Grace In Real Life podcast

Slowing down your pace sounds amazing, but how do you do that in real life? How can you practice open-handedness in the dailiness? How can you build rest into a busy season?

In the fourth episode of the Delete + Reset series, author Jennifer Dukes Lee tackles a topic that’s an ongoing struggle for try-hard girls: how to live a slower life when you believe your worth is based on all you do.

Jennifer reminds you that good things take time to grow, that if you’re going to live like Jesus, you need to walk at a slower pace, and she defines what it means to have an unhurried heart.

You’ll learn how to grow slow in a world that pushes you to keep up, how to replace harmful mindsets with God’s truth, and what to do when you’re tired of a busy life but are terrified of the idea of letting go of All The Things.

Key Quotes

• “There’s something worse than falling behind and that is not really appreciating and embracing the here-and-now the Lord has given us.” - Jennifer Dukes Lee
• “It takes time to grow good things.” - Jennifer Dukes Lee
• “An unexpected life is not the same thing as a bad life.” - Jennifer Dukes Lee
• “God doesn’t delight in our output as much as He just delights in our ordinary selves.” - Jennifer Dukes Lee
• “All those little things build a life.” - Jennifer Dukes Lee
• “We ourselves are fields. God is planting seeds in us, and He is growing things in us.” - Jennifer Dukes Lee
• “If I’m going to live like Jesus and be like Jesus, I need to slow down and walk with Jesus.” - Jennifer Dukes Lee
• Mentioned in the Podcast

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• Enneagram Three
• Koselig - Norwegian word for cozy
• Growing Slow by Jennifer Dukes Lee
• Growing Slow Bible Study by Jennifer Dukes Lee
• Esther Littlefield
• Christa Hutchins
• Brittany Spencer
• Marken Media

About Jennifer Dukes Lee

Jennifer Dukes Lee is an accidental farm girl in Iowa, where she and her husband live on the fifth-generation family farm, raising crops, pigs, and two humans. She’s a fan of dark chocolate, emojis, eighties music, bright lipstick, and Netflix binges. She wants to live life in such a way that you can’t help but want more of Jesus. Jennifer is the author of several books and Bible studies, including It’s All Under Control and her upcoming release, Growing Slow.

Here’s how to connect with Jennifer Dukes Lee

• Website
• Instagram
• Facebook

Previous Episodes

• Episode #51: Delete + Reset: Body Image, Weight, Jean Size, and Jesus with Jami Amerine
• Episode #53: Delete + Reset: Race, Racism, and Your Role in Racial Reconciliation with Dr. Lucretia Berry
• Episode #55: Delete + Reset: Productivity, Exhaustion, and Balancing Your Passions with Christa Hutchins

Here’s how to connect with Jill

• Website
• GraceInRealLifePodcast.com
• Instagram
• Facebook group
• Facebook page
• Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email

Today we’re talking about how to give grace to others during the election season.

We’re going to break down:

1. Our cultural M.O. every election cycle
2. Our three options about how to act
3. And practical ways to extend grace to ourselves and others during the election season.

We want to answer this question: How can we love and give grace to people we completely disagree with?

Let’s start by remembering this fundamental truth.

Humans are sinful and flawed, and we should not be shocked or surprised when humans act like humans. Friends, we can start passing grace out like candy at a kid’s birthday party by recognizing the truth of our humanity.

This is what grace does.

Here’s how we define grace on this podcast: Grace is God’s gift to us that understands our humanity and comes alongside us to work on our behalf. Grace is based on the truth that we are all imperfect, flawed humans.

Now we have a choice to make:

How will we react in the light of harsh words or disagreement? How do we treat each other when we fundamentally disagree on issues important to us? How do we engage with those in the world who hold opposing viewpoints?

We have three options:

1. We can choose to win.
2. We can choose anger.
3. Or we can choose to love.

If we choose to win, we believe we are in charge of policing people, putting the other side in it’s place, and “taking a stand” for what is right.

As Christians, we are Kingdom people. We are not donkeys or elephants. We are sheep following the Good Shepherd.

We are not responsible for winning points or setting the record straight or defending Jesus. Jesus never operates on the defensive. We are commissioned to love others and to make disciples.

A second option is to choose anger.

Christian, you are to take off your sinful self and your old ways of doing things. So what do you put on? Paul tells us in Colossians 3:12-14:

“Show mercy to others; be kind, humble, gentle, and patient. Do not be angry with each other, but forgive each other. If someone does wrong to you, then forgive him. Forgive each other because the Lord forgave you. Do all these things; but most important, love each other. Love is what holds you all together in perfect unity. ”

I’m telling you it’s okay to be angry. Then you must rid yourself of it -- not by pushing it away or ignoring it -- but by talking it through with Jesus then asking what He wants you to do.

So our next option is to choose to love.

We know that love perseveres, keeps no record of wrongs, and always hopes.

So if we are to respond to those with whom we vehemently disagree, we must keep these three principles in mind: ONE: You are safe and secure in the unshakable kingdom of God.

Your identity is firmly tucked safe and sound in the Person of Jesus Christ. You are His girl, His beloved, His prized possession.

