Healing Generational Trauma & Reclaiming Self-Worth with Susan Lieu
Explicit content warning
03/11/25 • 55 min
In episode 150 of The Empowered & Embodied Show, Kim and Louise sit down with author, activist, and performer Susan Lieu to explore the weight of family expectations, intergenerational trauma, and the journey to reclaiming self-worth. Susan, author of The Manicurist’s Daughter and creator of the solo show 140 Pounds: How Beauty Killed My Mother, shares her deeply personal story of uncovering long-buried family secrets, navigating cultural pressures, and ultimately learning how to break cycles of silence and choose herself.
Through humor, vulnerability, and bold insights, this conversation explores self-worth beyond achievement, the importance of having "salad friends" (the ones who tell you when you have spinach in your teeth), and why true healing starts with looking inward.
"We pay a tax on our silence. Whether it’s in our bodies, our relationships, or our sense of self, unspoken pain doesn’t just disappear—it festers." – Susan Lieu
Key Takeaways
🔹 Breaking Family Cycles – How Susan confronted generational silence and redefined her own path.
🔹 The Weight of Cultural Expectations – How ancestral trauma shapes self-worth and what it takes to unlearn it.
🔹 Achievement ≠ Fulfillment – Why success alone won’t bring happiness—and how Susan learned to redefine it.
🔹 The Importance of ‘Salad Friends’ – Surrounding yourself with people who tell you the truth (with love).
🔹 Receiving Without Guilt – Learning to let yourself enjoy life’s little pleasures without justification.
🔹 Healing Starts With You – Instead of seeking validation externally, real transformation begins by going inward.
Key Moments
[00:00] – Intros and celebrating the little things (like giant Peruvian grapes!)
[07:09] – Unpacking family trauma and the power of storytelling
[13:42] – The weight of cultural expectations and the cost of silence
[21:26] – Why achieving more doesn’t always mean feeling more fulfilled
[28:49] – Breaking the cycle: Reparenting yourself and shifting family dynamics
[34:35] – The art of truly listening and holding space for others
[41:17] – Reclaiming self-worth and learning to receive joy without guilt
[48:23] – Choosing yourself: How to step into your own power
CONNECT WITH SUSAN:
Website: http://susanlieu.me
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/susanlieu/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/susanlieuofficial
Instagram: https://instagram.com/susanlieu
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@susanlieu6046
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES MENTIONED:
📖 The Manicurist’s Daughter by Susan Lieu
🎭140 Pounds: How Beauty Killed My Mother by Susan Lieu
🎙️ Model Minority Moms Podcast
Join a circle of changemakers committed to leading with purpose, presence and ease inside Kim's Rising Visionaries community and mentorship program.
Reclaim your career and confidence during midlife through Louise's Rise & Redefine program.
In episode 150 of The Empowered & Embodied Show, Kim and Louise sit down with author, activist, and performer Susan Lieu to explore the weight of family expectations, intergenerational trauma, and the journey to reclaiming self-worth. Susan, author of The Manicurist’s Daughter and creator of the solo show 140 Pounds: How Beauty Killed My Mother, shares her deeply personal story of uncovering long-buried family secrets, navigating cultural pressures, and ultimately learning how to break cycles of silence and choose herself.
Through humor, vulnerability, and bold insights, this conversation explores self-worth beyond achievement, the importance of having "salad friends" (the ones who tell you when you have spinach in your teeth), and why true healing starts with looking inward.
"We pay a tax on our silence. Whether it’s in our bodies, our relationships, or our sense of self, unspoken pain doesn’t just disappear—it festers." – Susan Lieu
Key Takeaways
🔹 Breaking Family Cycles – How Susan confronted generational silence and redefined her own path.
🔹 The Weight of Cultural Expectations – How ancestral trauma shapes self-worth and what it takes to unlearn it.
🔹 Achievement ≠ Fulfillment – Why success alone won’t bring happiness—and how Susan learned to redefine it.
🔹 The Importance of ‘Salad Friends’ – Surrounding yourself with people who tell you the truth (with love).
🔹 Receiving Without Guilt – Learning to let yourself enjoy life’s little pleasures without justification.
🔹 Healing Starts With You – Instead of seeking validation externally, real transformation begins by going inward.
Key Moments
[00:00] – Intros and celebrating the little things (like giant Peruvian grapes!)
[07:09] – Unpacking family trauma and the power of storytelling
[13:42] – The weight of cultural expectations and the cost of silence
[21:26] – Why achieving more doesn’t always mean feeling more fulfilled
[28:49] – Breaking the cycle: Reparenting yourself and shifting family dynamics
[34:35] – The art of truly listening and holding space for others
[41:17] – Reclaiming self-worth and learning to receive joy without guilt
[48:23] – Choosing yourself: How to step into your own power
CONNECT WITH SUSAN:
Website: http://susanlieu.me
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/susanlieu/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/susanlieuofficial
Instagram: https://instagram.com/susanlieu
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@susanlieu6046
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES MENTIONED:
📖 The Manicurist’s Daughter by Susan Lieu
🎭140 Pounds: How Beauty Killed My Mother by Susan Lieu
🎙️ Model Minority Moms Podcast
Join a circle of changemakers committed to leading with purpose, presence and ease inside Kim's Rising Visionaries community and mentorship program.
