Season 2, Ep 3 - Intimacy After Baby
07/14/22 • 65 min
In this episode, my husband James Mattingley & I are interviewed by the wonderful Aimee Batuski of Desire on Fire, on how our marriage has changed since becoming parents. Aimee helps us dig into all the shifts we’ve gone through, and how we’ve navigated them together as a couple.
We knew our lives would change after we got married, started our businesses, and had a baby, but it was impossible to fully prepare for the ups and downs that would occur through all of these major life events. Here we share how we’ve adapted to new needs, expectations, and roles as parents.
Today, we’re bringing our tools and advice to you so that you can learn from our mistakes and successes and start integrating these practices into your own relationship to start having the intimacy you crave.
If this episode moves you, please let me know by reaching out by email, Instagram DM, or leaving a review to let us know your thoughts! If you’re curious about our offerings, visit us at www.integratedintimacy.co.
Key Moments:
(4:13 - 5:52) Our history as a couple so far
(6:16 - 9:25) Reflecting on our marriage and early parenthood. Describing the magnified feelings and emotional bubbles we experienced
(9:26 - 12:20) Megan feeling needy after giving birth, and learning to feel worthy of that extra love and care
(12:22 - 13:39) James’s perspective on being needed more while receiving less, and what has changed for him in becoming a father
(13:41 - 19:26) How we’ve navigated the inevitably uneven roles in new parenthood without becoming resentful of each other (well, not too much!)
(19:28 - 22:11) How James has responded to different communications surrounding Megan’s needs
(22:13 - 27:15) How we’ve kept the erotic intimacy alive after becoming parents. Hint: intimacy doesn’t always involve sex
(27:16 - 32:46) The physical challenges we faced postpartum. Intimacy, sex, and body confidence
(32:48 - 42:37) Sharing our juiciest, most stubborn fights - and how we moved through them by choosing love again and again
(42:39 - 55:55) Analyzing the moments where we’ve failed to disagree in a healthy way, but have always gotten back on track
(55:58 - 1:02:59) Tools like “Emptying the Bucket” on how to move through disagreements and regulate yourself in heated moments.
We’re hosting a couples’ retreat in September! Learn more here:
https://integratedintimacy.co/epic-intimacy-retreat/
Private 2 on 2 couple’s coaching:
https://integratedintimacy.co/couples-intensive/
Get in Touch with James, Megan, and Aimee:
https://www.instagram.com/megandlambert/
https://www.instagram.com/james.mattingley/
https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/
Aimee’s Desire on Fire Website:
In this episode, my husband James Mattingley & I are interviewed by the wonderful Aimee Batuski of Desire on Fire, on how our marriage has changed since becoming parents. Aimee helps us dig into all the shifts we’ve gone through, and how we’ve navigated them together as a couple.
We knew our lives would change after we got married, started our businesses, and had a baby, but it was impossible to fully prepare for the ups and downs that would occur through all of these major life events. Here we share how we’ve adapted to new needs, expectations, and roles as parents.
Today, we’re bringing our tools and advice to you so that you can learn from our mistakes and successes and start integrating these practices into your own relationship to start having the intimacy you crave.
If this episode moves you, please let me know by reaching out by email, Instagram DM, or leaving a review to let us know your thoughts! If you’re curious about our offerings, visit us at www.integratedintimacy.co.
Key Moments:
(4:13 - 5:52) Our history as a couple so far
(6:16 - 9:25) Reflecting on our marriage and early parenthood. Describing the magnified feelings and emotional bubbles we experienced
(9:26 - 12:20) Megan feeling needy after giving birth, and learning to feel worthy of that extra love and care
(12:22 - 13:39) James’s perspective on being needed more while receiving less, and what has changed for him in becoming a father
(13:41 - 19:26) How we’ve navigated the inevitably uneven roles in new parenthood without becoming resentful of each other (well, not too much!)
(19:28 - 22:11) How James has responded to different communications surrounding Megan’s needs
(22:13 - 27:15) How we’ve kept the erotic intimacy alive after becoming parents. Hint: intimacy doesn’t always involve sex
(27:16 - 32:46) The physical challenges we faced postpartum. Intimacy, sex, and body confidence
(32:48 - 42:37) Sharing our juiciest, most stubborn fights - and how we moved through them by choosing love again and again
(42:39 - 55:55) Analyzing the moments where we’ve failed to disagree in a healthy way, but have always gotten back on track
(55:58 - 1:02:59) Tools like “Emptying the Bucket” on how to move through disagreements and regulate yourself in heated moments.