Knowing your identity is so securely kept means that it doesn’t diminish your value or worth when others disagree with you or say hurtful things.

TWO: You are loved freely, and you are free to love others freely.

As God’s girls, we are not to respond in anger, but in love. We don’t type a comment because someone made us mad, but because we care about the person on the other side of the screen. We don’t engage in a conversation because we hate the other side and want to trash their arguments. We engage because love is what we’re invited into.

We remember that truth spoken in grace is better given within the context of relationship.

People are swayed by how much we love. People are moved by those in their life -- people like you -- who love God AND love them.

AND THREE: As a daughter of the King, ambassador of Christ, and citizen of heaven, you choose to prioritize relationships over right-ness.

We prioritize relationships when we humble ourselves.

You choose relationships, which means you choose to treat others made in the image of God with dignity, respect, kindness, and compassion because all of us have value.

You want to be a grace-giver this season, but how can you do that in real life?

Here are 15 ways to give grace in this election season:

BEFORE YOU ENGAGE WITH OTHERS

1. Give yourself time to educate, analyze, and ask yourself why you support a political candidate, issue, legislation, or cause.
2. Make a plan for how you’ll steward your online presence.
3. Think about how you talk about politicians, causes, and issues, especially in front of your kids.

WHILE YOU ENGAGE WITH OTHERS

1. Ask God to show you what God sees and loves about the person who is driving you crazy.
2. Think of every interaction -- not as a debate or a way to score points -- but as a way to learn more about the other person.
3. Tell yourself, “I’m committing to being kind no matte...

Our kids need prayer at the start of every school year. But this year, the need to pray feels a bit more urgent. We love our kids and know how worried, excited, nervous, and ready they are. So what we can do is pray. And while we’re praying for our children today, please remember to lift up teachers, administrators, and school leaders.

In this episode, we pray for freedom for our children in three areas:

• Freedom from fear
• Freedom to be who You created our children to be
• And freedom to grow in their faith

Dear God, we ask that you grant our children freedom from fear.

God, it seems like there is so much for our kids to fear these days. Deliver our children from any anxiety, when everything seems to be telling us to freak out. You gave us a sound mind so we cling to that truth.

If or when fear rises up, we ask that Your presence envelopes our child in a tangible, unmistakable, personal way. May they know that You are always with them and Your perfect love casts out fear.

Will you bless our kids with confidence this year? That they would be leaders of quiet calm as everything swirls around them. And that they would be an example of trust and faith. May they be so sure of Your power and plans for them, that they have absolutely zero reasons to fear.

Next God, we ask for freedom for our kids to be who You created them to be.

God, You lovingly designed and knit together each child. You equipped them with just the right personality, the right interests, the right temperament, and just the right gifts to do what You created them to do.

We pray that they shine as girls and boys who are fearfully and wonderfully made. We ask that you bless their gifts and talents and personality. We want their talents to bloom in Your light. May our children grow in stature and favor in your sight and the sight of others.

We ask that this year, our kids discover the gifts and talents You lavished upon them so they can serve and love others and glorify You in ways that fill them up and make them come alive. Surround them with people, friends, and teachers who can see their talents and point them out. Help us as we parent to be quick to see what their gifts are and to nurture them. You’ll grow and develop our kids in Your perfect timing. Do not let us rush them.

Finally God, we ask that they grow in their faith.

God, you desire that each and every person You created develops a vibrant and personal relationship with you. So if our child doesn’t know You as their Lord and Savior, we pray for his salvation now.

For those who do know You as their Redeemer and Friend, will you grow that relationship this year? Will you give them opportunities to deepen their trust in You?

Will you make our children fruitful because they long to know you? Put in them a desire to spend time each day praying and reading Your word. This may sound far-fetched or too big or too ridiculous in a culture like ours.

But big jobs are light work for you.

You are a good Father who loves to give good gifts to your children and to give us far beyond what we could ever ask or imagine.

We boldly approach your throne of grace and ask for blessings for our girls and boys.

Bless them. Keep them. May Your face shine upon them.

All day. Every day. When they sit and when they rise. When they come and when they go. When they study and when they learn, lavish them with peace, hope, joy, patience, kindness, and strength.

You promise us your presence and we take you up on that. Give us the grace to begin.

Amen.

Key Quotes

• Big jobs are light work for God.
• Surround them with people, friends, and teachers who can see their talents and point them out.
• When our kids study, lavish them with peace, hope, joy, patience, kindness, and strength.

Previous Episode Mentioned

• Episode #24: A prayer for the mom deciding what to do for school next year

Here’s how to connect

• GraceInRealLifePodcast.com
• Instagram
• Facebook group
• Facebook page
• Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email

The #1 struggle of try-hard girls is living out of our identity in Christ. When we don’t operate from this foundational truth, we are prone to:

• Being rushed and feeling frantic on the inside,
• Trying to do All The Things,
• Getting caught up in perfectionism + people-pleasing,
• And wondering if we’re doing enough.