Reclaim your career and confidence during midlife through Louise's Rise & Redefine program.
Previous Episode
Emotions, Identity & Finding Brave Spaces with Dr. Essence Deming-Rivers
Episode 149 of The Empowered & Embodied Show, Kim and Louise sit down with Dr. Essence Deming-Rivers, a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Director of Psychological Services at Customized Behavioral Healthcare. As a queer, chronically ill, neurodivergent woman of color, Dr. Essence brings a unique and powerful perspective to conversations on identity, emotional awareness, and belonging. Together, the trio explore the importance of emotional literacy, how to create brave spaces for self-exploration, and why curiosity is a superpower when it comes to discovering who we truly are.
"The discomfort of growth is temporary. Staying where you don’t belong is forever." - Dr. Essence Deming-Rivers
Key Takeaways
🔹 Feeling stuck? Get curious!
🔹 Emotions are data, not obstacles.
🔹 Safe spaces are essential for growth.
🔹 Find your right ecosystem.
🔹 Diversity fuels belonging.
🔹 Stop cleaning up your emotions.
Key Moments
[00:00] – Introductions and celebrations of presence, alignment, and freedom
[03:42] – Finding community and opportunities that align with your vision
[07:09] – The myth of “figuring it all out” at 18 and why identity is fluid
[10:31] – Differentiating between doing and being through a values-based approach
[18:20] – How to recognize brave spaces for self-exploration
[22:08] – Emotional literacy as a skill and using the “How We Feel” app
[26:35] – The importance of tracking emotions and body sensations
[35:58] – Belonging, diversity, and why we stay in environments that don’t serve us
[43:18] – Embracing brave vulnerability and showing up authentically
[48:57] – The power of diverse communities and allowing yourself to evolve
Resources Mentioned
📱 How We Feel App – A free tool for tracking and identifying emotions. https://howwefeel.org/
🎨 Emotion Sensation Wheel by Lindsay Braman – A tool to connect physical sensations with emotions. https://lindsaybraman.com/sensation-feelings-wheel/
Connect with Dr. Essence:
Website: https://customizedbehavioralhealthcare.com/dr-essence%2C-psyd
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/essencerivers/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dressencerivers/
Join a circle of changemakers committed to leading with purpose, presence and ease inside Kim's Rising Visionaries community and mentorship program.
Reclaim your career and confidence during midlife through Louise's Rise & Redefine program.
Next Episode
Decolonizing Leadership and Embracing Belonging with Shoshana Allice
In episode 151 of Empowered and Embodied, Kim and Louise dive into the powerful intersections of leadership, identity, and belonging with their incredible guest, Shoshana Allice. Shoshana is a neuro-inclusive leadership coach and consultant, committed to decolonizing leadership and fostering spaces where true belonging—not just fitting in—is possible.
We explore the difference between belonging and fitting in, the armor we carry through life, and how our deeply ingrained systems shape the way we move through the world. Shoshana shares her journey of unlearning, embracing curiosity, and making space for courageous conversations that challenge power structures and systemic inequities.
Consider this an invitation to ask hard questions, sit in the discomfort of growth, and to recognize that getting it “wrong” is part of the process. From recognizing our internalized beliefs to reimagining leadership in a way that centers humanity, this episode is a powerful call to action: to show up, stay curious, and create spaces of true connection. This is one of those conversations that leaves you feeling full—of ideas, questions, and a renewed sense of purpose.
"If you want to start decolonizing your leadership, start with curiosity and humility. Be willing to unlearn what you think you know." - Shoshana Allice
Key Takeaways:
- Belonging is not about changing who you are to fit in—it’s about being fully accepted as you are.
- Decolonizing leadership means questioning the systems we operate in and unlearning the ways we uphold them.
- Armor has served us, but softening it allows for deeper connection and authenticity.
- Curiosity and humility are the keys to unlearning and moving toward collective liberation.
- Rest is resistance—shoutout to Tricia Hersey and The Nap Ministry!
Key Moments:
00:00 – Welcome, guest introduction & celebrations
07:28 – The power of asking questions
11:33 – Struggles and self-judgment
14:34 – Decolonizing leadership
19:59 – The importance of land acknowledgments
23:28 – Unlearning leadership assumptions
29:58 – The weight of systemic armor
34:36 – Privilege, belonging, and identity
41:22 – The illusion of fitting in
46:50 – Learning from younger generations
52:02 – Final reflections and takeaways
Resources Mentioned:
📖 Rest as Resistance by Tricia Hersey
Connect with Shoshana:
Website: www.decolonizingleadership.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shoshanaallice/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WorkshopsThatDontSuck/
Join a circle of changemakers committed to leading with purpose, presence and ease inside Kim's Rising Visionaries community and mentorship program.
Reclaim your career and confidence during midlife through Louise's Rise & Redefine program.
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