246: Rising Up Against Imposter Syndrome with Kate Arms

Imposter syndrome is something that most people have felt at some point or another. Intense people may feel this in magnified ways, as the world tells them they are not welcome as they are. Join us on this guest call to learn more!

Kate Arms is a return guest to the show, and I’m thrilled to welcome her back for this guest call. Kate is a classic overthinker, high achiever, and multipotentiality who exudes intensity. Her career has spanned being a lawyer, arts administrator, coach for gifted and twice-exceptional adults and parents of gifted and twice-exceptional kids, and an Agile Coach in a high-tech company. She is the author of several books and has experience in coaching, leadership development, and psychology. Kate is here to help us understand imposter syndrome and how to reduce our suffering within it by building more connections.

Show Highlights:

• Kate defines imposter syndrome as “a group of symptoms clustered together to make us feel like we don’t belong”
• How symptoms can include anxiety, hypervigilance self-consciousness, self-sabotage, perfectionism, and a sense of hiding who you really are
• How these symptoms pair with suffering to make us feel awful and ashamed
• How symptom relief and root-cause relief work together
• Why imposter syndrome boils down to belonging, connection, and a feeling of, “They won’t want me if they know who I really am.”
• How we are programmed (especially intense people) to think we are not welcome as we are because of childhood shaming, being told to “tone down,” and being too much or too sensitive
• How the “mismatch” occurs and how to address it
• How the process of learning happens when we start out blissfully ignorant
• The difference between identity and character vs. skills and experiences
• Why we must to learn to be comfortable in being ourselves–even if it makes others uncomfortable
• Why it’s hard to risk having the courage to overwhelm others with who we really are
• How we can build our sense of belonging through building our community
• How feeling connection with at least three people in your group will foster your feeling of belonging

Resources:

Hear the follow-up conversation with Kate: Community.embracingintensity.com