We’re kicking off a new series today called Get Unstuck. In this series, we’ll tackle where try-hard girls struggle most:

• Our identity in Christ,
• Our thought-life,
• Shame,
• And expectations.

To help us get unstuck with false beliefs about our identity, author Jen Babakhan joins the show! In this interview, Jen shares with us:

• Why you struggle with accepting your identity in Christ,
• How to be honest with God,
• And ways to find your tribe.

Enter to win a copy of Jen’s book, Detoured

If you’d like to win a copy of Detoured, just leave a review of the podcast on iTunes. Once you’ve written a review, send me a screenshot by 9 p.m. CST on Tuesday, September 14. I’ll pick a winner and announce it in my weekly newsletter the good + the grace!

Key Quotes

• “We are souls wearing human bodies.” - Author Jen Babakhan
• “If you did not a single thing, it wouldn’t change that you are a beloved child of God.” - Author Jen Babakhan
• “It’s a scary thing to step into an unknown place, but it’s not unknown to Jesus.” - Author Jen Babakhan
• “God’s plan is bigger than anything I can do for myself.” - Author Jen Babakhan
• “The space the tears make and the sadness allows Jesus to come in and do His healing work, which He’s so good at.” - Author Jen Babakhan
• “Healing is God’s jam.” - Author Jen Babakhan
• “Sometimes getting honest with God means beings silent.” - Author Jen Babakhan
• “Jesus loves honesty.” - Author Jen Babakhan
• “God didn’t create you to be somebody else. He wanted you. So if He wanted you, be you.” - Author Jen Babakhan
• “You have to know what you want to cultivate in your life.” - Author Jen Babakhan
• “Who am I to go to God and say, ‘What you’ve given me is not the right thing.’?” - Author Jen Babakhan

Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you!

• Emily P. Freeman
• Enneagram Three
• Beth Moore on Twitter
• Francis Chan
• Mark Batterson

About Jen Babakhan

Jen is an author living in California with her husband and two young sons. She is the author of Detoured: The Messy, Grace-Filled Journey From Working Professional to Stay-at-Home Mom. Jen is also a contributor for Reader’s Digest and Guideposts, and her work has been featured in various national news outlets.

Here’s how to connect with Jen Babakhan

• Website
• Instagram
• Facebook
• Twitter
• Jen’s book, Detoured

Here’s how to connect with Jill

• Website
• GraceInRealLifePodcast.com
• Instagram
• Facebook group
• Facebook page
• Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email

How does your Enneagram type handle conflict? Where does your type get stuck in conflict? What do you need to know about your Enneagram type when you find yourself in conflict?

In this interview, speaker, writer, and Enneagram Coach Jenn Whitmer breaks down conflict and the Enneagram, going type-by-type about where each Enneagram type struggles, shines, and what would serve us well to remember.

She tells us:

• what each Enneagram brings to the table in conflict
• where each type struggles
• and how each type can practically handle conflict and hard conversations better.

Jenn reframes conflict as an opportunity and reminds us it’s really a heart posture of humility and community so we can tackle the issue out there.

To skip to a type:

• Type Eight: 3:35
• Type Nine: 7:15
• Type One: 10:52
• Type Two: 14:54
• Type Three: 18:43
• Type Four: 21:59
• Type Five: 25:50
• Type Six: 29:10
• Type Seven: 33:11

Key Quotes

• “Vulnerability is actually a strength. It takes a lot of strength and trust to expose your heart, but it’s what connects you to people.” - Jenn Whitmer
• “It’s a paradox of life that we are all doing the best we can, but everybody can do better.” - Jenn Whitmer
• “Avoiding conflict usually creates more.” - Jenn Whitmer
• “Conflict is not failure. Conflict is a problem-solving opportunity.” - Jenn Whitmer
• “You are safe to have needs.” - Jenn Whitmer
• “Conflict is an opportunity, not a threat.” - Jenn Whitmer
• “Conflict resolution is a posture of, ‘It’s the two of us together against the problem out there.’” - Jenn Whitmer

Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you!

• Jill's Inner Critic Challenge
• Harry Potter
• Freebies from Jenn
• Women’s Leader Circle private Facebook group

Previous Episodes

#60: The Enneagram + Conflict || Part 1: The Essentials with Jenn Whitmer

About Jenn Whitmer

Jenn helps teams and leaders solve conflict and personality clashes. She speaks, writes, and coaches about hard topics with infectious joy. Through working with Jenn, people improve communication, work through conflict, and build self-awareness with the Enneagram. She asks big questions that lead to big dreams and big ideas and big living. Usually, that means laughing.

Jenn has graduate certificates in music education, theology, and leadership along with a Master of Arts in communication and culture from Webster University and certification as an Enneagram coach.

Jenn lives in St. Louis, Missouri, with her husband, Michael, their four kids, and a cat that puts up with them all.

Here’s how to connect with Jenn

• Facebook
• Instagram
• Twitter
• LinkedIn
• Medium
• Clubhouse: @jenn_whitmer

Here’s how to connect with Jill

• Website
• GraceInRealLifePodcast.com
• Instagram
• Facebook group
• Facebook page
• Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email