kid-, teen-, and mom-approved methods to add a sprinkle more grace into your home.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

How God parents you with grace
How you can offer that same grace to your children
And one hard, but fail-proof way to be a grace-giving parent.

Ready for easy and practical ways to extend grace to your kids? Listen in to this second episode in our Grace in Parenting series.

Let’s start by understanding the five ways God offers you grace as He parents you.

God parents you with grace through how He:

Knows you
Serves you,
Listens to you,
Speaks to you
And acts to help you.

So how can you offer that same grace to your children? The first way to offer your kids grace is to get to know them.

Know what they love.
Know what upsets them or stresses them out.
Understand the timing: snack time, nap time, testing week, etc.
Know their love language.
Know what’s in- and out-of-character for them.

The second way to offer your kids grace is to serve them.

Ask them how you can pray for them.
If running late, step into their jobs.
Cover the little things during their busy weeks.
Ask how you can help.

The third way to offer your kids grace is to listen to them.

Don’t dismiss.
Ask questions to get to the heart of the issue.
Put the phone down.
Remember you don’t have to fix their situation, but you do need to listen.

The fourth way to offer your kids grace is to talk to them with gentleness.

Cheer them on when you see them trying, even if not at the speed you’d like.
Say “hello” before giving instructions.
Don’t use sarcasm, passive-aggressiveness, guilt, or manipulation.

The fifth and final way to offer your kids grace is to act in love.

Treat your children with respect.
Ask for forgiveness when you mess up.
Acknowledge their feelings.
Ask your kids how you’ve hurt them in the past then give them permission to offload those hurts without growing defensive.

One hard, but fail-proof way to be a grace-giving parent

Know your story.

What narratives were passed on to you by your own parents that maybe you’re acting out of by rote, but you don’t really agree with?
What lies or wounds have you believed over the years that haven’t been dealt with, but are leaking out onto your kids?
What default coping mechanisms do you employ when you’re stressed that don’t serve you well?
How did God wire you?

Key Quotes

A teachable heart is a heart God can work with
May we be mothers who respect God’s specific wiring of our people. It’s okay if your kids are unlike anyone else in your tribe.
Give yourself and your children permission to live out what God has put in.
The grace that flows from Christ to you can flow from you to your children.

Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you!

Previous Episodes

Episode #21: Did I really hear from God or is that just me?
Episode #66: How y...

Previous Episode

#66: How your Enneagram type impacts how you parent [Grace in Parenting series]

How does your personality impact your parenting style? Where do you shine and struggle in motherhood? What are some God-centered habits to help you along the way? What do you do when you wonder why God made you a mom with all your flaws, twerks, and preferences?

Sweet friend, I hope this episode -- the first in our Grace in Parenting series -- brings you comfort and a whole lot of joy as you recognize how beautifully God knit you together as a human, and how perfectly He placed your children in your family, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

Because let’s be real: We all have days when we wonder what God was thinking when He made us a mom.

In this episode, we’ll dive into:

Where your Enneagram type shines in parenting,
Where your type struggles,
And where grace meets you.

Sweet mom friend, God 100% knew what He was doing when He matched you and your children together. He could think of no better person to raise your child than you:

You with your short temper, and your love of clean countertops, and your desire for everything to go according to plan.

May this episode shed light on how awesome you are as a mom, how much you need Jesus as a mama, and how you can practically give yourself grace as you parent.

If you take nothing else away from this episode, please know this:

You’re doing a great job mama.

Stay true to the type of mom God created you to be. You don’t need to be like your best friend, sister-in-law or mom. The comparison game can end when you know God delights in how He made you

Your children need you to be who God created! When you realize you don’t have to be like every other mom on the block, but uniquely you, the joy in parenting will explode!