We’re hosting a couples’ retreat in September! Learn more here:
https://integratedintimacy.co/epic-intimacy-retreat/
Private 2 on 2 couple’s coaching:
https://integratedintimacy.co/couples-intensive/
Get in Touch with James, Megan, and Aimee:
https://www.instagram.com/megandlambert/
https://www.instagram.com/james.mattingley/
https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/
Aimee’s Desire on Fire Website:
Previous Episode
Season 2, Ep 2 - My Birth Story of Lila
Today, I’m finally sharing the highly-requested home birth story of our daughter, Lila. This is a tell-all episode with no intimate details spared.
In this episode, I recount my birth journey — from choosing our midwife, the days leading up to the birth, the moment I knew I was in labor, the feelings and sensations moving through my body during the whole experience, all the way up to the birth when we finally met our daughter.
If this episode moves you, please let me know by reaching out by email, Instagram, or leaving a review to let me know your thoughts!
If you’re curious about what my husband James & I offer, visit us at www.integratedintimacy.co.
Key Moments:
(0:00 - 5:12) How we chose home birth, navigating family and cultural expectations, and the secret our midwife didn’t tell us at first
(5:15 - 6:00 ) The calm before labor begins - a quiet moment with God and the Universe
(6:01 - 10:00) Realizing labor is starting (on my exact due date!)
(10:01 - 15:00) How my birth team made me feel like a true goddess, channeling my primal power in the late stages of labor
(15:02 - 16:05) Connecting deeply with my husband in the moments before Lila was born
(16:08 - 17:57) Channeling pain into pleasure as I started pushing
(17:58 - 19:26) Pooping during labor: let’s talk about it
(19:35 - 22:02) The final pushes, and the indescribable joy of finally meeting our daughter
(22:03 - 22:53) Bonding with Lila through baby-led breastfeeding
(22:54 - 25:30) Post-birth: stitches, catheters, placentas, and cutting the cord together as a new family
(25:31 - 27:27) Reflecting on the feelings of empowerment after giving birth and final thoughts
Birth Resources Mentioned in the Episode:
“Transformed by Birth” by Britta Bushnell
“Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth” by Ina May Gaskin
“Nurture” by Erica Chidi Cohen
“Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering” by Sarah J Buckley
“Bountiful, Beautiful, Blissful” by Gurmukh
“Give Birth Like a Feminist” by Milli Hill
“Expecting Better” by Emily Oster
Where to Find Megan:
Next Episode
Season 2, Ep 4 - Reaching Out for Support in Early Motherhood with Kori Zornes
Today, I’m interviewing a coaching client and friend of mine, Kori Zornes (@herwanderlustsoul) about her transition into motherhood, and her decision to reach out for support during this transformational time in her life.
For many new mothers, the first few months after baby are a blur, and Kori’s experience was no exception. Through all the chaos, she’s been relearning about herself. Who she is, what her values are, what she wants out of motherhood and partnership, and how she wants her future to look with her growing family.
In this episode, we discuss why it’s so important to reach out for support no matter where you’re at in life, why Kori chose me to coach her through this time, and all the beautiful things she’s learned about herself and her relationship along the way. Kori's commitment to self-development has had a ripple effect throughout all aspects of her life. I’m honored that she chose me to support her through it and excited to continue celebrating her future growth!
If this episode moves you, please let me know by reaching out by email, Instagram DM (@megandlambert), or leaving a review to let me know your thoughts!
If you’re curious about our offerings, visit us at www.integratedintimacy.co. Connect with Kori on Instagram, or visit her website to learn more:
https://www.revampretreats.com/
Timestamps:
(01:18 -3:43) Kori’s background, coming out of the postpartum cocoon and beginning to rediscover herself
(3:46 - 5:54) What was going through her head as she decided to receive support during this new phase of her life
(5:56 - 7:48) How Kori and I aligned to work together on her goals
(7:50 - 9:11) The top 3 things Kori wanted to work on during her coaching
(9:16 - 11:26) The challenging moments — realizing her relationship is a mirror for herself
(11:27 - 15:15) Why you should “focus on your own side of the street” (and what that actually means)
(15:16 - 21:18) Apologizing, improving communication, and changing the stories we tell ourselves around disagreements
(21:29 - 23:07) Breaking down tumescence and how tumescence hinders our deepest connections
(23:09 - 27:35) Getting curious in moments of confusion or doubt
(27:37 -29:55) What is Kori celebrating herself for in her journey?
(29:57 - 33:45) Making sense of the early postpartum blur and leaning into the messiness; closing thoughts
If you like this episode you’ll love
Episode Comments
Generate a badge
Get a badge for your website that links back to this episode
<a href="https://goodpods.com/podcasts/eros-mama-the-podcast-with-megan-lambert-407241/season-2-ep-3-intimacy-after-baby-56939356"> <img src="https://storage.googleapis.com/goodpods-images-bucket/badges/generic-badge-1.svg" alt="listen to season 2, ep 3 - intimacy after baby on goodpods" style="width: 225px" /> </a>
Copy