Dealing with Missed Expectations
01/10/21 • 37 min
It’s been a while, but we’re very excited to be back and starting the new year off with another season!
To kick things off, we’re picking up right where we left off last season. In our season 2 finale, Pops asked me what he could have done differently or better as a father. So in today’s episode, we really open up the doors of communication: I explain how he could’ve shown up better for me as a child and adult, and he explains his mindset and thought process then and now.
You’ll hear him talk about an incident when I was young where he still thought more selfishly. He acknowledges past and even current mistakes that could’ve created a bigger issue between us. We discuss how it all affected his own parental and romantic relationship skills as an adult.
This episode brings us back to what the show’s really all about--real father-daughter talk. We hope you enjoy what you hear today. If you do, let other people know by writing us a review and rating our podcast on Apple with five stars. And if you haven’t already, make sure you hit the subscribe button so you won’t miss a single episode!
In this episode:
[05:53] - Pops talks about when he wasn’t thinking clearly and allowed things to happen that could’ve driven a wedge between him and his kids.
[07:24] - If you have kids, then your kids are mirroring the person you are too.
[08:42] - Brittney accepts Pops’ apology and remembers being flabbergasted about his wedding taking place so close to her 12th birthday.
[10:31] - As a proponent of healthy blended families, Brittney insists on having a good relationship with any kids of the person you’re dating.
[11:28] - Parents don’t always think about how their kids feel about this situation. They just jump in and start making all these plans based on their own happiness.
[13:14] - Here’s what Pops sees as the more important thing to consider when you have kids and are in the dating game.
[15:22] - A few times in the past (and even in the present), Pops hasn’t followed through after setting an expectation.
[17:19] - While blaming this year on COVID, Pops acknowledges his tendency to not follow through sometimes.
[19:40] - Brittney reveals what triggers her in relationships. She can’t stand it when the man she’s dating does this.
[21:11]- Sometimes, people feel if they ignore something, others around them will too. Not all people are like that, though.
[23:27] - Follow-through is especially important for women. They’ll feel like you don’t care because women feel love through connection and reassurance.
[25:51] - Brittney reminds us that father-daughter relationships shape what daughters look for in and expect from other men in their lives.
[29:10] - Parenting styles differ with each generation. Pops tells us what he didn’t see growing up--from his or others’ parents.
[31:25] - Pops takes it all back to the days of slavery and mentions how and why it was deemed as a sign of strength.
[37:01] - Has Pops’ lack of emotional expression with women been a real conversation in his relationships? What feedback has he received?
Links and Resources:
“What men learn about women from having daughters” (Season 2 Finale)
It’s been a while, but we’re very excited to be back and starting the new year off with another season!
To kick things off, we’re picking up right where we left off last season. In our season 2 finale, Pops asked me what he could have done differently or better as a father. So in today’s episode, we really open up the doors of communication: I explain how he could’ve shown up better for me as a child and adult, and he explains his mindset and thought process then and now.
You’ll hear him talk about an incident when I was young where he still thought more selfishly. He acknowledges past and even current mistakes that could’ve created a bigger issue between us. We discuss how it all affected his own parental and romantic relationship skills as an adult.
This episode brings us back to what the show’s really all about--real father-daughter talk. We hope you enjoy what you hear today. If you do, let other people know by writing us a review and rating our podcast on Apple with five stars. And if you haven’t already, make sure you hit the subscribe button so you won’t miss a single episode!
In this episode:
[05:53] - Pops talks about when he wasn’t thinking clearly and allowed things to happen that could’ve driven a wedge between him and his kids.
[07:24] - If you have kids, then your kids are mirroring the person you are too.
[08:42] - Brittney accepts Pops’ apology and remembers being flabbergasted about his wedding taking place so close to her 12th birthday.
[10:31] - As a proponent of healthy blended families, Brittney insists on having a good relationship with any kids of the person you’re dating.
[11:28] - Parents don’t always think about how their kids feel about this situation. They just jump in and start making all these plans based on their own happiness.
[13:14] - Here’s what Pops sees as the more important thing to consider when you have kids and are in the dating game.
[15:22] - A few times in the past (and even in the present), Pops hasn’t followed through after setting an expectation.
[17:19] - While blaming this year on COVID, Pops acknowledges his tendency to not follow through sometimes.
