ERP 281: How To Use The 6th Love Language In Your Relationship

Knowing your partner’s love language can offer positive outcomes in your relationship. The five love languages describe the different ways that romantic partners express and experience love. Oftentimes, the act of love that we’re willing to give is connected with our dominant language. Although it’s strenuous to match your partner’s especially in the early stages of your relationship, it can be achieved with practice and commitment to the process.

The practice of the 6th love language in your relationship is also pivotal to you and your partner's optimal living and real functioning. Taking time for one's self or self-care should not be viewed as a partial or total absence of engagement in the relationship. Here’s why. Today’s episode discusses how you can apply and cultivate the benefits of the 6th love language in your relationship to be more present, more available, and have more opportunities to engage in an authentic relationship with your partner.

Check out the transcript to this episode in Dr. Jessica Higgin's website.

In this episode:

04:19 Gary Chapman’s five love languages — words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, gifts — neatly package an individual’s preferred care style. Everyone has a primary love language that’s related to what they hope to receive from their partner.

11:03 The 6th love language — space — is an act of deep love and care where you give/ask your partner for space. This sense of space or solitude may come in the forms of physical or relational distance where a person takes time to contemplate, process, and feel one’s own truth.

12:47 Introverts and highly sensitive people value this love language more than others due to their absorbing nature. This allows them time to reflect, process, and be comfortable in their own company.

18:18 Emotional disconnect in relationships occurs when someone has mistakenly picked up on their partner’s non-verbal cues. To counteract this, revealing conversations that aim to articulate or educate both sides’ wants are necessary.

23:41 In times of conflict, men may benefit more from the 6th love language as they need a moment to breathe and process things before actively engaging with their partner. However, the difference in gender lies in the ability to name and articulate the concern.

28:53 On Jessica’s personal relationship: How the practice of revealing conversations and the 6th love language have sustained their healthy marriage

Mentioned

• The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman (*Amazon Link)
• The "Are You A Highly Sensitive Person" Test by Elaine Aron
• 17 Traits of Highly Sensitivity People Article
• ERP 134: Sensitivity and Intimacy with Candy Crawford
• ERP 273: How to Handle the Concern of Vulnerability Not Working in Relationship
• Grief Refuge app

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