ATC 363: Foundations of Mental Toughness: It Starts Within – Self-Awareness, Confidence, Boundaries and More

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Lucho and Tawnee are back on for Ask the Coaches episode 363.

Anonymous asks:

Mental Toughness 101

How would you define toughness? (Admittedly, this is inspired by my recent start to reading Steve Magness’ book Do Hard Things).

What the coaches say:

Listen to OMM 17 in which Tawnee outlines how mental toughness can certainly be a great thing; however, it can also be tricky and certain types of toughness can even do more harm than good in certain cases like those with eating disorders who may also be “good athletes,” which is highlighted in a landmark study here.

We also reference Steve Magness’ new book Do Hard Things which has some amazing and refreshing insight on the topic of mental toughness, redefining what we’ve always thought toughness to be.

Tawnee also wrote an article on this topic way back in 2016, below are some quoted highlights from that piece, which intertwine with our answer on this show:

“Many experts and articles will tell you mental toughness is about going outside your comfort zone. I agree, and at some point I’ll recommend this for you, but it doesn’t always start with that act alone. Of course, doing those uncomfortable acts contribute to building a strong mind—no one will deny that—but, sorry, it doesn’t automatically mean you’re a mental badass. Mental toughness starts from within with self-confidence. Before you even do the physical acts that build mental strength, first you have to get real with yourself and take control of your mind. Don’t worry if you had it backwards. I did too.

“For as long as I can remember, I have always been a tough person starting when I was that little tomboy who kept up with the neighborhood boys when other girls wouldn’t even dare. Into adulthood, I’ve always been willing and able to do things that put me outside my comfort zone, whether toeing the line in a freezing cold triathlon, bombing down a black diamond on my snowboard or the scariest of all: public speaking. I may come across as very mentally tough because I’m able to push myself into these uncomfortable situations, but there’s another side to it—a side of me that ignored what mental toughness really meant for all too long.

“You see, outwardly I have always done ‘badass’ feats. But internally, I was living distressed for many years due to a faulty mindset. I lacked self-confidence and self-love, and never bothered to develop these things properly, instead choosing just to “be tough.” My exterior appeared tough indeed, but on the inside there was turmoil, anxiety and (irrational) fear. What you didn’t see were all those panic attacks I had and a life consumed by worrisome thoughts. Choosing to be tough on the outside doesn’t make these underlying issues just disappear. I put on façade to fool myself, and others. A life of going hard and “no pain no gain” was the easy part. But getting real with myself? Not so much. It took years.”

“Question 1: Do you feel reoccurring anxiety, worry and fear even over the smallest things?

“Eventually I realized worry, panicky feelings and fear had crept into my daily life and I’d be full of anxiety at the drop of a dime, no chance to react any differently because I didn’t know any differently. It led to many unhealthy habits and behaviors. Finally I r...