[19:40] - Brittney reveals what triggers her in relationships. She can’t stand it when the man she’s dating does this.
[21:11]- Sometimes, people feel if they ignore something, others around them will too. Not all people are like that, though.
[23:27] - Follow-through is especially important for women. They’ll feel like you don’t care because women feel love through connection and reassurance.
[25:51] - Brittney reminds us that father-daughter relationships shape what daughters look for in and expect from other men in their lives.
[29:10] - Parenting styles differ with each generation. Pops tells us what he didn’t see growing up--from his or others’ parents.
[31:25] - Pops takes it all back to the days of slavery and mentions how and why it was deemed as a sign of strength.
[37:01] - Has Pops’ lack of emotional expression with women been a real conversation in his relationships? What feedback has he received?
Links and Resources:
“What men learn about women from having daughters” (Season 2 Finale)
Previous Episode
What men learn about women from having daughters
Traditionally we hear about lessons that dads teach their daughters, but to mark the end of season 2 Brittney and Pops talk about what he's learned from her. Pops then shares what he's learned about himself in the GTWP journey so far and talks about how GTWP has impacted his love life.
They discuss how being a father and learning how to parent don't stop when kids reach adulthood as well as how having a daughter can make men more vulnerable and accountable for their actions.
Brittney shares some lessons too, but you can check out a full read of things she's learned from Pops here: 5 Lessons I Learned from My Dad on Men and Dating.
Thanks for rocking with GTWP for another season. Don't forget to share this episode with a friend and rate GTWP 5 stars on Apple Podcasts.
Keep in touch with us on IG @girltalkwithpops and email [email protected] if you have questions/feedback.
Next Episode
Healing from Daddy Issues (Part 1)
We love talking to other women about their relationships with their fathers and how those relationships impact their lives. In this episode, we have a special guest and fellow former Howard University alumna: Ms. Reid of DaaamDaddy.com.
We love talking to other women about their relationships with their fathers and how those relationships impact their lives. In this episode, we have a special guest and fellow Howard University alumna: Ms. Reid of DaaamDaddy.com and The Discussion Room podcast.
Ms. Reid is the product of teen parents and for years thought that being smart, happy, and social meant exemption from suffering any daddy issues. However, being both a teacher and a storyteller, she saw herself more and more in the youth she encountered in the educational field, hurting from relationships they never had and watching them fail with their fathers.
Then one day, she was hit with the realization that she’d buried some issues with her birth father and didn’t recognize other issues, because they didn’t come in a form society told her to expect. Thanks to that epiphany, the types of stories she told changed and her blog was born!
Today, Ms. Reid discusses the specific issues she’s faced with her biological father (and other father figures) in recent years. We cover how difficult it can be to stop communication with your father altogether, what it’s like to have a father who denies you and how to heal and recover from that, and how daddy issues contribute to trust issues all-around.
We hope you enjoy what you hear today. If you do, let other people know by writing us a review and rating our podcast on Apple with five stars. And if you haven’t already, make sure you hit the subscribe button so you won’t miss a single episode!
In this episode:
[03:16] - How does Ms. Reid define her relationship with her father figures? This is still a work-in-progress with her biological father.
[06:39] - At 17, Ms. Reid got a court letter in the mail that no child wants to read. Hear the heartbreaking message it conveyed.
[08:34] - Ms. Reid describes a recent awkward incident that felt like an insult to injury.
[11:35] - Ms. Reid discusses the challenging relationship that triggered issues with her biological father and caused her to reach out to him by phone.
[13:48] - Everything happening for a reason is an idea that’s come up on this podcast previously. Brittney asks for Pops’ perspective on this, as it relates to Ms. Reid’s story.
[20:04] - In the past, Pops has recommended writing a letter for women who want to get something across to their dad.
[22:54] - Hear the response Ms. Reid received when she asked her father a few years ago what he wanted to do, work-wise.
[24:29] - Ms. Reid reveals that she put off telling her dad about her pregnancy for months. She didn’t share this publically and was very selective about who she told privately.
[29:55] - In a tough spot due to financial circumstances, Ms. Reid recalls a surprisingly supportive conversation she had with her grandfather.
[33:31] - They say "it takes a village to raise a child." Ms. Reid very much believes that she’s a product of such a village.
Links and Resources:
The Discussion Room podcast
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