If you’d like to skip to your type or the type of your spouse, here are the approximate timestamps + a parenting book list curated for each type:

Type Eight

6:25
It’s OK Not To Share by Heather Shumaker
Nurture by Nature by Paul Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger

Type Nine

8:40
The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel Siegel
Bringing up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman

Type One

11:08
Sacred Ground, Sticky Floors by Jami Amerine
Love Does by Bob Goff (there’s also a kids version!)
The Wonder Weeks by Xaviera Plas-Plooij, Frans X. Plooij, and Hetty van de Rijt

Type Two

13:56
How to Talk so Your Kids Will Listen and Listen So Your Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish (there’s also a teen version)
Loving Your Kids on Purpose by Danny Silk

Type Three

16:24
Triggers by Amber Lia and Wendy Speake
Give Your Kids a Break by Kim Fredrickson

Type Four

19:40
The Next Right Thing by Emily P. Freeman
Are My Kids on Track? by Sissy Goff, David Thomas, and Melissa Trevathan

Type Five

21:29
The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell
The Enneagram of Parenting by Elizabeth Wagele

Type Six

23:44
Walking with God in the Season of Motherhood by Melissa Kruger
It’s All Under Control by Jennifer Lee

Type Seven

26:29
Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas
Confident Moms, Confident Daughters by Maria Furlough

Key Quotes

When I discovered my Enneagram type, I finally understood why motherhood challenged me so much and what strengths I brought to it.
God 100% knew what He was doing when He matched you and your children together.
Stay true to the type of mom God created you to be. You don’t need to be like your best friend, sister-in-law or mom. The comparison game can end when you know God delights in how He made you.
Your children ne...

Next Episode

#68: How to create a family shaped by grace with Gary Morland [Grace in Parenting series]

How can Jesus’ sufficiency meet you as you parent in real life? What are ways we can woo our kids to Jesus instead of telling them about Him? If you’ve ever had a family Bible study or devotional go sideways, listen in on how you can shape your family with God’s grace.

In Episode 68, we’re talking about how to create a family shaped by grace with author, husband, and dad Gary Morland.

In this interview, Gary shares with us:

How Jesus’ sufficiency meets you in real-life parenting,
What we can control and what we can’t,
And practical ways to woo your people to Jesus.

Key Quotes

“Jesus’ sufficiency is for the reasons I want things to turn out the way I want things to turn out.” - Gary Morland
“The absolute first place that never goes away, where I am affirmed and cared about and seen, is in the eys of my Lord, who dwells within me and me in Him.” - Gary Morland
“Don’t try to get from your family what only God can give.” - Gary Morland
“What does God seem to be up to in my kids?” - Gary Morland
“I can control my efforts, but I cannot control the results.” - Gary Morland
“Wooing is being calm when your kids are not.” - Gary Morland
“Wooing is finding the good in your kids and giving them the credit for it.” - Gary Morland
“The desire is that my family would have access to God through me.” - Gary Morland
“I want to cooperate with God in what He’s up to in each of my family member’s lives.” - Gary Morland
“God has engineered your limits.” - Gary Morland
“I can release control because I know He’s in control.” - Gary Morland
“Do your parenting job -- your work of loving, teaching, and correcting -- but don’t expect certain results in a certain time period.” - Gary Morland
“You’re not messing your kids up.” - Gary Morland
“We want to stop feeling our mom-ness as if there’s no God, as if you can do everything right, as if it all depends on you. Leave room for God to shape and fix and use our mistakes.” - Gary Morland
“We want our kids to end up trusting in the bigness and goodness of God. When they see us trusting in the bigness and goodness of God, they are wooed to the same thing.” - Gary Morland

Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you!

About Gary Morland

Gary Morland is a professional communicator with more than 30 years of radio experience sharing his own life story and helping others share theirs. As a 25-year sober alcoholic, he describes himself as “a guy who should have died but didn’t, with a wife who should have left but stayed.”

If anyone knows the power of grace and forgiveness, it’s Gary. He and his wife, Brenda, are the parents of authors Emily P. Freeman and Myquillyn Smith, a.k.a. The Nester.

He and Brenda live in North Carolina, and Gary will celebrate his birthday today!

Here’s how to connect with Gary Morland