goopfellas - Terry Real: Why Relationships Fail

Terry Real: Why Relationships Fail

07/17/19 • 44 min

Therapist Terry Real doesn’t want to feminize masculinity. What he does want—and what he explains women really want—are men who are whole human beings, who can be strong and vulnerable. In his practice, Real sees couples on the brink of divorce. And today, he’s breaking down the reasons men and women find themselves unhappy in relationships. He believes that passion leaves an intimate relationship the moment we stop taking on our partner—or because we don’t really know how to fight with a partner or how to see the win-win possibility in conflict. Typical of Real, the conversation is full of practical takeaways and profound one-liners, like this one: “You cannot rightfully get angry about not getting what you never asked for.”

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Previous Episode

Michael Stipe on the Future of Masculinity and Well-Being

“I set out on this fantastic adventure, and it actually worked out,” former R.E.M. front man Michael Stipe says, a bit surprised himself. In this candid conversation, Stipe talks about who he became after his band got famous, why he decided to speak up about his sexuality, and what it was like to “fall between the lines” and to redefine masculinity. He tells Will and Seamus why he quit drugs and, later, social media, and what it could mean to take an interest in your health. Stipe believes that we’re in a time of great transition, and his own transformation is ongoing, fueled perhaps by one thing in particular: Vulnerability, he says, can contain an immense power. (For more, see the goopfellas podcast hub.)

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Next Episode

Am I Allowed to Grieve?

“I’m going to be joyful.” This eventually became actor Kelly Rutherford’s MO after she experienced a harrowing, messy divorce that separated her from her children. (Stay with us; it gets better.) But first, Rutherford asked: “Am I allowed to grieve?” She learned how to allow her children to grieve. How to “intentionally let go” of the things that were out of her control. How to feel gratitude again. And in the process, she rediscovered all that her children had to teach her. And how she could still become a better parent, one who liberated her kids to be themselves and to find their own joy. (For more, see the goopfellas podcast hub.)

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