Fabulous Over Fifty

Top 10 Gifts for Moms with Chronic Illness

1. Babysitting - Moms with chronic health issues get exhausted easily, and it can really wear us out to be the moms we want to be. A short break can do wonders for bringing back our enthusiasm & giving us the recharging we need to keep up with the kids.
2. House cleaning - Let’s face it, after a day of running the kids around, going to doctors appointments, and some days - even just getting showered and dressed - we’re exhausted. But we don’t want to live in filth. Sure, we’re keeping the house clean, but being able to take a break and rest our bodies instead of scrubbing floors would really help us out. For me, deep cleaning my entire house at once would be like running a marathon, and let’s face it - neither of those thing are going to happen! I have someone deep clean once a month, and it’s one of the best gifts my husband gives me.
3. Gift card for restaurant that delivers - Some days, even thinking about making dinner is exhausting, but with the costs of medical bills and medications, it’s hard to justify spending extra money on food from a restaurant. You can also buy a card from a delivery service like Grub Hub or Uber Eats Then your recipient can pick the restaurant & have anything they have a craving for delivered
4. Comfortable blanket - I use several of these to keep warm, and keep comfortable. I can use them for supports behind my neck, or on my lap for my book or computer. Also, my hands and feet are always cold, even in summer, so they’re nice to have all year. My absolute favorites are throws from Costco. The best part? They’re not only the softest, most comfortable blankets out there, but they’re affordable! (And under $10 in-store)
5. Bedside hospital table - I LOVE my bedside table! It’s the kind you have at the hospital. It only has a bar up one side, and 2 rolling supports on the bottom that roll right under the bed or couch. I also have a night stand, but because I have so many things that I need, and getting up can be difficult, it’s great to have this extra table where I can reach it. The best part is that it rolls right over the bed, so I can eat at the table, work on my computer, or play games with the kids, even when I’m not feeling well enough to be up and about.
6. Soft pajamas. Comfort is so important when our bodies are already making us uncomfortable. The ultimate choice for this would be a lounge outfit that feels like pajamas, but looks like something we could wear during the day - because we definitely will!
7. Natural body care products. As noted above, we’ve got a lot of extra costs because of our health, and indulging on special body products isn’t on the top of the list. But that doesn’t mean we wouldn’t love to splurge on a fancy body lotion or bath scrub. The only thing to watch out for here is artificial scents and ingredients that might make us feel worse. Natural is definitely the way to go.
8. Socks. Soft, comfortable socks. They’re like hugs for our feet. Socks that aren’t too tight around the ankle are the best. Bonus if they’re cute, we’ll smile every time we put them on.
9. Pretty notebook/journal. Brain fog is real, and sometimes we forget things. Writing reminders on slips of paper is dangerous, because we either lose them or forget to look at them. Having a pretty notebook next to the bed would be a great way of reminding us to check it, and give us a place to put all those ideas that are keeping us up at night. You can find a Sick Mom's Guide Podcast notebook on Threadless.
10. Last, but definitely not least is time. Time with you! Chronic life can get lonely. Sometimes it’s hard for us to get out, and it can get lonely sometimes. Having someone come visit me, and just sit for a few hours so we can talk and catch up with a cup of tea can make my whole week better. Schedule a time to come and visit. It’s a gift we won’t forget.

Is the holiday season a time of joy, or do you wish it could just all be over already? You don't have to suffer through the holidays!

1. Set boundaries. You don't have to have Aunt Edna stay with you for two weeks over the holidays if she upsets you and/or your family. She can stay in a with other family, a hotel, or her own home.

2. Eat what makes you feel good. No, ice cream for breakfast, lunch, and dinner isn't the best choice unless you've just gotten your tonsils out, but start enjoying your food.

3. Bring foods you can eat to events. Sure, gluten-free, dairy-free cookies taste different, but at least you'll have something on the buffet line.

4. Sit down with the people you love and discuss holiday expectations. This includes your kids. A ten minute conversation now can save hours of frustration on the big day.

5. Change things up! Just because your family has done something for 50 years doesn't mean you have to do it if you are uncomfortable.

6. Create family traditions. #5 doesn't mean you need to ditch everything you've ever done before. Keep the traditions that give you joy. Tweak traditions you kind of like to make them your own.

7. Do as much, OR AS LITTLE, as you like.

8. Take time for yourself. Don't have any extra time? Make some. You're a grown up, and you really can take time for you when you need it.

Create a new Holiday for yourself! Here's how we're doing that with Festivus:

1. Only inviting our kids, keeping it small
2. No cooking, we're ordering Chinese take-out
3. We're creating family picture books that include a note from each person to have when we're apart
4. We made t-shirts to commemorate the date
5. We've talked to everyone to make see which parts of holidays they like so we're all comfortable, happy, and full of joy

Are you creating joy this holiday season? Share how at hardymom.com/contact

Thank you for joining me today!

Want more? Go to HardyMom.com and you'll find ways to live well, grow, and enjoy your life again -with any health challenges.

I'd love to hear what you think about this episode! Send me a message at HardyMom.com/contact

Have a blessed week,

Jen

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” -Yoda Yes, I'm a Star Wars geek. But there is some wisdom found in Yoda's words. If nothing else, it shows us that we can quickly get from a subtly uncomfortable place to a place of darkness quickly. And let's face it, when mom's angry, everybody suffers! If you find yourself getting angry quickly, this is the show for you.

