Small Choices, Big Blessings - #empathyforgrief - Break the Silent Struggle With Grief

Small Choices, Big Blessings

Welcome to Mother's Backyard Buzz and #empathyforgrief Episode #13, where I want to focus on "Small Choices, Big Blessings." Each topic is all about "breaking the silent struggle" around grief.

My podcasts are based on my personal grief journey from my book: My Backyard Garden - A Memoir of How Love Conquers Grief. I share current insights into this life-changing journey called grief. Thanks for joining me, Debra Hester, as the author and your host of #empathyforgrief podcast.

April Blessings

It's April! And April is Garden Month. Many people say gardening is one of the best ways to pass the time and lift your mood. I agree; no surprise that I'll rarely pass up an opportunity to talk about gardens because of my book, My Backyard Garden - A Memoir of How Love Conquers Grief. Speaking of my book, I'm reflecting on Chapter 1, "A Change of Planes," if you're following along.

Our lifestyle has changed so much due to COVID-19. I'm hoping #empathyforgrief podcasts helps those who are grieving the loss of a loved one and also those who may be grieving the loss of a lifestyle. I've learned that traumatic events are traumatic events, and I believe COVID-19 physical distancing and potential infection qualifies as a traumatic event for many. I've found that the effects of traumatic events sometimes come up later after the dust has settled.

I'm not saying the dust has settled, but I do feel as if we are at the beginning of this COVD-19 journey with more unknowns than knowns. I am moving forward with faith that things will get better, and those big blessings will emerge from some large and small choices that we have to make right now. I don't know when these big blessings are coming, but better and benefits are still my expectation. I hope you join me in that expectation.

Past Time Choices

Most, if not all, of us, are doing something different now, and to make this adjustment, we had to experience and respond to some big choices. Now I'd like to encourage you to focus on some small decisions. There are small choices that produce big blessings as we wait for the big benefit we are all waiting on...COVID-19 under control or completely gone away from the headlines, and it impacts on our day-to-day. As Southwest Airlines use to say, we want to be "Free to move about the country."

In my book, My Backyard Garden, A Memoir of How Love Conquers Grief, I decided to become a Southwest Airlines Rapid Rewards member. It was a small choice that paid off big when I had to suddenly change my airline tickets. I knew Southwest's plane routes, processes, and online system. So, I didn't worry about the outcome. That was a choice and a habit that was well worth investing in. We always have an opportunity to invest in the right decisions, but now more than ever.

I remember a statement that was posted on LinkedIn that said, "It is like the universe has sent us to our room." I agree, and I also believe and, as usual, ask you to think about with me, "how will we emerge from our room and be different and better."

Moving Choices

I've worked remotely for several years, so this is not a massive change for me. Staying in the house is a monumental change for me, though, as it is for most people. I think back on when I first started working remotely. I created a space and a place to work that soon became a home office in the basement. After a while in the home office, I realized that I could really work anywhere in the house that had a door. So my next move was to the den, then to the kitchen, but that room had too much traffic, so I went to the dining room table. When the weather got better, I found myself on the porch. My point is that, now that you've made this initial adjustment, if you want to, don't stop. Move again and again, even in the house, until it feels right for you.

Sometimes the slightest movement at the right time becomes a small choice with a big blessing. I've found that big blessings don't necessarily mean size but meaning. It's a big blessing to me when I experience a new understanding. That understanding can be about myself, my world, or my life. With the gift of understanding comes peace, joy, and a feeling of contentment right where I am. I encourage you to seek it, feel it, and enjoy the blessing of understanding.

Gardening Advice

Back to the garden theme, remember I can't leave it out. Gardening was recommended to me by my mother-in-law when I was going through a divorce. Starting a garden was the best advice for me at the time. Her recommendation was better than what the counselors or clergy told me. Talk about an unhappy time in my life is an understatement. I miscarried a baby and shortly afterward went through a divorce. My life was shattered. Like...