As moms we all get angry, but we can control how we show and handle that anger, along with letting go of most of it by being prepared.

Join me as I talk to Afghanistan veteran Amanda Huffman about Anger Management for Moms.

How to Manage Anger: 1. Take a time out (for yourself) 2. Call someone if you feel like things are out of control (Get urgent help right now by calling Boys Town 24 hour hotline at 800-448-3000) 3. Communicate your feelings before you get to the point of anger 4. Evaluate expectations. Decide what's expected of everyone. Decide together how realistic those expectations are.

EXPECTATION - REALITY = FRUSTRATION

5. Identify your triggers and come up with a plan so you can avoid being so angry in the future.

Remember, if you do lose your cool, don't be too embarrassed to talk to your kids about it. Let them know about your feelings. Apologize.

WHERE TO GET HELP: Do you need urgent help right now? Call: Boys town 24 hour hotline at 800-448-3000 Celebrate Recovery, a place for people with hurts, habits, and hang-ups: https://www.celebraterecovery.com

About Amanda Huffman: Amanda is military veteran who served in the Air Force for six years as a Civil Engineer including a deployment to Afghanistan. She traded in her combat boots for a diaper bag to stay home with her two boys and follow her husband's military career. Her blog, Airman to Mom, incorporates stories from her past military life and how she views life through her unique life experiences of both a veteran and military spouse.

Amanda's advice: Know you're not alone. It's normal to get angry. Reach out for help when you need it.

You can find Amanda:

www.airmantomom.com

Thank you for joining me today!

Want more? Go to HardyMom.com and you'll find ways to live well, grow, and enjoy your life again -with any health challenges.

I'd love to hear what you think about this episode! Send me a message at HardyMom.com/contact

Have a blessed week,

Jen

"When I was in the hospital I didn't have that role model" (amputees, or people in a wheelchair).."and that's what I've been trying to be for other people." Kirstie Ennis

If you haven't heard of Kirstie Ennis, here's a quick introduction (you can learn more here:

Kirstie Ennis is redefining beautiful. When you look at her picture, you know right away Kirstie is a beautiful woman, but she doesn't always feel that way. You might not notice the scars on her face, or her prosthetic leg, but Kirstie does.

"The injury doesn't define me but it's absolutely a part of who I am."

Kirstie grew up as an strong and attractive young woman. Her parents were both Marines, and she joined the Marines at at 17, wanting to help others. Kirstie was a helicopter gunner who served in two deployments. During her second deployment, her helicopter was shot down. Kirstie suffered a traumatic brain injury, injuries to her spine, face, brain, and shoulders, and her left leg. She's had over 40 surgeries since then. The most difficult for Kirstie was an above the knee amputation of her left leg.

"I needed to see myself as someone who could be sexy, or be attractive...Now I want to show other people that they can do it for themselves too."

As someone who had always been active, the healing process has been difficult for her, and one year after the accident, she lost hope. Fortunately, after a talk with her dad, Kirstie found new motivation, and has kept moving forward ever since. Kirstie says she's accomplished things she'd never imagined since her accident, and she can't wait to see what the future holds.

I was lucky to catch up with Kirstie and have a great conversation about disability, beauty, and what she's doing to change the way people view both.

You'll find the transcript at HardyMom.com/redefining-beautiful

You can find Kirstie:

Website: https://kirstieennisfoundation.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kirstieennis2/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kirstie_ennis

Want more? Go to HardyMom.com

You can connect with me at HardyMom.com/contact

Please Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it today.

Our music is A New Day, by Scott Holmes

5 Things to be thankful for:

1. You're here!

Every day that you wake up, you have hope. Hope that tomorrow will be better, that you'll feel well, and that new opportunities will present themselves

2. Scientific Advances

Did you know that kerosene was used as a treatment for many common ailments 100 years ago? And in 1952, both tuberculosis and syphilis had no cure. Today you can go to the store and pick up modern miracles every day! Babies that are born early have a much greater chance of survival because of modern medicine. Imagine the innovations that you'll see in 5, 10, or 25 years! Your health concern may be totally eliminated by then.

3. People Who Love You

You've got people who love you. They might not be the "traditional" family, but you have people in your life who you can count on and you aren't alone.

4. You've Got Your Basic Needs Met

If you're reading this, and listening to this podcast, you've got electricity. If that's the case, you probably have a roof over your head. You have food, and clean water, and that's all very important. Unfortunately, there are millions of people all over the world who don't have those things that to us are common basic necessities.

5. You Get to Create New and Positive Changes

No, your life might not be going the way you expected it to. You might not even be able to do a lot of the things you used to do. But you know what? That situation can help you take on new challenges and meet new goals you never imagined having! No, I'm not being Pollyanna and pretending all of this doesn't suck sometimes, it does. But you can not only reclaim your life, but rise above your old standard of living, and create an entirely new future. The possibilities are endless.

I challenge you to create a new goal, and email me to tell me what it is and again when you accomplish it. Together we can do great things, no matter what's happening with our bodies.

I've got to tell you, I've done this. I moved to my paradise, and am living the life of my dreams! You can do it too!

Thank you for joining me today!

Want more? Go to HardyMom.com and you'll find ways to live well, grow, and enjoy your life again -with any health challenges.

I'd love to hear what you think about this episode! Send me a message at HardyMom.com/contact

Have a blessed week,

Jen

p.s. Like the show? It would be great if you could help out by following or subscribing on your favorite podcast app.

Our music is "A New Day," by Scott Holmes